What Does Your Handshake Say About You?


By Ange Fonce


Body language is obviously such a huge topic that it is difficult to tell where to start.
 
When you are learning something new you want to start with the basics... something that you can practice many times to start understanding the principles behind the art.
 
One of the best places to start with body language is your own handshake. 
 
Handshakes can easily be practiced and since they are such a common gesture they should be practiced because your hand shake on a subconscious level says a lot about you.
 
Next time you are going to shake hands try to be conscious of how you are shaking hands and how they are responding to your handshake because first impressions really do count in the assumptions others make about you.

Figure out what you can do to improve your handshakes and think about how often handshakes come up when you are interacting with someone new and you will understand why they are so important to work on... every handshake says something about you... which means every handshake is an opportunity to express your identity and build value with over people.
 
When I first started studying non verbal communication... I used handshakes in a routine to understand how others especially women would responded or reacted to my touch. 

I would say... 

“I want to shake each of your hands and I will tell you why in a minute.”

And when you think about it... it is a great icebreaker and pips peoples curiosity... then after shaking hands I would explain that I was studying body language and I would tell them the impressions I got from each of their handshakes and I would teach the group how to improve them.

Now just think about that process... I  created an opening to introduce myself in an unusual way and created the context to start an interesting conversation and demonstrated value and that I was relaxed and confident to the group and individuals within the group.  
 
Here are a few tips you can use to improve your handshakes and get started in learning body language and non verbal communication...


 
Grip...
 
Do not shake with a limp hand. 

Instead be firm enough for them to know you are there and do not crush their hand.
 
Release...
 
Do not hang on too long and yet do not let go quickly either...  when you shake their hand make eye contact long enough to say their eye color in your mind... smile and then release... not only will this improve your handshake it will also help you improve your eye contact habits.
 
The Other Hand...
 
There are many different techniques that can be employed with the other hand... the basic guideline is this... keep it out of your pocket and keep it unclenched and relaxed... there is the upper arm and shoulder touch that you can use later when you have built rapport with them.
 
The Shake...
 
Do not make an up and down motion unless the other person initiates it... if they do then reciprocate and respond likewise... just remember it is always up and down.
 
The Anti Shake...

The anti shake Ange?

Yes... well really this is not a handshake in the true sense of a handshake... it is  a method to subconsciously communicate something to someone you like and it is such a subtle method to do so.
 
When you are being introduced to a group of people and there is someone in the group you like and as you are going down the line shaking hands... wait to shake hands with the person you are interested in until last.
 
When they stick out their hand to shake... stare at it for 1 or 2 seconds and shrug... then warmly smile and reach your hand out for a shake. 

It is a great little tease that will create an emotional spike and sub communicates... 

"I like you and want to play."

You are in fact flirting with that person and a lot of psychology goes on it that brief moment... I could write a few thousand words on the processes that goes on in the brain and emotions and to put it in a nutshell... 

First impression... you do not like me?

Then you take it completely the other way... you DO like me.

And in that moment of emotional dichotomy within that person you create a powerful point of Influence of emotional impression on that person... it is called emotional anchoring.

Remember first impressions REALLY do count... you have only a few seconds to influence the assumptions the other person will assume about you as a person.
 
So working on your handshakes may seem like a small piece of the puzzle yet by starting here and paying attention to little changes and learning to read them... you will be on your way to improve your awareness for body language and non verbal communication and how you can create a positive first impression instead of leaving a negative one which is very hard to come back from.

Now what does your handshake say about YOU?

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely




Dynamic Lifer... The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist... Sexologist and Multipreneur... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

4... If you are Happy and you Know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!

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