Non Verbal Communication What Does It Say About You?

By Ange Fonce

Body language is obviously a huge part of social intelligence. 

Unfortunately, it is such a huge topic that it is hard to tell where to start.

Remember, when you are learning something new you want to start with the basics; something that you can practice many times, to start understanding the principles behind the art.

One of the best places to start with body language is... 


Handshakes can easily be practiced, and since they are such a common gesture, they should be.

Next time you are going to shake hands, try to be conscious of how you are shaking and how they are responding.

Figure out what you can do to improve your handshakes.

Think about how often handshakes come up when you are interacting with someone new, and you will understand why they are so important to work on.

Every handshake says something about you. Which means every handshake is an opportunity to express identity and build value.

When I first started studying social intelligence, I used handshakes as a routine – kind of like a cold read. I would say... 

“I want to shake each of your hands, I will tell you why in a minute.”

Then after shaking hands, I wouldd explain that was studying body language, and I would tell them the impressions I got from each of their handshakes. Sometimes, I would teach the group how to improve them.

Here are a few tips you can use to improve your handshakes and get started in learning body language:


Do not shake with a limp hand. 

Instead, squeeze enough for them to know you are there, yet do not break their hand.


Do not hang on too long, and do not let go quickly either.  

When you shake, make eye contact long enough to say their eye color in your head, and then release. Not only will this improve your handshake, it will also help you improve your eye contact habits.

The Other Hand...

There are many different techniques that can be employed with the other hand, the basic guideline is this... 

Keep it out of your pocket and keep it unclenched.

The Shake...

Do not make an up and down motion unless the other person initiates it. 

If they do, then reciprocate. Just remember, it is always up and down.

The Anti-shake...

Well, this really is not a handshake yet it is such a good little routine.

When you are being introduced to a group of people, and you are going down the line shaking hands... wait to shake hands with the person you are interested in until last.

When they stick out their hand to shake, stare at it for a moment, and shrug. 

Give it a second. Then smile and reach your hand out for a shake. It is a great little tease that will create an emotional spike.

Working on your handshakes may seem like a small piece of the puzzle, and by starting here and paying attention to little changes and trying to read them, you will be on your way to improve your awareness for body language.

As you continue to work on your social intelligence, you may want to have an understanding of the patterns that these interactions tend to have, and a quick way to remember where you are when you are out meeting people. 

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

Please comment below.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving, Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Coach Ange Fonce

Ange is an Dynamic Personal Development Coach who works with those men and women who want to personally and powerfully develop their confidence, relationships, sexing, health and wealth!

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