What He Hears When You Say...

The Mistakes Women Make

By Ange Fonce

Over coffee he told her that he just did not see a future with her... she paused and without missing a beat simply smiled and said... 

"You wish." 

He sat their stunned as she walked off and could not get her out of his mind... 1 week later he did not text her... and called and fumbled his way around to asking when he could see her again... yes I have been showing women how to do this for years and hearing these stories never gets old... often it is the lack of understanding of how men and women communicate... that can mean the difference between whether a man is going to be attracted to you or not... more than just sexually. 

What He Hears When You Say....

You Say... 

"Let us talk."    

What he hears...

“Your in trouble”

So he is automatically going into defense mode... which could turn into aggression.

What would work better? 

If you have something you need to say or confront him with... say this instead... 

“I am having a problem...” 

When he asks for more information... share with him the specific issue... men naturally like to solve problems... and this will engage him initially without him becoming instantly defensive... instead you will engage his attention and he will want to listen to you without feeling attacked.

When you say... 

"Does this make me look fat?"
What he hears...

“It is a yes or no question that I cannot win... and I am going to end up in trouble now.”

What would work better? 

Do not ask Yes or No questions... it sounds too much like an attorney... not the woman he loves... think about it from his perspective. 

If you do really look fat in an outfit he is not going to tell you... unless he is very confident and can be skillfully diplomatic in his answer...  and to be honest... most men are terrified when they get asked this question by a woman... it is an automatic...

“I am on a hiding here... no matter what I say.”

Save this question for your girlfriend... sister or mother... they will give you an honest opinion that most men cannot.

When you say... 

"I love you."   

What he hears... 

“I love you... and want to hear you tell me you love me too.”

What would work better? 

Walk up to him and put your head on his shoulder……and just keep it there... he may say... 

“What’s up?” 

“Anything wrong?” 

And do not move... feeling you that close without you saying anything will get him to start talking to you... if you will just wait a few minutes. 

Being Deeply Attracted...

Sexy will get his attention... yet sexy is not what will make him want to stay with you... every man does not begin to think of "forever" with you until he experiences this with you... and this is often where women blow out with men and lose him.

Soft Vs. Sexy...
If I was a woman and looked at some of the popular mens websites... like Maxim for example... I would assume that sexy is what every men is dying for in a woman... I would then throw out all of my clothes and start wearing nothing other than lingerie everywhere I went... I would also practice my "sexy" look that would make any man want to put his hands all over me.

Even though I am being silly and going to the extreme... the truth is you have been told that SEXY is what men find irresistible in a woman... please pay attention... that is nonsense and I will tell you why... being sexy is about being in control and it represents a position of power... to be sexy you have to feel empowered and confident... a mans response to sexy is....he wants to have sexing with you... I know... it is kind of obvious. 

This does not mean he thinks you are special... or that he is thinking about anything long term... you are what he desires to conquer.

Now let me introduce you to SOFT. 

Soft is where you focus on the Feminine energy within your heart... it does not just mean speaking softly... although that can be quite hypnotic to a man... also that you are comfortable with being a woman... you do not feel the need to compete with a man... you embrace your feelings... instead of trying to hide them.

You unwind the knots in a mans heart... just by listening to him.

These are just some examples... and I trust you know when you are being soft... it is not that sexy is not appealing... yet just focusing on being sexy can often leave you wondering why a man does not treat you as special.

So here is my question... 

Do you want him to think of you as Special... then focus on being soft as a woman and use your Femininity to draw him in... you can then focus on being sexy.

Because Soft and Feminine is very Attractive and very very Sexy.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Ange is an  Author... Speaker... and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life and wealth! 


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