How To Use Humour To Build Attraction When

Social Courting Part 1 

By Ange Fonce

In this two part article I want to talk about “how” using Humour builds “attraction” and why most men who try to use “humour” when building “attraction” get it completely WRONG.

The characteristic of being a ‘funny guy’ does not automatically make you more “attractive”... it is “essential” you add “one important ingredient.”

What is that ingredient?

The RIGHT SUBTEXT... delivered in the right “context” with the right “person”... and for these two articles I will use the theme of a man wanting to build “attraction” with a woman.

So... what exactly is “subtext?”
 
Subtext is the “undertone” of what is left “unsaid” and “inferred”... it is what the other person... “reads between the lines.”

Subtext is everything you are “saying about yourself”… without “actually saying it”... it is the “mystery” you portray... that women will want to “solve”...  and make no mistake on this... women are “experts” at picking up on this… they are “consistently analysing” and “interpreting” everything about you.

Now when as a Man you “understand” this about women... you can build “intrigue” with a woman that will get her “hooked” and so she cannot help herself be anything other than “intrigued” by you... she HAS to "solve" the "puzzle" and will drive herself nuts until she “solves” you... then your dead meat.
 
So obviously... do not become "dead meat"... where is the "mystery" and "intrigue" in a "puzzle" solved?

Take for instance you wear a Rolex Watch... for some women this will say... 

“He is the kind of man who can afford a £5000 watch... he has money.”  

“He is the kind of man who appreciates nice things.”

“He is in the kind of man who is a materialistic son of a bitch.”

And all you are doing is wearing a Rolex Watch... to you maybe “no big deal”... to a woman it is part of your “puzzle” to be “solved” and she has to “solve it?”

Why do you “think” the “hero” in romance novels is always “dark... brooding... mysteries... unfathomable?”

That is like “crack cocaine” to a woman... addictive "chick crack!"

It is the same with the Beauty and The Beast theme... “why” is the Beast a beast... how come?

She is "driven" to solve his "riddle" and "rescue" him with her love! 
 
Now “knowing” this... THINK of “everything” that comes out of your mouth the same way... there are the words you are “actually saying”…  and then there is what you are “not saying about yourself”... and that is what she is picking up on... that is “how” she sees you... and THIS is where most men mess up... their “subtext” is all wrong.
 
Take “humour” for example... humour serves 2 purposes...
 
1...  To make a woman laugh... which releases all those lovely feel good endorphins that gets her "feeling sexually excited"... that is why many woman rate “humour” in a man as an “attractive” trait”... a man that can make me laugh is code for a man who can “turn me on!”

2...  To display “social intelligence” or other “high status traits.” 
 
HOWEVER most men get “humour” completely wrong and use it like a sledge hammer to “knock” a woman senseless... and not as a soft feather to “caress” and “tickle her fancy” and “light” her up!

Now that sentence has "subtext"... can you "figure" it out?

I mean... look at it this way... from a womans perspective... as a woman you would be inclined to be backing away smiling rather nervously at a sledge hammer welding guy... with a voice screaming in your head ernistley “run Florance... run”... and do just that... run away as fast as your little legs could "pump you."

And being a woman... you would more likely to be “intrigued” by a man smiling “seductively” at you caressing a soft feather... and would want to “know” what his “intentions” are with you... and what “he is going to do you”... with that feather?

More “subtext”... I am having “fun” writing this... Smiles!

So many men use “humour” as a sledge hammer... and it is not “helping them” to build “attraction”... it is actually working against them... having the “opposite effect” and turning women “off.”
 
Now this is a “real live line” a client used before he begun working with him...
 
“What is the different between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies... I don’t have a pile of dead babies in my garage.”
 
Even I when I first heard him say that... rich guy or not... even as a Man... I looked at him strangely... now a woman may giggle or more likely make a nervous laugh... to be polite... yet no matter which way you look at it... the “subtext” of that “humour”... is that you are kind of “creepy” and “immature” guy... humour like that may get your guy friends laughing... yet with a woman... you have just “blown” any kind of “attraction” you were attempting to build with her... clean out of the water... and most certainly “humour” like that does not bring you any closer to “sex”... the “on” button is now firmly "switched off!"
 
And yet saying that... the Human world is a very strange place... and a woman may totally love that line... if so... grab her quick... you have just won the jackpot and found your “soul mate” in strangeness!

Now here is an example of using “subtle humour” with a woman... and while the “subtext” may not be “humorous”... the “context” of the “delivery” can be very “humorous!”
 
“I am kind of over clubs... I mean... they are all just dark places where they serve alcohol and Levels is playing... right?” 

This is really an “observation”... yet an “observation” demonstrates your “understanding” of “gender” and “social subtleties” and works so well because you actually come off as an “aware male”... who “understands” and "owns" his “environment.”
 

Subtext And Context

Now... not to long ago I was building “attraction” with a very pretty woman who had... let us say... an ample chest area... and during our first “meet up”... I smiled at her and “picked” the right moment in our “conversation”... the “context” to casually mention...
 
“I was going to wear a v neck shirt this evening... and decided against it... as I really did not want you staring at my cleavage all night.”

And with that... she burst out laughing and girly patted my arm saying...

"You are wicked."

To which I replied dryly with a look that made my "intentions" clear...

"Yes... I know!"
 
It is what I call a James Bond moment... that “subtle use” of "humour” was packed with “positive subtext”... and what was in the “subtext?”
 
1... You are the type of man who knows how to "flirt."

2... You are the type of man who is comfortable with "seduction" and "sexuality."

3... You are a man who is totally comfortable being “masculine” with a woman.

4... You are not a boring politically correct anal “nice guy.”
 
And she will totally “get” were you are “coming" from... because many women with ample chest areas are usually only “known” and have a “conversation” with... from the “neck” down... when out with most guys.

Yes I had “observed” and made a joke out of it... which was in turn... a “compliment”... she “read” between the lines... no use of the “sledge hammer”... a subtle use of the “feather” which “tickled her fancy”... I let her “know” I had noticed and “related” to her as being a WOMAN!

Look at Benny Hill and “study” what made him so "funny" and able to get away with rampant “sexual innuendo” on prime time TV... he was a Master of “observation” and the delivery of “subtext!”

He “said” without “saying” and women loved him for it... he “knew” and “understood” how to “tune” into women in the right “context”... and Benny Hill was never short of women in his life... he was a “riddle” so many women wanted to “solve!”

Now... there is actually an “art” to "creating" these types of “observations” and using “humour” to build “attraction”... using “subtext” to “say” without “saying”... and I will share more with you in Part 2... and focus more on using “context.”

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely



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There is one “trait” that is more “important” to your “success” when “courting” men or women than just about anything else and this one “trait” is the “ultimate predictor” of how “successful” you will be with the opposite sex.

If you ignore this “trait” you will NEVER have much success when “courting”... and if you take this to heart and do something with it... your success will ...


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Ange is an  Author... Speaker... and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life and wealth! 


To CONTACT Ange CLICK HERE



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