The Attitude That Inspires A Man When Courting

By Ange Fonce?

Do you sometimes think that men could just be more HONEST with you?

Do you feel discouraged by courting because the men you meet actually LIE about what they want from courting and relationships... what their background is... what they do for a living and sometimes even lie about whether or not they are AVAILABLE?

To where sometimes you end up involved with a man who is already seriously courting another woman or worse... he is married?

Not good and if these are situations that you run into a little more than you would like... then keep reading because in this article I am about to reveal the "ATTITUDE" that actually inspires a man to be completely up front and honest with you about such things as...

If he is looking for something serious or casual

If he is seeing other people

If you are the kind of woman he is drawn to

If he is ready to "settle down" or not

As a matter of fact with this attitude... you may be able to get a man to reveal a lot more than he would ever reveal on his own without prompting and the ADDED BENEFIT of this is that he will feel more connected with you because he will feel he can tell you just about ANYTHING.

He will feel more attracted to you because he will feel more understood and appreciated by you... this attitude not only inspires honesty from a man... it makes him feel more connected to you at the same time.


If you are single and courting right now... this mind set or attitude can actually help you qualify the right man and avoid Mr. Wrong as early in the courting process as possible... perhaps even before you meet in person for the first time if you are online dating... and if you are in a relationship... it can help you get to the bottom of what he is thinking and feeling so you can know why he is withdrawing... if he is open to taking things to the next level or what is holding him back from fully committing to you... yet first there is a couple of fundamental questions that seems to bother a lot of women.

Why does this even have to be an issue anyway?

Why cannot a man just be up front and honest with you?

Why for example... is it so hard for a man to tell you why he is not calling as often or why he stopped asking you out... especially when he seemed so "into you" in the beginning?

You go out on a few meet ups with a man and you think everything is going great... then he stops calling and he does not respond to your emails or texts... it is like he has dropped off the face of the earth and YOU DO NOT KNOW WHY.

It is not that you are so particularly "heartbroken" about this... maybe you even realized that he was a nice enough man and you did not know him well enough yet to fall in love or anything... yet still you would like to know at least and hear WHY he stopped calling... stopped asking you out and stopped responding to your messages... you would at least like he could be HONEST with you.

It is no big deal... you can handle it... right?

Hmmm....perhaps and that is not how HE may be seeing things.

Why Men Will Lie To You

Imagine this scenario...

You are on a first or second meet up with a man and it is going really well.

You are laughing... you are having a great conversation and you seem to have a lot in common and it is almost scary how similar your attitudes are about certain things.

You feel an intense "chemistry" between you and he is staring at you with that "look" that tells you he is very attracted to you... he even talks about places he would like to take you to someday.

You are almost positive that this is the beginning of something meaningful with this man and a day or two goes by after the meet up and you do not hear from him... then a week... then two weeks and you send him a message... 

"Hey... have not heard from you in a while... how are you?"

And he does not respond... you never hear from him again... you beat yourself up analyzing everything you did and said on the meet up to see if maybe you accidentally put him off... then months later you find out the truth from someone else. 

During the time he was meeting up you... he was also meeting another woman and was now getting more "serious" with her.

You feel confused... disappointed and a bit annoyed that he did not just tell you the TRUTH about what was going on... why did he not tell you the truth... either before... during or after he went on a meet up with you?

The truth would have been a whole lot better than days or weeks WONDERING and beating yourself up over nothing... right? 

Of course it would... so why does a man lie to you... why does he avoid telling you the truth about a situation?

The answer is simple.

A man will lie to you because he hates confrontation.

He FEARS your emotional response... he fears your rejection of him... he fears that HE will not be able to "handle" your response... he is imagining that you are going to cry... scream... be disappointed... argue or complain... he fears being put on the spot or "attacked."

Understand... I am not saying you would do any of those things... I am just telling you what that man... who maybe does not know you all that well yet is thinking.

You may be a cool cucumber... totally able to maturely handle whatever he tells you... the fact is... it does not matter.

Somewhere in his past there was a woman or two who did in fact overwhelm him with her emotional response and it FREAKED him out.

He could have just said... 

"Hey... I am meeting another woman right now and I have decided that I want to get to know her better... I think you are great and I also feel that I want to give this other situation a chance."

Instead he tells you NOTHING... he avoids you... stops calling and hopes that he will not ever have to face your criticism and judgment... it is not a particularly mature and considerate thing to do... yet that is the reality of how it is with a lot of men... not all and definitely a lot... they do not even realize in the moment how YOU ARE feeling... all they know is that they have to do what they must do to avoid that confrontation they fear.

Despite this there is reason to be optimistic that you can create the space for a man to be honest with you with really no effort and here is something else you need to know... there is a "window of opportunity" for getting the most honesty right away so you can screen out the men who are Mr. Wrong from the start... be sure to know when that window is open for you and take advantage of it.

Why First And Second Meetups Are Critical Times For HONESTY

This is an interesting fact... a man will be MOST HONEST with you when he is NOT YET emotionally engaged or invested in your relationship yet.

In other words you can probably learn a LOT about a man on a first or second meet up when you are just getting to know each other... this is a time when he is not so afraid to share... because he is not afraid of disappointing you since you do not know each other well enough yet... this is when you should be listening VERY closely to what a man tells you.

This is when he will tell you things like... 

"I am just looking for something casual and fun right now... I just got out of a long term relationship and not into getting into the same situation anytime soon."

Or he might laugh and say... 

"I am a lifetime bachelor... settling down does not interest me in the least."

Or he might reveal some other dark secret... 

"My ex was an unhappy woman... always complaining about one thing or another about me."

And that is when you need to HEAR what he is saying and take him seriously... know what you are in for.

The man you choose is the man you get.


When you want to inspire honesty in a man... so that you let him know that he is "safe" when he shares with you... you have to have what I call the "Anything is OK" attitude.

Now this does not mean that anything is OK for a man to do and that you are supposed to accept anything he does and have no boundaries or limitations... the attitude is more like you thinking... 

"Anything is OK for you to share with me and I know what I will and will not tolerate in my life and what I want and you can TELL ME anything... I can handle it."

How do you communicate this attitude?


With the three little words...

"I am just curious."

It can go like this.

"Are you seeing anyone right now... I am just curious?"

"What kind of relationship are you looking for... I am just curious."

"What kind of woman do you most admire... I am just curious."

"Where do you see yourself in the next five years... I am just curious."

Using these three words not only lets a man know that you will be OK with whatever he tells you and that you are not needy or too aggressive and he can feel safe telling you just about anything.

Just do not stare at him holding your breath waiting for his answer... that defeats the purpose BIG TIME.

Here is the deal... it is not that a man is afraid of certain questions... it is just that the WAY a woman asks those questions makes him feel strange... if a woman warns... 

"You are not seeing anyone else right now... are you?" 

It almost automatically invites DISHONESTY in a man... if you want to inspire sincerity in a man... you must have the "Anything is OK" attitude and use those 3 powerful words to get the most honest response possible... that way you will not waste a lot of time going on meet ups with "unavailable" men... men who have skeletons in their closet or are not over their ex or are actually interested in a different kind of relationship than you are.

I know that the easiest way to help you find and connect with a GOOD man is to help you develop the skills to get the most honesty possible from a man and then know what it takes for a man to feel deeply in love with you.

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Intellectual Badass... noun

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

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3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist... Sexologist and Multipreneur!... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

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