Those Who Look Hungry Never Get Fed 

By Ange Fonce

So I have been out for a walk along the seafront of where I live... and walked back through the City towards home.

One of my favorite spots in in the City is a street called Castle Road...  there are about eight cafe bars placed along the Street... where you can have a meal and a few glasses of wine or beer and enjoy the vibe there.

There is one thing I have noticed as I walk along the Street... the first cafe bar I walk past is ALWAYS nearly empty.

And the owners... an elderly couple... are always standing outside almost begging you to look at the menu and sit and eat at their place... I have looked at the menu a bunch of times...  the menu actually has a lot of good dishes on it.  

I personally have never eaten there... and I "thought" to myself as to "why?"

And then I figured it out and as to "why"... I do not eat there as like many others... they are trying WAY TOO HARD to get my business... they have a "vibe" of "desperation" about them.


And then I look around and I see that almost every table in the place is empty...  and I think... 

"Something must be wrong with this place... why is it avoided?"

On the other hand... all the other cafe bars in the street are constantly busy with young people... this is a University City after all... eating... drinking... socializing... and having a good time.

It is a no brainer... no matter how good the food might be... and how excellent the service is... why would I choose the place that is empty... that is begging for my business?

"Those who look hungry never get fed..."

Here is what I would do if I was that elderly couple...  instead of standing outside every night shoving menus in the faces of people walking by... I would find a couple of groups of young people... and I would let them eat for FREE.  

I would bring them in at the busiest time... I would load their table with food... drinks... whatever.

This way... when all the customers start heading to Castle Road for food and drinks... they would notice this place has a couple tables of young people... laughing... drinking... and enjoying themselves.

People would ASSUME that the place is a "trendy"... little spot.

In "persuasion and influence"... there is the principle called... Controlling the Lens of Perception... in marketing terms there is a method called a "loss leader"... in other words... you take the loss at the front end... and you "invest" to gain the "profit" at the "back end"... and the principle is similar in both cases.

The Principle Of Controlling The Lens...

Men and women that are great with other men and women... are very "skilled"... at "mastering the perception of the lens"... that others "see and perceive"... them through... they "control the lens."

They know how to position themselves as the "best choice."

Maybe its wearing certain clothes that signal to a woman that he is cool and fashionable.  

Maybe its filling her Facebook profile with cool... adventurous pictures of a fun... and social woman.

Man and women who are familiar with the concept of "pre selection"... understand that other men and women are looking for clues that you are the man or woman that OTHER men and women want... you have to be "controlling the lens" that others "perceive and see you" through... like the cafe bar couple who appear... "desperate and needy"... so people "perceive" it is a place to avoid. 

If this couple were to take action to "control the lens"... and "priming" people who walk by... and see the place has young people in there enjoying themselves... that the place is "attractive"... they will "attract" other people into their place.

In marketing terms... they take the loss at the "front end" by providing free drinks and food to groups of young people... and make their "profit" at the "back end"... by increasing their "customer base"... and making more "sales" by people being "attracted" into their cafe bar 

And this principle works the same in "personal relationships."

The more "attractive higher social status" you have as an "individual"... the more others are "attracted" to you.

So do you look hungry?  

Controlling the Lens relates to EVERYTHING you do.

How do you describe your job?

How do you talk about your friends?

What does your Facebook profile look like?

And even more importantly if you are on LinkedIn... how does your "professional profile" look?

Where do you stand when you walk into a bar or a party?

Who do you talk to?

Here is the thing...  Socially Skilled men and women are fully aware that other men and women are making "snap judgements" and "assumptions"... about them constantly.

Instead of leaving it up to others to "perceive"... what they "think and feel"... about you.  

You take "control" of what they think and feel... by YOU controlling... The Lens Of Perception.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Ange is an  Author... Speaker... and International Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Psycho Dynamic Counselling Psychologist who works with men... and women who desire to "personally develop" themselves and their "relationships" to become Dynamic Lifers from around the World!

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