The Tragedy Of Crushed Expectations 


By Ange Fonce


Take a hundred students at most Universities and ask if they expect to be up for a good job when they graduate and all of them will say yes.

Ask a bright 10 year old girl if she expects to have a chance at a career as a mathematician and the odds are she has already been brainwashed into saying no.

Our expectations of what we would like to be are not guarantees of what will happen and yet expectations give us the opportunity to act as if... to trade now for later... to invest in hard work and productive dreaming on our way to making an impact.




Expectations Work For Two Reasons 


First... 

They give us the enthusiasm and confidence to do the hard work. 

Second... 

Like a placebo they subtly change our attitude and give us the resilience to make it through the rough spots and gives us the energy to persist.

When our culture... our media... our power structures... our society says... 

"People who look like you should not expect to have a life like that." 

We are stealing... stealing from people capable of achieving more and stealing from our community as well. 

How can our society that is us by the way me and you say... 

"We do not expect you to graduate." 

"We do not expect you to lead." 

"We do not expect you to be trusted to make a difference?"

When people are pushed to exchange their passion and their effort for the false solace of giving up and lowering their expectations we all lose. 

And almost as bad in the other direction when they substitute the reality of expectations for the quixotic quest of impossibly large and unrealistic dreams we lose as well. 

Disneyesque dreams are a form of hiding because Prince Charming is not coming any time soon.

Expectations are not guarantees. 

Positive thinking does not guarantee results all it offers is something better than negative thinking.

Expectations that do not match what is possible are merely false dreams. 

And expectations that are too small are a waste of time and energy. 

We need teachers... leaders and peers who will help us dig in deeper and discover what is possible so we can push to make it likely.

Expectations are not wishes they are part of a straightforward equation of making it happen and getting it done. 

This work plus that effort plus these bridges lead to a likelihood of that outcome. 

It is a clear eyed awareness of what is possible combined with a community that shares your vision.

It is easy to manipulate the language of expectations and turn it into a bootstrapping and making do you are on your own sort of abandonment. 

An expectation can be contagious. 

Expectation comes from the culture of our thinking. like if you expect the best... then most likely the best will happen!

And most of all positive expectation depends on support... persistent and generous support to create a place where creative and productive outcomes can occur.

To create what you want to create.

Since when has negative expectations and punishment ever created anything AMAZING?

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely




Dynamic Lifer... The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist... Sexologist and Multipreneur... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth!

4... If you are Happy and you Know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!

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"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future." 


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