www.god-heaven.com

By Ange Fonce

Let me share a little story with you...

One day a Soul turns up in heaven... goes through all the usual checks... immigration control... criminal record checks... eye retina scan... body x rayed... blood type... racial purity check... body search... anal probe... make sure there is no sharp objects... vibrators... batteries... lube... handcuffs... whips... etc... ect.

And is admitted into the Big H with his papers in order... and then goes of on a good walk around finding out where things are... getting to feel the ... “vibe”... of the place... and so on.

As the Soul is walking along on his meanderings... "he"... I will use he in this instance...  he notices that one part of Heaven is really... really busy... very different to the other parts of Heaven... where there are non alcoholic lounge bars... pipped Muzak... sweet little Unicorns... my little pony... arcades filled with non war killing games... cherubs... vestal virgins... flying pink elephants... and all the usual Disney... fluffy cloud... "love is all"... stuff... and he was sure he spotted... "Mickey Mouse"... who seemed... "high"... in the Italian cheese bar... to much Gorgonzola... more and likely... and I must go back and visit those vestal virgins... mental note on that one! 

Anyway... this part of Heaven appears more like an industrial complex... there is this BIG office block... surrounded by lots of warehouses... and what appears to be manufacturing plants... and there are lots... and lots... and lots of Angels... going back... and forth with bags between the office block... and the manufacturing plants... and at the other end of the manufacturing plants... boxes of all shapes... and sizes... some very small... others HUGE... that are  being moved into the warehouses... and from the warehouse loaded onto... which really surprised the Soul... "spaceships"... that appeared to be from.. "Star Trek"... being shipped out!

The whole place was a hive of non stop activity  

Then Soul noticed an Angel standing alone having a smoke break not far from the office block.

Being a curious type... and interested to KNOW what is going on... the Soul wonders over to the Angel and asks...

“Excuse me Mr Angel... I am new Soul here... I have been wondering around having a good look to see what Heaven is all about... it's all very nice... chilled... laid back... and all very serene... your every need seems to be catered for...yet here it is so different... all this rushing around... and activity... what is going on?”

The Angel takes a long draw on his cigarette... I must inform you at this point.. that this particular Angel died of lung cancer... there I have done my... “Public Health Warning”... bit.

The Angel narrows his eyes... puffs out the smoke... coughs...and splutters... then looks directly at the Soul... and casually drops his cigarette butt on the floor... stubbing the cigarette butt out with his bare foot... hard Angel this one... eats lots of... “whole soul puffs”... and wears no sandals.

The Angel then speaks to the Soul... and says....

“Do you know I have worked here for a long... long time... and you are the first Soul ever to come across... and ask what is going on here... you lot are usually chilling out... being busy... getting..."stoned"... doing nothing.”

The Soul replies... 

“Well I am curious... there seems to be so much going on here?”

The Angel looks at the Soul... and replies...

“Do you REALLY want to known... what is going on here?”

Nodding his head towards the the industrial complex. 

The Soul replies intently...

“Yes I would love to know?”

“Come on then... and I will show you around”

The Angel invites to the Soul to walk with him... and they both head of towards the big office building.

As the Soul approaches the doorway which has lots of Angels rushing in and out of... Angels of all kinds of colours... shapes... and sizes... every one of them carrying what appeared to be bags... he then notices a sign above the main entrance doorway.

God Manufacturing And Supplies To The Universe
Con-sumer Division
www. god-heaven.com.

And written underneath... the same words in many different languages

“H'm... interesting... god it seems is an... “equal opportunities employer.”

The Soul thinks to himself as he follows the Angel into the hustle... and bustle of the office.

The first thing the Soul notices is the HUGE amount of what appears to be mail sacks piled up every where... up the stairwells... in the corridor... every available space is taken by a sack... they all seem to be filled with strange things called... “hopes" ... and... "wishes?”

He thinks to himself... 

“Jesus Christ... Buddha... Shiva... Yahweh...and Mohammed... Health and Safety would have a field day here!”

DING DONG... "We interrupt this story with a... "Public Service"... announcement in the interests of... "Political Correctness".... the main names in reference to the... "invisible friend"... have been mentioned here... if you are an atheist... it does not matter to you.... Thank you... returning you to the story... have a nice day."... DING DONG.

The Angel looks hard at him and says... 

“I heard that.”

The Soul sheepishly mumbles...

“Sorry.”

As they push... and shove  their way through the hustle and bustle along the corridor... the Soul manages to peer into one the offices which all have their doors open as the Angels are constantly hurrying in... and out carrying piles of these strange forms... called... “hopes”... and... “wishes.”

Each office has five Angels seated behind a desk with large stacks of these forms on  either side of them... and there is another row of 5 Angels seated at desks... busily working away on computers.

“Hmm... god is tech savvy too... impressed!”

The Soul thinks to himself.

He watches as an Angel takes a sheet from one pile... briefly reads it... sometimes scribble something on it... then stamp it... and put it on the other pile... these piles of... “hopes”... and... “wishes”... are constantly being filled up or taken away by other Angels.

And every now and again an alarm goes of... and an Angel holds up a... “hope”... or a...”wish”... and shouts... 

“One for the Red pile.”

And another Angel... who somehow does not look like an Angel... walks across from a desk that is separate at the back of the office... snatches the held up... “hope”... or... “wish”... then swaggers back to their desk... smiles wickedly... rubs their hands... and goes to work.

“I wonder who he or is it a she is.. and what the... “Red pile”... is?”

The Soul thinks to himself.

Eventually the Soul... and the Angel make it to the end of the corridor... where for some reason it is very quiet... nothing is moving there... the Soul somewhat flustered by now after all the bashing he has just endured... asks the Angel what is going on?

