You Are Only As Good As Your Word

By Ange Fonce


This is something I endeavour to practice in my life on a daily basis... both in business... and my personal life... and it goes like this...

"People will do business with you... and be with you when they know you are trustable... and you conduct yourself with integrity."

It may read simple... yet if you know how to read deeper... it can be rephrased as...

"People will  engage you to do work for them... place more responsibility in your hands... or enter into a relationship with you if you can prove that you know what you are talking about... skilled enough to undertake the work... and can be trusted to do what is asked...   and able to get along with others who you may come into contact with that you might rely on to accom­plish the tasks."

Although this advice has a business focus... not unlike Sun Tzu’s Art of War it is more widely applicable if you look past the words... and into the actual meaning.

The lynch pin in all of... Human Relationships... is TRUST!

Everything else will fall apart with out its inclusion. 

I am fairly certain that you have met men... and women in your life who on the surface have what appears to be the right packaging... and when you find out more... the content is very different. 

You will have also met men... and women you do not particularly enjoy being around... yet you that when they say they will do some thing... they will move heaven... and earth to "keep their word."

Trust Is Built Between Two People... 

Integrity… although closely allied to to TRUST... there is a difference.

The two terms "trust"... and "integrity" are very closely related... yet "how" do they fit together?

Trust generally requires more than one person... and also there is TRUSTING in yourself... and your own "abilities"... which can be termed as CONFIDENCE!

Integrity Is About Your WORD!

That you will "deliver" on what you say... that you will stick to what you say you are going to do... and that you will follow through with the "actions"... that you "act" on "your word" to fulfil it.

A high level of "integrity"... which can be termed as HONOUR... increases "trust"... and "respectfulness" between two... or more people.  

The opposite is also "true"... those who do not fulfill "their word"... and "conduct" themselves in a "dishonest"... and "deceitful" way... i.e... "lying!"

Will be seen... and viewed as... "untrustable"... and lacking in "integrity."

Ultimately...TRUST... and INTEGRITY are necessary for any "true long term success"... and "accomplishment" in any form of "human relationship"... and keep in mind when I mention "success"... I do so with the certainty that "success" encompasses much more than simply financial success.

You can be the richest man... or woman going... and be an "absolute failure" in "love"... living in a crappy marriage... and do not "know how to communicate" with to your kids... have no friends whom you can rely on... and do not enjoy... or care for the simple things in life... like nature... and only  find "happiness" in material things... and suffer from avoidable health problems. 

There is no doubt about it... "success" is an all "encompassing state of being"... and reaching this state is impossible with out "trust"... and "integrity."

Love cannot become alive... and flourish without "trust"... and "integrity."

Sex can happen purely based on..."chemistry"... or a functional need to release... yet ATTRACTION... and INTIMACY of a "deeper connection" to form a LOVING relationship... needs to be built on the foundation of TRUST... and conducted with INTEGRITY!

If you do not have "trust" with your spouse you can never ever have a "relationship" that lasts... even if the "sex" is... "mind blowing"... ff you do not have "trust" between yourself and your children... do you think they will come to you with their "real issues" and "share" with you? 

If you do not have the "integrity" to do what is "best" when no one is looking... you plant the "thought" in your own "mind" that if you "act" in such a deceitful way... surely others must also "act" like this... don't they?

No... not every one is like this! 

When you cannot "trust your ­self"... you cannot "trust others"... and without this... every "success" will be either still born... or fleeting at best... because such "success" is born out of "dishonesty."

Trust And Integrity Are Competitive Advantages In Life...

I find that in life... the "virtue of integrity" is becoming more difficult to come by... it is becoming in our society that when someone says something... there is a 90% chance they will renege... or back peddle... and make excuses... and renege on their promise... and break their word.

It has become such a pervasive trait of so many men... and women that when some ­one DOES do as they say they are going to do... and "keep their word"... I am astounded that I have found such a RARE individual.

If you are ever going to go into business for your self... and I highly encourage it... "trust" and "integrity" can be two of your biggest "competitive advantages" simply because most people you often deal with would sell their souls... saying whatever they "feel" they need to say to make money at any cost.

When you do the opposite... and stick to your guns when the pressure is on... when you tell it like it is rather than what you "think" other people like to hear... you will build up clien­tèle that "appreciate" your "honesty... straight forwardness"... and "integrity"… and most likely lose the clients who do not exhibit these traits saving yourself a ton of headaches.

Now... "how" do you "build trust"... and "demonstrate" that you have "integrity?"

Do Not Lie... Or Sugar coat Things... 

Sometimes "lying"... and "deception" seems easier... consider this...

The "amount of energy" you "invest" in "lying... dishonesty" and "deception"... can "equally" used in being "honest... truthful" and "acting with integrity"... one is a really "bad investment" which will cost you greatly in the long run... the other option will BENEFIT you greatly in the long run and ensure your "success." 

When you compromise your "integrity"... and do it too often... it becomes difficult to "know"... and tell where to draw the line.

Do Not Say Things You Have No Intention Keeping To... 

Unless you are certain you can... and will carry it out... do not "lie" because you do not want to hurt someones "feelings"... you can be TRUTHFUL... and "act" with "empathy" without being hurtful... if you cannot do something... or it cannot be done by you... or you do not want to do it... be HONEST from the start... and say so from the start... do not "lie" then... "flake"... when it comes to "delivering" the deal you "agreed" too.

You may not be liked for your "honesty"... you will though be RESPECTED... and "trusted" for your "integrity"... and it less stress in the long run too... and you will make far fewer enemies... and people who avoid you. 

Also... if you promise something you do not really want to do... you are wasting "time... resources" and "energy" to do something else you really would prefer not to be doing... and you are in effect... "lying to yourself"... and to the people you made a promise too... and I grantee you will let them... and yourself down... thus "destroying" their "trust" in you... and your own "credibility."

Just Do It And Make Your Promise Happen... 

If you said you would do it... just do it... and do not whine about it... no one likes to hear you bitch... and moan.

Do Not Talk Behind People’s Back... and BACK STAB... 

If you are going to bad mouth someone behind their back to me... what is stopping you doing the same towards me if we have a falling out... nothing... when you have something to say... take it up with the person you have something to say to.

For myself... the building of "trust"... and "cultivating integrity" is the keystone on which everything else I do is built upon... and is the key to "success" in every persons life.

I totally go with the WIN WIN approach... and if the other person... or persons cannot "work... appreciate" and "cooperate" with me in their dealings with me on that... then it is simply "no deal" and I will walk away.

My TRUST... and INTEGRITY are not for sale at any price... they are far to "valuable."

And you should not "compromise" on your own "trust"... and "integrity" either... or you will find yourself in a very difficult place... were no one will want to ever deal with you... in "business"... and in "love."

As always... leave a man or woman all the "better" for "knowing" you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely


Ange is an  Author... Speaker... Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant and Sexologist... who works with men and women on line and real world who desire to "personally develop" themselves and their "relationships" to become Dynamic Lifers... "creators" of their own life and wealth!


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