The Four Big Mistakes Of Social Skills

By Ange Fonce

Of all the questions about social intelligence I am asked, there are four big problems that come up over and over again.

Here is a quick lesson with those problems laid out to help boost your skills today!

Practicing Without Focus.

Social skills are... skills. 

Like any skill-set there are drills and techniques that help you learn the universal principles of the art form. 

One of the most common problems people run into is not practicing, and more than that, practicing without focus. 

Learning any skill is a step-by-step process, you cannot learn it all in one night. Choose some material you like and make plans to practice it, over and over again. Focus your practice nights and trust the material you are working with. 

If it is from me or Dalija, it is good material and with practice you will see results. 

Remember, anything with enough practice will feel natural, it just takes time and focus.

Believing It Is Your Fault.

If someone rejects you, then it is your fault and it is up to you to figure out how you slipped up and to work on solving whatever problem came up on your next attempt. 

This is why we always suggest keeping a social journal. 

They help students see where they are going wrong and often they point out patterns in the mistakes you are making. 

Do not get bent out of shape and start name calling because someone rejected you, just look at the situation objectively and then decide how you will deal with that situation next time to create a better outcome.

Taking Rejection Personally.

Most of the time you are not being rejected, it is a pattern that is being rejected. 

That pattern is people approaching and showing interest right away. If someone is approached and feels like the person walking up to them is trying to get something from them, the faster they will reject that person. 

Think about when you are approached by someone with a clipboard on the street... you assume that they want something from you and quickly reject the approach. 

This is no different in cold approaching someone you are interested in – if they think you are trying to take value they will instinctively reject you. 

To solve this problem, practice opening a conversation, with a focus on starting a comfortable conversation that is relaxed and feels good to you both.

Being Impatient.

It is pretty simple. Speed is sh*t, no body likes to feel stressed and pressured and timing is everything. 

People who are impatient come off as irritating, and desperate. 

There is no rush. Take your time to build value, focus on comfort, and realize that if you are able to convey that you are interesting enough, and you show curiosity in others, people will go out of their way to be around you.

Take these steps into consideration when you are out practicing and notice when you are slipping into one of these problems.

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Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

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Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving, Prosperous, and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Coach Ange

Qualified in Person-Centered Counselling, Personal Development, Accountability, Assessment, Strategy Coaching, and Psyco Sex Therapy and training in Advance Relationship Coaching.

Coach Dalija

Qualified in Accountability, Assessment, Strategy Coaching, and training in Advanced Relationship Coaching and completing her ICF accreditation.

Ange and Dalia are Dynamic Personal Development Coach's who work with those men and women who want to personally and powerfully develop their confidence, communication, relationships, sexing, health, and wealth!

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