The Inner Power For Outward Attraction To Women...

Masculine Confidence!

By Ange Fonce


I am often asked questions about relationships from both men  and women who are  readers of my on line magazines... and sometimes using a question from a reader is one of the best ways to "illustrate" the "inner and outer mindset”... of a Masculine Man... because in answering the question I am asked... I can give you the reader of this article... some context for this Mindset of Masculine Confidence.

Every man wants to be more confident in some manner or other... and you need to know by example what the person you want to be WOULD do in order to start steering your attitude.... behaviours... and mindset... it is a way of learning by example... sometimes called "modelling" in NLP terms.

This question is a great case in point...

QUESTION...

"Ange

Alright, I have been reading your advice and following your teachings and I find myself in what I believe is a unique situation.

I have a girl that I want who is cool by herself but likes to hide behind some drama. I'm at the point where I want to tell her to pound sand because of all the drama, but it happened right at the time that she's asking people if I cheated on her. 

Sounds like perfect timing, doesn't it? There's always a catch though. In this case, she's not wanting to hang out with me because of this alleged hook-up and I don't want to hang out with her because of the drama - as such we are at a stale mate. 

Do I approach her about it directly or do I just move on with my life? She'd be a good girl if she could drop the drama. (yeah, there's a bit of one-itis in there.)

Thanks Ange, you rock!"

Grieg.... Australia

My Reply...

Hi Gregg,

Thank you for writing to me and your question.  

Well... if I understand your situation correctly... this woman is stirring things up as a method of shielding herself... and a way to push you away and keep herself challenging...  or maybe just because this is the type of “personality” she is.

Now before I go on... I want to take a second to point out something that most men and women miss.... in every single question I get from  both men and women on social courting... attraction... and seduction... their question always has two parts... the “outer game question”... which usually is about the person they are either seeing or are already with... and the “inner game question”... which is about their own “mindset.”

And nearly every one is asking me WHAT to do... and almost everyone ignores the fact that underneath that question is really a question of WHERE that action comes from... what ATTITUDE and Inner Mindset do you have to have...?

In your case... what “inner mindset” do you have about your own... Masculine Confidence?

In other words... many men know  at the “outer game” level... that there are positive and  negative ways to handle situations... and on some level they usually figure out through “trial and error”... the understanding that helps them choose the “positive”... after many “negative” and painful situations with women.

Yet... there is another way of handling these situations... that comes from a WAY OF THINKING... your MINDSET... which comes from possessing TRUST and CONFIDENCE in your self and the power of your own MASCULINITY!

The men out there that are good with women are NO DIFFERENT from you in any way ... except ONE. 

WHAT they are thinking... their Masculine Mindset.

That is it.

So with that in mind... let us deal with both sides of your question. 

First... the Inner Mindset part of it...

I want to point out first... the classical “mistake in judgement” that we all make... and that is this... we honestly "think" that our situation is DIFFERENT because we see all sorts of details and mitigating factors that other people do not... so even when we know exactly WHAT to do... we do not do it because we think we are somehow "exempt" from the rules because our situation is "different" in some way.

For Example...

You are admitting there is some "one-itis" keeping you interested in this one woman... and if you know that... you also know that the solution is to “socially court” 3 other women and see if this one really is so important or special... you know that “obsession” is a dangerous thing.

And funny thing is this... you KNOW that this one woman would not be as interesting to you if you did the right thing and “courted” other women... yet the thing is... you do not want to... you actually WANT to stay in this drama because your brain enjoys the artificial high and stimulation the situation is giving you.

The fact is that human beings are FEELING CHASERS... and as men we are no different from women... we actually get a “chemical buzz” from the interaction with highly polarized women and women get the same kick from being with highly polarized men like this also... and so we get caught up in each others games.

The real core issue here though is this... WHY are you being so "reactive" to HER drama?

You see... a woman is most “attracted” to a man she cannot push around... the fact that she can modify your behaviour with HER behaviour gives her an element of control... I want to point out what you said at the end of your letter...

"She'd be a good girl if she could drop the drama..."

That' is like saying... 

