The DEADLY MISTAKES You Make That Kills Attraction When Social Courting
In The “Mating Game.” Part 1 

By Ange Fonce

What I have realized from coaching men and women from all around the world... is that most men and women make all kinds of "deadly mistakes" when "courting" the opposite sex that kills "attraction"... without even realizing it.

You really want to "study these mistakes" because quite often it is the fastest way to improve your results IMMEDIATELY... is to stop doing the little things that might be "sabotaging your interactions" when "courting" the opposite sex... and even the same sex.

Now let us get started…

MISTAKE 1... Making Your Move Before They Are Ready...

We have all been there… you have these "intense feeling" for a man or woman and you think...

“If they only knew how I felt they she would like me back.”

And if you are like most men and women you will have tried this and you realize it NEVER works in your favour... in fact the very act of telling them your "feelings" can be a huge "turn off" to a man or women... it is to much... to fast... to soon... it is "overwhelm" before "basic trust" has been established.

Would you like it if someone you hardly know come up to you and "vomited" all over you... NO... you would not be "impressed"... it would be the exact opposite... YUKK!

It is the same with offloading "emotions" on someone who hardly "knows" you... "emotional vomit"... the reaction will be "YUKK!"

It is much more effective when you "focus" on building TRUST first... then either you make the first move... or such is the level of "trust" that has been established... allows the other person to make the first move...  that way you can relax so when either of you "open up" the "emotional space"... it will be a "natural progression" because "basic trust" has been established.

A female client of mine said this to me in one of our "meet ups"...

“I would rather be IN LOVE with a man than BE LOVED by a man.”

It seems to be "counter intuitive"... yet when you have seen and "understood" the research on the "differences between men and women"... you realize it is simply part of our "evolutionary biological programming."

And here is an interesting fact from this research... women are MUCH more turned on and "attracted" to a man... when she is the one "working on attracting" a man... then when a man is trying to "attract" her... again this is "evolutionary biological programming"... the women is the one who ultimately selects the man she will "mate" with... not the other way around

MISTAKE  2... Focusing Too Much Energy On Your Physical Skills In The Bedroom

This usually is a huge insecurity for both men and women… and has a lot to do with past relationships... many years back I went through a bad breakup… and because my ex never told me the real reason her reasons for the breakup... back in those days I assumed it was related to my “performance” in the bedroom… I become pretty depressed about the whole thing and it really hurt my “personal confidence” and “esteem” at that time... it was when I REALLY started learning about the Dynamics of Relationships... that I "understood" that in so many ways I had it backwards. 

Yes both men and women enjoy the “physical” aspects of sex... yet there is so much more to it... the “emotional” and “psychological” connection is far more “important” then the “physical" alone... especially for women and when you work on building those “intimate” connections... physical sex becomes for more “intimate” and “connecting” and fulfilling.

MISTAKE 3... Thinking Attraction Is Based Mostly On Looks

Ever seen an average looking man with a smoking hot woman... or an average woman with a smoking hot man?

Of course you have… we have all seen it happen… and even though I have seen it lots over the years... until I learnt differently... I used to think that “attraction” was mostly about looks.... and yes while “physical looks” play a part in “attraction”... there is a lot more to it... your “personality type” plays a HUGE role in “attraction.”

Take for example...

Men... we see a hot woman with a great body and hell… we are ready to get married... and so “logically” we assume that “attraction” works the same exact way for women… and it does not... not by a long shot… in fact… if you have had a woman who liked you and then changed her mind because of what comes out of your mouth… it is basically the equivalent of being with a smoking hot woman who suddenly gets 30 years older and gains 100 pounds and grows a beard!

Yes... “personality”  is THAT important… there is no way on this earth I would ever go back to being young... stupid and naive again... I am happy being me now... a man with  a deep "understanding" of the female mind and female sexuality... than a tall athletic male model ANY DAY OF THE WEEK!

Sure... everything else being equal... a chiselled jawline and ripped abs will help... yet it is more like icing on the cake… without the actual cake there is only so much of it you can handle before you throw up!

Because let us face it… no matter how tall... ripped... shapely and physically attractive a man or woman is... they can be REPULSIVE if they do not have a basic “understanding” of the “psychology of attraction” and can say more than...