The Angel looks him in the eye... and speaks...

“This is where all the... “hopes”... and... “wishes”... from Humanity  to God come... I hope for this... I wish for that... I want that... gimme a new car... gimme a new house... gimme a job... gimme loads of money... gimme power... TV... mobile phone... food... love... gimme me... gimme me... gimme me... and so on... blah... blah... etc... etc.”

The Soul looks at the Angel... in stunned silence.

“Do You know.“ 

Says the Angel...

“Father Christmas... those Pixies... and Elves... have it easy... only once a year... they have a rush job on... that is all... they have all year to prepare for it… Christmas that is.”

The Angel continued...

“We bugger of there for our holidays... its kids play there.”

Says the Angel smiling at the Soul… winking.

The Soul does not respond.

The Angel  raised one eyebrow... and nudges the Soul playfully with his elbow.

“Kids play… get it... kids play?”

“Oh yes.” 

Replies the Soul smiling weakly... and thinks to himself...

“Do not give up the day job!”

“Anyway!” 

Says the Angel not to impressed with the Soul now...

“We here at Heaven are at it 365 days a year... 24 hours  a day non stop... it never ends... always a constant demand... and if that is not bad enough... some cleaver bastard down on earth has thought up this... “Law of  Abundance”... thing...and we are only just coping with the demand of all those selfish humans who want everything handed to them on a plate.” 

Says the Angel with great feeling... and suddenly looks around quickly... whispering to the Soul out of the side of his mouth...

“Pretend you did not hear that”

“Hear what?” 

Questioned the Soul.

“You know.” 

Replied the Angel nervously.

“Oh... bastard you mean!” 

Replied the Soul with a smile.

“Shh h… Shh… you will get us both into the... “Red pile”... they do not approve of that kind off thing here... if they hear us we will be of to the other... “department”... for a bit of toe roasting with... “Old Nick.” 

Said the Angel looking around nervously... and now behaving in a very worried and agitated manner.

“Old Nick... Red pile... toe roasting?” 

Asked the Soul... puzzled?

“Yes... the red guy with the pitch fork... gods secret partner... who runs the other part of heaven... he whos name cannot be mentioned here... its were the... “bad ones”... go... we process all the... “hopes”... and... “wishes”... here... for both god... and... old nick... sometimes... certain... “hopes”... and... “wishes”... are... “Red pile”... to be processed by the other division... who we do not really talk about here.”

Says the Angel looking sternly at the Soul... who then looks around to make sure no one is near and able to hear... he leans in close to the Soul... and in a hushed voice carries on speaking...

“They have their own processing department for direct entry... for those who... lets just say... who have not lead the best of lives in the way they have conducted themselves... and the other division are expanding these days to keep up with an ever increasing demand... we do not really like to talk about it here... our two divisions have linked up due to the increased workload... it seems humans are no longer wanting to do the REAL work to learn... and earn  things... they want it easy... and an increasing number of them... by any means possible... in any way they can do it.”

Says the Angel glumly.

The Soul paused for a moment...

“Oh... OK... so your talking about the devil... and the other division being hell.. so god... and the devil... have under gone a secret merger... and done a quiet deal with each other... to handle the increased demand... is that what you mean... WOW... that is BIG news!” 

Asked the Soul questioningly in a shocked... yet excited loud voice!

At hearing this the Angel goes whiter than white... and suffered the...”DAZ”... effect... grabs the Soul roughly by the arm... and speaking through gritted tobacco stained teeth...

“Come on you... your outta here”

“Not so fast.” 

Replies the Soul firmly... frees himself from the Angels grip... reaches into his pocket... and pulls out a packet of... “whiting fresh breath mintos”... and offers them to the Angel.

“Will help with the tobacco staining.”

And offers the packet to the Angel... who grudgingly takes them.

“Thank you.”

He snaps in reply... and hoisting up his tunic... places them in the elastic of his G string. 

“Your welcome.”

Replies the Soul... and with a smirk says...

“Hmm... nice... and rather fetching... “electric blue”... g string you have there... "Ann Summers"... is it... any way I have noticed how quite it is here... and there is another office... which no one appears to be going in or out of?”

The Angel now very agitated with this troublesome Soul manages to compose himself... and straightening up his tunic... invites the Soul to walk into the quite office.

The Soul is very surprised when he enters the room... for this office is practically empty.... there are only 3 desks... the first desk has a lady Angel sitting there toking on a riffa and who appears to be playing... “Spaced out Invaders”... on her computer... the second desk is empty...  apart form what appear to be a few letters... and the third desk has one of those Angels... who looks like an Angel... yet somehow is not... playing... “Roast the Dope”... with what appears to be an Angel dressed in bondage gear tied to his desk... and porking him with great glee with a firm flaming red tipped pole... as the Angel moans...

"Oh god... Oh god... Oh god!"

Other wise the office is empty.

The Soul turns... and looks at the Angel by the door way... with a very puzzled look on his face... and asks him inquiringly ...

“What goes on here?”

The lady Angel... and the Angel... who somehow looks like an Angel... and yet somehow is not... stop what they are doing... and look towards the Angel standing by the doorway.

The Angel looks at the Soul sadly... and with a big sigh... sheepishly replies... 

“This is the... THANK YOU... department!”

May You Enjoy A Prosperous And Dynamic Day!

Yours Sincerely


A thought to consider... do you ever say... “thank you”... for the most... “amazing”... gift you already have... the... “once in a lifetime”... experience... off your very own... UNIQUE LIFE... and remember there is "no rule" that says "life has to be serious!"

Ange is an  Author... Speaker... and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist who works with men and women on line and real world who desire to "personally develop" themselves and their "relationships" to become Dynamic Lifers... "creators" of their own life and wealth!




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