"Yeah... it would be a great car if it was not leaking a quart of oil every day - and the transmission worked."

That classic statement is simply a RATIONALIZATION... a way of making excuses for my emotions keeping me in a losing situation... the car is NOT a great car... yet I am trying to make it one in my mind by “justification”... and a whole lot of “self delusion”... I WANT to make it a good car in my head... and it can never be that.

Do you see the “mind game” you are playing with yourself?

Do you see how emotions run you much more than you think?

And do you see why you cannot win in this way?

You can fix a car with a bunch of time... money... and effort.... and you cannot “fix a  woman”... to be the way you WANT her to be... only she can doing any “fixing” on herself... if and when she “decides” and “chooses” to do it.

Let me say that one more time to you...  You Cannot Fix WOMEN... have you considered that the very “drama” you are so “bugged” about... could be created by you “trying to fix her”... and the “drama” you meet... is her “resisting” your “manipulations”... have you ever “thought” of that?

You also asked me... 

"Do I approach her about it directly... or do I just move on with my life?"

This is a false dilemma... you can do BOTH.

Whether or not you like it... you are always moving on with your life... because  life is moving on... with or without you... it is just a matter of choosing to think like the "you" from last week... or the new and smarter "you"... that has evolved and matured and can let this stuff go.

So you can do BOTH... you can approach her directly about her interest... just do not do it to confront her... or to make her feel bad for her actions... just accept the nature of  who she is... simply go talk to her out of curiosity... do it about 25 minutes before you are scheduled to “meet up” with another woman... then just have some fun and see what you can do with the situation... and decide if you want to play this game... or move on to someone who is more of a woman.... stable... and better.

I have had girlfriends that acted all nice and cool when you were alone... and the moment other people come into the situation... become instant attention and drama whores.... this indicates a high level of "insecurity" and a low level of "self esteem."

The question you have to ask yourself...

“Do I want to be involved... with such a “high maintenance” women?”

Remember... no woman is a great woman unless she is ALREADY a Great WOMAN!  

You do not need any self help projects... unless you get your kicks in being “The White Knight”... and “rescuing” women from the tragedy of themselves.

Qualification of your prospects... is what will ultimately create a Great Relationship with a Great Woman for you... yet there is also something deeper here and that is about YOU? 

Do you want a GREAT WOMEN in YOUR Life and have a relationship with... or are YOU going to settle and “make do” with what you can get... the Drama Queens and low self esteem women? 

Because here is a simple little equation for you Grieg....

Low self esteem people attract low self esteem people.

High Self Esteem People Attract... High Self Esteem People! 

The moment YOU give away YOUR Masculine Power to a woman....YOU ARE LOST as a MAN!

She is wearing the trousers and YOU the apron!

Because it is YOUR Masculine Energy... Confidence... Sexuality that attracts her Femininity in the first place... and a GREAT Woman who is in her Feminine energy is in a different league than the rest.... and only a MASCULINE Man who is CONFIDENT in his own MASCULINE POWER... is going to know that!

Because when you ask how to act or what to say... this has to come from your own solid “mind set”... or she will see right through your act... the simple answer is that you must act with “confidence and power”... you are AUTHENTIC and conduct yourself with “integrity” as YOU... the strong... confident... masculine version of YOU.

So stop trying to “fix her”... be the “genuine man” with her... and you might see a very different side to her... if not and she continues to be the “drama queen”... well there are plenty more other women out there... move on.

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce



Are you one of those "jerk"... or... "Mr nice guy" men who is tempted to play “control games” with women to get what you want? 

The techniques and strategies I teach are not about more games... they are about how to drop them.... and how to build the confidence you want in every part of your life... to get REAL and AUTHENTIC as you.

A DYNAMIC MASCULINE MAN who is ATTRACTIVE to women... and ATTRACTS Women.... and is GENUINE with women... a Man who is MASTER of himself and his environment!

Now if you have not started learning yet I would really like to hear from you... or if there is something that you are waiting on to take a step down the path to “personal enrichment”... you can Contact me.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

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Ange is an  Author... Speaker... and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life and wealth! 


To Speak to Ange CLICK HERE



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