On Thinking And Feeling Like A Failure
By Ange Fonce
Feeling like a failure has little correlation with actually failing.
There are people who have failed more times than you and I can count... who are happily continuing in their work and in their lives.
There are others who have achieved more than most of us can imagine... who go to work each day feeling inadequate... behind and yes like failures and frauds.
These are not cases of extraordinary outliers.
In fact external data is almost useless in figuring out whether or not someone is going to adopt the narrative of being a failure.
Failure as seen from the outside is an event.
It is a moment when the spec is not met... when a project is not completed as planned or when a goal is not acquired or when a relationship ends.
Feelings on the other hand and thoughts are often persistent and they are based on stories.
Stories we tell ourselves as much as stories the world tells us.
As a result if you want to have a feeling... you will have it.
If you want to seek a thread to unravel you will... you will pull at it and focus on it until in fact you have proven yourself right... you are a failure.
Here Is The Essential First Step
Stop engaging with the false theory that the best way to stop feeling like a failure is to succeed.
Thinking of ones self as a failure is not the same as failing.
And thus succeeding is not the antidote.
In fact if you act on this misconception... you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of new evidence that you are in fact correct in your feelings... because you will ignore the wins and remind yourself daily of the losses.
Instead begin with the idea that the best way to deal with a feeling is to realize that it is yours... your feeling and yours alone.
And feelings have nothing to do with actual failing.
Thinking of feelings is just that... thinking constantly of feelings has nothing to do with success or failure.
You are just constantly reminding yourself... how bad you feel.
Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?
I would love to hear from you.
Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!
Yours Sincerely
Intellectual Badass... noun
1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.
2... A bright kick arse person and glamorously Intelligent!
3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth!
4... If you are Happy and you Know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!
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"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future!"
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