No One Sets Out To Be Unreasonable
By Ange Fonce
No one sets out to say...
"I am going to be unfair to this person today... brutal in fact... even though they do not deserve it or its not helpful to anyone."
Few people say...
"I know that this person signed the contract and did the work what they promised and I am going to rip them off... just because I can."
And it is quite rare to have someone say...
"I am a selfish narcissist and everyone should revolve around me merely because I said so."
In fact all of us have a narrative and it is the story we tell ourselves about how we got here... what we are building... what our urgencies are.
And within that narrative... we act in a way that seems reasonable to ourselves.
To be clear... this narrative is not true and it is merely our version... our own self talk about what is going on in our own personal world.
It is the excuses and perceptions and history we have woven together to get through the world... it is our grievances and our perception of privilege... our grudges and our loves.
No one is unreasonable or to be more accurate... no one thinks that they are being unreasonable... they think and feel they are being totally reasonable in their world.
That is why we almost never respond well when someone points out how unreasonable we are being and we do not see it because our narrative of the world around us will not allow us to... our worldview makes it really difficult to be empathetic because seeing the world through the eyes of someone else takes so much effort.
It is certainly possible to change someones narrative and it takes time and patience and leverage.
Teaching a new narrative is hard essential work and something that is difficult to do at scale.
In the short run our ability to treat different people differently means that we can seek out people who have a narrative that causes them to engage with us in reasonable ways.
When we open the door for these people we are far more likely to create the impact that we seek.
No one thinks they are unreasonable and you certainly do not have to work with the people who are.
And if you are someone who finds that your narrative is not helping you make the impact you seek... best to look hard at your narrative and the way you justify your unreasonableness... not the world outside.
Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?
I would love to hear from you.
Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!
Yours Sincerely
Intellectual Badass... noun
1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.
2... A bright kick arse person and glamorously Intelligent!
3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth!
4... If you are Happy and you Know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!
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"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future!"
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