The Evolution Of Relationship
By Ange Fonce
"It is only when we no longer compulsively need someone that we can have a real relationship with them."
~ Anthony Storr
An intimate relationship does not banish loneliness.
Only when we are comfortable with who we are can we truly function independently in a healthy way... that we can truly function within a relationship.
Two halves do not make a whole when it comes to a healthy relationship... it takes two wholes.
Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something.
They are trying to find someone who is going to make them feel good.
In reality... the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give and not a place that you go to take.
Most people enter into relationships with an eye toward what they can get out of them... rather than what they can invest into them.
The purpose of a relationship is to decide what part of yourself you would like to see "show up" not what part of another you can capture and hold.
The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you and to have another with whom you might share your completeness.
Your closest relationships are often the ones that have the most effect on you and they are frequently the ones with the most challenges.
These relationships are complex and have long histories.
Lifetime habits of avoiding being really present with each other may exist in many of them.
Family members for instance... might want to support you and will not necessarily know how to genuinely listen or be present with you in a way that is enlivening.
Even with the best intentions... it can be very difficult to get beyond the past and into the now.
You must first have a good relationship with yourself before you can have a good relationship with others.
You have to feel worthwhile and acceptable in your own eyes.
The more independent you are... the better you will be able to connect and relate with others.
When people say...
"We grew apart."
it is often a sign that when they entered the relationship... their emotional contract did not include this clause...
"I will let you grow... you will let me grow... we will learn from each other and we can grow together."
The key to long term relationships is letting someone be different today than they were yesterday.
I think one of the main reasons for divorce is that couples do not always create the emotional space between them to allow for constant and continuous change.
Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!
Yours Sincerely
Ange is an Author... Speaker... and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life and wealth!
Join today and become one of the Tribe... a DYNAMIC Lifer... and if you want to share or forward to a friend a writing... please go ahead... and let them know they can receive their own writings via e mail by directly joining The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers The DYNAMIC Express Magazine... I am sure they will appreciate your consideration of them.
Dynamic Life Development Systems
Personal Development Academy