"I can lift heavy weights."

Intelligence... “emotional awareness” and “personality type” count for a lot in the “attraction and mating game”... more so than “physical attraction” alone.

MISTAKE 4... Chasing And Showing Too Much Interest...

There is a process to “seduction” that increases “attraction” between men and women... “flirting”... “teasing”... building “sexual tension”... are steps in the “seduction process” and both men and women engage in this “seduction dance” and when I use the word “chasing” it is very important that you understand what it means.

When you are talking about “social courting” that leads into a more exclusive... “personal courting” the meaning of  the word “chasing” is understood to mean EMOTIONAL chasing… so this could mean anything from calling or texting too much... buying unexpected gifts or even giving too many compliments… it is more about projecting a NEEDY ENERGY above anything else… it is something that both men and women can sense and feel... “insecure personal neediness” instead of “secure personal confidence!”

And instead of being “attracting” the energy projected is “repelling”... and trust me on this one... women especially are VERY sensitive to this type of thing... when a woman senses that you are CHASING HER... here is what goes on inside her mind...

“Ok... it is pretty obvious I have got this man wrapped around my finger... and yes he might be a decent man and because he is so available and I can have him whenever... I’m going to see what else is out there first…”

You have made yourself one of her OPTIONS… and let us face it... if she is an attractive woman... she WILL have “plenty of options”... and you will have fallen into the “needy nice guy trap” and binned in the “friend zone.”

Same goes for attractive powerful Masculine Men... they are never short of “options” when it comes to women... “needy nice women”... usually binned in the “friends zone.”

And a note here... you can be a “genuinely nice” man and woman and be incredibly “attractive” because you ooze “charisma”... being “personally dynamically confident” and not a “needy” people pleaser.

After getting to know many attractive women in my own life... I have realized something that would shock most men... the “average woman” has no less than  THREE men who are chasing her at any given time in her life… and if she is actively going out and meeting people... that number will be MUCH higher... so that puts some “perspective” on what an “average” woman gets in “attraction”... imagine what a “beautiful woman” gets in “attraction”... hit on ALL the time... and for a “highly attractive” man it is no different... women “hit on” him lots.

That is why it is so important for you to be the ONE that is so "valuable" and “attractive” that others are “attracted” to you... not “repelled” by you. 

MISTAKE 5... Not Understanding How Men And Women Think...

You probably already realize that men and women think VERY differently from one another… a man and woman can have two “completely different impressions” of the same “exact experience!”

I remember getting stuck in an elevator with a female friend once... and after we got out I realized that while I was like focused on “logical things” like how to get the doors open or how to get peoples attention if it was stuck for a long time… she was immersed in the “different emotions” of the “experience”... she was experiencing fear and at the same time... forming an “emotional bond” with me and the other couple in the elevator based on all of us sharing a scary situation together!

The point is... while most mens “thinking” is dominated by “logic” and “reason”... most womens mind is dominated and directed by EMOTION... and quite often... her own “thoughts” and “feelings” do not even make sense to HER!

That is why having a man who TRULY “understands” the “female mind” on a deep level is SO RARE AND VALUABLE to her… and it equally goes the same way for men too... having a woman who “gets you”... is like striking “gold!”

More to follow next week about the DEADLY MISTAKES You Make That Kills Attraction Part 2

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Recommended Reading...

The First 2 Minutes

By Ange Fonce

A man or woman will not fall for you because of your physical fitness or the kind of job you do.

He or she will fall for you because of the way you make them FEEL when they around you... and because you trigger that gut-level of intense emotional attraction in them.

If you know what this is... and how it works... you will realize how EFFORTLESS it can be to build a connection with that other person.

Engage Them One-On-One And Give Them The Space To Respond

Do you know that any man... or woman...c...

Ange is an  Author... Speaker... and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life and wealth! 


Join today and become one of the Tribe... a DYNAMIC Lifer... and if you want to share or forward to a friend a writing... please go ahead... and let them know they can receive their own writings via e mail by directly joining The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers The DYNAMIC Express Magazine... I am sure they will appreciate your consideration of them.

Dynamic Life Development Systems 

Personal Development Academy