Why Ask The Question Why?

By Ange Fonce

Instead of blindly "believing" in something does not mean it is going to "serve you".... your "beliefs" can actually be "sabotaging" you.

Ask the question... WHY?

Do you have a "purpose"... a "goal" you want to "achieve" and you "focus" on what you want to "acquire?"

Ask yourself these questions....


When you ask "why" you get to the root of your "existence"... as in "why" are you here in the first place? 

It is an "opportunity" to expose the things you "believe" in... those "beliefs" that block you... those "self saboteurs" and those "beliefs" that can "serve you" in "your purpose" and "focus" on "acquiring your goals."

When your "purpose" and the "goals" you want to "acquire" and your "beliefs" are not "aligned"... you will suffer the "constant frustration" of "failure" as your very own "belief system" is working against you.

When you look as those people who are "successful" at what they do... you will find their "purpose... goals...values" and  "beliefs" are all working together with "conviction" and "congruent" with their MISSION in life and their PURPOSE to FULFILL it!


When you ask yourself the question....

"What am I ACTUALLY doing with my life... what are My VALUES?"

Working from the outside in... most people know "what" they do or want to do in life... business or other ventures.

Yet few people actually ask themselves the question...

"What am I doing this for... Is "what" I am doing actually serving me.. do I in fulfilling my purpose serve others and the greater good?"

What are your "values"... or do you even KNOW your "values?"

When you ask the "what" question... you are again exposing your "beliefs" and "behaviours" to scrutiny. 

Through your "belief system" you have developed "behaviours" that are completely "self sabotaging" and "in congruent" with your "values"... this even extends to "relationships."

When you ask the "what" question... ask yourself,.. 

"Are my BEHAVIOURS... BELIEFS actually serving my values in my purpose... goals and relationships?"


Most people also have some idea of "how" they do what they do or "how" they intend to do it technically speaking.... yet for many people the "how" question is where they get stuck and their "belief system" can completely block and fail them.

Lets use an example here...

A simple task of changing a fuse in an electrical plug.... you know HOW to change a fuse in a plug... don't you?

Some of you will answer... yes I know HOW to change a fuse in a plug.

I will ask HOW did you learn to do this?

Some will answer ...

"I learnt by trail and error... blew up a few fuses until I learnt HOW to do it."

Some will answer ...

"I learnt HOW... by getting the information I needed to KNOW and changed the fuse."

Others will answer...

"I learnt HOW to change the fuse by getting someone else who knew HOW to do it... and then they showed me HOW to do it."

Each of these 3 learning methods of HOW to change a fuse in a electrical plug all end up with a "positive" result... it is just that each method has a "different time frame." 

The "trail and error" method taking the longest time and being the most wasteful... unless you are pioneering something completely new.

The "trail and error" method will be the way you go... and you can "acquire your goal" by a process of "elimination" and "adjustment"... Thomas Alva Edison, comes to mind... he was not the inventor of the light bulb... yet it was he that took the "idea" and perfected a long lasting practical electric light bulb. it took him 6000 attempts... and he "worked out" and "understood" the HOW.

Learning from another person who "knows" HOW to "change a fuse" in an electrical plug... is the FASTEST and most "efficient way",.. then  you yourself have "learnt" HOW to "change a fuse" in an electrical plug.

And for those who answer...

"I do not know HOW to change a fuse in an electrical plug... I do not know HOW to do it?"

I will ask the question...

"HOW come... what stops you from learning?"

Is there something in your "belief system" that stops you from LEARNING and knowing HOW?

Something that stops you from fulfilling your PURPOSE and "acquiring" your GOALS... the lack of knowing HOW to?

And one final thought on the question of HOW?

In my profession as a Coach... I often get asked the question by both men and women.

"I do not understand men?"

"I do not understand women?"

I will simply answer...

"HOW come... the knowledge is there to learn so you can understand men and women?"

What you "believe" of men and what you "believe" of women is in so many ways completely "untrue"... if you do not KNOW and understand HOW men and women operate... the "differences" between men and women and what men and women "share" and have in "common".... HOW are you going to enjoy a fulfilling and mutual enjoyable "relationship" with either a man or a woman?

Your "beliefs" can be blocking you in so many ways... because of the lack of knowing HOW!


This is the "call to ACTION" question...

When are you going going to fulfill your PURPOSE... when are you going to acquire your GOALS... when are you going to take ACTION?

Now there is nothing wrong with "planning" to take "action"... and when "planning" becomes the pursuit of everything has to be "perfect"... that is no longer "planning" that is called "procrastination"... an excuse to AVOID and not take ACTION!

There are many people in this world who are fulfilling their PURPOSE and working to "acquire" their GOALS where everything is not perfect... everything is not right... everything is not going smoothly... they face many challenges and obstacles... and they experience the grip of fear deep in the pit of their stomach... and they go ahead because they are driven by their "convictions" to fulfill their "purpose" and "know enough" of HOW to do it.

And more importantly.... they LOVE what they are doing.... they are FOCUSED... PASSIONATE and CARE about their PURPOSE and are willing to do and undertake what ever is needed to be done to fulfill their purpose.

When I set up my business... I have over 25 years of Knowledge and Experience of Counselling... Coaching and Sexology... and that was working for other people... yet I wanted to be my own Boss and in CONTROL of my own Independence and FREEDOM... plus I really enjoy working with and helping other people build Great Lives for themselves... and when it come to business... marketing... advertising... selling and the Internet... and that means going beyond Facebook and Google... I was a complete novice in many ways... yet I KNEW this is what I wanted to do and I went through these questions with myself....



Because it is my purpose and what I REALLY wanted to do.


What was I doing for? 

There are many reasons... and the primary one for me personally is that... I wanted to be in CONTROL of my own life and build an International Coaching Service.


I sat down and thought deeply on this question... looked at myself and my own skills set... looked at WHAT I needed to learn... where will I get the information from and WHOM to get the information from... who could I learn from and help TEACH me? 

The planning and where I wanted to be in 5 years time and HOW I am going to make this all happen?

Targets... dates... goals... and a lot more.


When I set my "target  date" to go totally self employed and yes I to admit... that was a scary moment and yet also exciting... I knew I was taking full and total RESPONSIBILITY for my own LIFE!

Yet even here people can get stuck even after doing the WHY... WHAT and HOW?

They become stuck in a loop of "ifs... buts" and "maybes" and every thing has to be perfect?

And that is the "time" to be really HONEST with your self... and take a look at that old chestnut... "beliefs."

Because somewhere in your "belief system" there is "negative feedback loops" running that are not "congruent" with your "why... what" and "how?" 

Those beliefs are blocking your WHEN... and stopping you from taking the most "crucial step" of all... when everything comes together... the ACTION to make it "all happen!"

Because without ACTION.... the DOING to make your life HAPPEN... everything else is just a "mental exercise" and "survival mode"... and your dream will remain just that... a dream and nothing more... so do not just dream your life away... surviving.


WHEN you going to do it... WHY not NOW?

As always... leave a man or woman all the "better" for "knowing" you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Ange is an  Author... Speaker... Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant and Sexologist... who works with men and women on line and real world who desire to "personally develop" themselves and their "relationships" to become Dynamic Lifers... "creators" of their own life and wealth!

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