Who's Orgasm Is It?

By Ange Fonce

Here is an issue that almost ALL men have a big problem with... and I receive a lot of emails from men about "sexing"... and if they just cleared up this one... simple issue... they would dramatically improve their performance in the bedroom and their "sexing attractiveness" to women in every situation.
Here is an email I received recently from a reader of "Intimate Communion Relationship Magazine" that perfectly illustrates the point...
"I have read many of your articles and Love it. However when talking to my girlfriend about her desires she explained that she like to change positions quite often and never really stay in one position too long. This scares me because I'm afraid that changing position after position we'll be prolonging her orgasm and I'll end up coming before her. What is my best way of going about this?"
Is the problem with changing "sexing positions?"  

Does he need advice on the "best way of going about this?"
Of course not!  
The problem is... "This scares me..."
The problem is... "I'm afraid... we'll be prolonging her orgasm"
In other words... the "problem" is...  inventing a "fear" around being good in bed... "fearing" a "problem" that does not exist except in your own "mind."
Listen Up Guys... And Listen Up Good...

You have to STOP "thinking" about making love as a game that you might win or lose... you have to STOP making it all about giving her an "orgasm" or else you are a big failure.
Women can FEEL that anxiety you have around making her cum and it makes it difficult or even impossible for her to relax and cum... experiencing an "orgasm."
I have written and published articles many times before in "Intimate Communion Relationships Magazineand I will write it again now... putting pressure on a woman to have an "orgasm" is exactly the same as putting pressure on a man to get an erection.
Imagine if a woman you were having "sexing" with was asking... 

"Are you hard yet?"  

"Is there something wrong?"  

"What else can I do to get you hard, baby?"  

"How is this?"  

"Is this making you hard?"  

"Are you hard yet?"
Or what if she did not SAY it... and she kept reaching down and checking... and you could just "feel" her desperation to get you hard RIGHT NOW?  

What if she was just getting upset because you were simply taking too long to get hard?!
Think you would be getting hard EVER with a woman like that?
Okay... take a second to laugh at yourself as you realize that you probably do this to women with your "mental attitude."
I will repeat and probably repeat again in future articles coming your way soon. 

Sexing is not a game where you win or lose by making a woman have an "orgasm"... and if you make it into that kind of game... you will never be good at giving women orgasms and you will never be great in bed... and you will never be a GREAT LOVER...  period.
And, look, if your worry is that she will take too long and you will ejaculate before she has her orgasm... then contact me and I will coach you in methods that will help you get that handled...  any man should be able to control his ejaculation at will...  if you cannot... learn how.
And That Is Not The Real Issue Here...  
The real issue is "understanding" that "sexing" is PLAY TIME with the woman you are in bed with...  it is fun and pleasure for both of you...  to enjoy her body and touch her... and have her touch you... and do all the little fun... kinky things you want to do... and if you follow the advice in my articles or my coaching... the "orgasms" will take care of themselves!
You do not need to TRY to give her an "orgasm"... you just need to relax and ENJOY the "sexing"... enjoying YOURSELF enjoying HER... when a woman "senses" you are enjoying yourself enjoying her... she relaxes and completely lets go in enjoying herself enjoying YOU... she enjoys your MASCULINE sexual CONFIDENCE!
She Wants To Change Positions... It Delays Her Orgasm? 
Great... more time to play and enjoy!
There is no rush here... and the secret is... once you stop trying to rush her to "orgasm"... she will FEEL THAT ease and that lack of pressure... which will allow her to get aroused MUCH faster... and she will begin to have "orgasms" naturally.
I have seen that over and over again with women who previously thought that it took them 20 minutes or more to have an "orgasm"...  once they were with a man who "understood" how to just enjoy her body and who did not make her "feel" like she had to work hard at cumming as soon as possible... because he was just working so damn hard at it... she started having "orgasms" in 10 minutes... then 5 minutes... then 30 seconds or less.
This question is no different than someone asking me... 

"I love to cook with my girlfriend... and then she told me she likes to drink a glass of wine while cooking...  my fear is that if she enjoys the wine while cooking... she might not like the food as much when it is done... and then she will not want to cook with me any more."
The "fear" in both cases is invented... and based on a "false thinking" about what is going on.
Enjoying cooking is not a competition with the flavour of the wine...  she is not judging you.
Sexing is not a race to her "orgasm"...  she is not judging you.  

In this case YOU are judging you... stop that!
There is nothing to be afraid of... it is play... it is fun... and just like you... women "love" every part of "sexing"... not just the "orgasm."

Allow her to savour and enjoy all of it... right along with you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Ange is an  Author... Speaker... and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with men and women who desire to "personally develop" themselves and their "relationships" to become Dynamic Lifers... "creators" of their own "life" and "wealth!" 


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