When Social Courting What You Say And What You DO NOT Say
Can Make A Difference 

By Ange Fonce

For now... I want to help you with the "not say" part.

Because... sometimes... often in fact... saying NOTHING is the best thing to say.

Sometimes... just letting there be AIR between you and breathing... being quiet is the way to go.

Sometimes... you want him or her to FEEL you instead of HEAR you.

And most important... you want to be able to hear the most important voice of all... the ones inside your head that are yelling and doing their best to make you DO something and damage whatever wonderful might be happening in the moment of silence.

Become More Emotionally Connected... 

Stop yourself from speaking automatically.

This is the place you are most likely to get yourself into trouble... at the first sign of silence... your mind and then your body goes into panic mode... you make up that he or she is withdrawing from you... you call the moment "cold" and you get fearful.

You go into "repair" mode.

You instinctively try to step into the gap... you instinctively want to "fix" what ever is wrong... you want to fill the silence and create something.

And that is going to take you in the opposite direction from where you want to go.

Drop your attention from the situation and focus in on your body.

Start with your breathing... focus on your belly... just below your belly button... and put your hand on it... now let your tummy relax right into your hand... then take a breath right into your tummy and let it expand into your hand.

Now go to your shoulders... if they're up high... close to your ears... consciously let them drop down so you feel like our arms are just hanging off your shoulders.

So... when he or she  goes quiet... and you are just sitting there... here is what you can do to move the moment emotionally deeper and find some place to put your attention that feels useful.

Do NOT go into PHONE mode!

Getting all caught up in your cell phone is the worst thing you can do... it is what everyone does and you want to NOT be EVERYONE.

Do not go there because it is easy... or because you feel compelled to check your texts and email... because what you are doing is putting up what feels like a “brick wall” to the other person

Another great thing to do is REALLY look out the window if you are in a car... look at the other people if you are in a restaurant... watch the screen if you are at a movie or watching tv... eating is always a great thing to do... slowly... and just “relax” and be “comfortable" with the silence... because if you are relaxed and comfortable with the “silence”... the other person will feel “comfortable” and “relaxed” with you in the silence.

Touch Them...

Gently put your hand under his or hers butt if you are sitting in the car and you have been with them for awhile.

If it is a first “meet up”... turn to him or her... look at their face... make eye contact and “gaze” not stare into their eyes and smile... that is almost as good as touching.

After you have become comfortable with silence... that is when knowing the right WORDS to say can make all the difference... you do not have to be there speechless with a man or a woman... you can actually SAY that you feel speechless!

AND you will know what to say AFTER that... when he or she says something BACK!

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!
 
Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce


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Ange is an  Author... Speaker... and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life and wealth! 


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