The Amazing State Of  "I Don't Know?”

Is A State Full Of Opportunity!


By Ange Fonce


I have often heard from people that after a powerful opening glimpse of the unimaginable experience of their being... the demons of the past seem to arise more strongly than ever. 

Rather than the openness and innocence of... 

"What is this now?" 

The response is often something like... 

"Why is this bothering me again?" 

“Why don't these things just disappear?" 

“What is wrong with me that I don't experience personal freedom?" 

On one hand... there is misery and suffering of a closed mind and on the other hand the authenticity and openness of mind. 

As so often as it is in both men and women... it is the former closed mindfulness that is the greater state of their awareness then the latter open mindfulness in the polarity of their mind... in other words more towards the negative... pessimistic mindset then the positive... optimistic mindset.

Authenticity is the innate capacity to openly meet whatever is appearing when it appears and to seek to “understand” it truthfully for what it is. 

I guarantee that almost everything is not what it appears to be on the surface and in order to discover a deeper understanding... what appears must be met fully in authenticity the natural state of openness of not knowing.

Being authentic is the capacity to directly experience what is here right now without any demands that make you act... behave or feel differently.

Authenticity is openness the willingness to see and to trust even if what appears first seems absolutely untrustworthy... authenticity is not naivete... and it involves vulnerability... the willingness to learn... to know... to understand and the willingness to be possibly hurt and going through pain in knowing and understanding... this willingness to be vulnerable is part of what being authentic means. 

Vulnerability takes more courage than being cynical... strong or powerful... it takes courage to be open and willing to be hurt in growing... knowing and understanding because of the nature of extremely close relationships... especially between parents... children... lovers and partners... hurt and pain is often experienced. 

So what you may ask? 

Hurt may feel like the end of the world and yet no matter how painful the hurt is...  it is not the end of the world... hurt hurts... the degree to which you are willing to be hurt or not wanting to be hurt is the degree to which you are willing to grow... know... understand... love and be loved and experience everything else in the place of “I don't know.” 




“I Don't Know.” 


Can be your teacher... though it never teaches withdrawal from experiencing hurt... other people are not the source of your hurt... the source of hurt is the fact that you “don't know"... trust the fact that you “don't know” if “not knowing” is to hurt you then let it hurt you fully... let it annihilate you... let your mind break open so that an even deeper understanding can be revealed.

Almost everything we do is to avoid vulnerability... we dress up in grown up clothes and play at doing grown up work in an attempt to escape the defenceless innocence associated with childhood... yet innocence is not limited to children... it is possible for you as an adult to be consciously vulnerable and authentic? 

You can consciously hurt... you can consciously suffer... when you suffer consciously... suffering is revealed not to be what you thought if suffering is met when and as it appears... then suffering is discovered not to be suffering.... the intention is not to meet suffering to get rid of it... the authentic intention is to meet suffering as it is... to understand how much of your hurt is “real” and how much of your hurt is “imagined”... even if it means feeling hurt to understand.

Most people are more afraid of having their feelings hurt more than they are of having their bodies hurt... yet the willingness to be hurt is crucial in healing and opening mindfulness...  without the willingness to be hurt there is no willingness to love... no willingness to live... no willingness to be authentic... no willingness to know... no willingness to UNDERSTAND!

It is easy to see from your own life experience that no matter how much you try to run away from hurt... you still experience it.... to stop the running turn and experience what is chasing you... to open unprotected... to understand... you have to be willing to be free from closed mindfulness... locked in because of your pain... hurts and fears. 

Are you willing to be free... are you willing to open your mind to understand just how much your hurts... pain and fears are REAL and how much of your hurts... pain and fears are IMAGINED?

You can examine your life and see for yourself what you are running from... what you are trying to escape from?

It may be very subtle... yet just in the seeing of it there is the possibility of a deeper opening and understanding of yourself.

When I have worked with people professionally I often hear this statement... 

"I want Love and Respect more than anything else... why don't I have it?"

When you honestly want love and respect more than anything else... you realize it is already here... people do not realize and understand it is already here... only because they want it on their own terms.

Look into your life and see what stands in the way of fully and permanently realizing the fullness of your being... see if perhaps you find the mindset of having it your way... on your terms... not wanting to feel this or to see that or to know and understand your life and reality as it actually is... your own closed mindfulness is actually blocking you... then see if it is actually possible to feel it... to know it... to experience it and understand  what is “blocking” you?

As a gateway to the experience of being authentic and as a means of opening to vulnerability and the authenticity of “I don't know”... you can ask yourself this question...

"What hurt am I unwilling to experience?" 

Do not look for the right answer or deceive yourself... simply open to what this kind of inquiry can reveal... the intention is not to fix or change the hurt... just to see what is real and what is imagined?

Can you sense the energy it takes to avoid feelings of hurt? 

Review the ways you try to avoid hurt... what habits of mind you use to avoid it... be willing to see the repeating patterns and to experience the price you pay for the avoidance... the time and energy you spend in avoidance. 

Just in this moment... what if you simply open to it all... avoiding nothing... welcoming all... are you willing to trust yourself that in that place of “I don't know”... can you live through your hurt and pain? 

If you are willing... then you will taste the possibility of living a life of conscious authenticity... this is possible for everyone when you are willing to accept the possibilities of “I don't know”... instead of seeking control of everything... “I don't know” can open you up to experience the fullness of who you want to be. 

Once you focus on letting go of controlling... hurt... fear... pain and focus on Mastering the only thing you can Master... the open mindfulness of knowing and understanding YOU!

I know you will to start experiencing and understanding life like you have never experienced or understood before.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely




Intellectual Badass... noun

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright kick arse person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life and wealth! 


To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation  CLICK HERE





"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future!"



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