Time Is On Your Side When You Are Patient To Connect With Others 

By Ange Fonce

One of the most common problems that I get asked about involves "connecting" with others. 

Specifically... what is the best way to "connect" to someone to initiate a friendship... a business meeting... asking someone out on a "meet up"... etc. 

And the answer is that it depends on a lot of factors... not the least of which is "how" much "time" do you have to "invest?" 

For example... 

If you travel for a living and find yourself in a city for a night... and you see someone of the opposite sex that you would like to meet and possibly share some "time" with... the amount of "time" you have available to make this happen is a lot shorter... then say... someone that you want to get to "know" better at the office... where you see them everyday... and you have not figured out "how" to break the ice with them yet. 

So why is the amount of "time" you have to "invest" so important? 

Because the more "time" that you "invest" with someone... the more susceptible they will become to your "influence" and "persuasion." 

So "time" is really "important." 

Have you ever been pitched on buying a time share or vacation home? 

There is a reason that those appointments are a minimum of 3 hours long... because the sellers "know" that it takes an "investment" of "time" to build the "relationship" so being able to establish "rapport" and get you to lower your "resistance" and be able to "influence" you to buy their package. 

I have sat through this type meeting when I booked a vacation a few years ago... I knew going in that I would have to sit through a pitch... and to me at the "time" it was worth it to see what these people were doing. 

And they were good... they had a "movie" room where all of the kids that were there could watch a movie... our scheduled meeting was right before lunch time... they had lunch prepared for all of the participants... and savories for later when you wanted a snack. 

And all of this was orchestrated just so they could "invest" the necessary "time" with us... because they knew "how" important it was to put the "time" in with somebody. 

Now maybe you do not have 3 hours to set aside to meet someone... be it a potential "meet up" with a member of the opposite sex or a potential client for your business. 

So what can you do in that situation to make things happen? 

I talked about the fact that the more "time" you "invest" with someone... the greater your "opportunity" is of "influencing" them. 

Now... I want to give you two other aspects of "time" that can affect your ability to "influence" and "persuade" others. 

The first aspect of "time"... in addition to "duration" is "frequency"... the more frequently you see somebody... the greater the "opportunity" you have to "influence" them. 


Because part of the key to "influencing" and "persuading" others is to have them "relax" when they are with you... and "how" do you get someone to relax? 

It is very simple actually... you show them by "repetition" and "frequency" that you are not a "threat" to them... and the more that they see you as not a "threat" the more "relaxed" they will be around you... and the more "relaxed" they are... the more you can build "rapport" and "trust" with them. 

Make sense? 

Many "times" when you are wanting to "influence" someone... one of the biggest hurdles is getting the other person to "relax"... so getting someone to "relax" and "feel" comfortable with you is the first step in the "influence" and "persuasion" process. 

The second aspect of "time" is "intensity"... and by "intensity" what I mean is "how" many "times" are you making "eye contact" and "smiling" at someone to start a "conversation." 

The "timing" of this "intensity" is "critical"... if you do not "know" someone very well and you continue to stare at them... you are not establishing "rapport"... you are just being creepy. 

The opposite is "true" as well... if someone else is asking you questions and trying to get to "know" you... and you are intensely "focused" on something else... then you could be missing their signals that they want to build a "relationship"... with you. 

Although you may be purposely trying to "influence" someone by using these techniques... others are likely to interpret these incidences "subconsciously." 

In other words... they may not necessarily keep track of "how" frequently they run into you during the day "consciously"... yet "subconsciously" they will get used to seeing you... and the more familiar they become like this... the more likely it is that they will "feel" comfortable with you. 

And being "patient" and "investing time" to build a "connection" with another... also builds the most "crucial element" in any kind of "relationship"... the foundation of TRUST!

Being "trusted" is one of the highest forms of "influence" that you can have with someone. 

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Ange is an  Author... Speaker... and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with men and women who desire to "personally develop" themselves and their "relationships" to become Dynamic Lifers... "creators" of their own life and wealth! 


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