Mr Or Miss MAYBE?

By Ange Fonce

I am not sure where exactly it happened... somewhere along the way our culture decided that "dating" was synonymous with "having sex." 

At the very least it is viewed as such in the narrow minds of enough of the general population to keep tons of self conscious men and women all over the fruited plain from seeing more than one person at a time.

And because that is the prevailing mindset... that is the way most men and women operate is understandable... after all... women tend to be more than just a little protective of their reputations.

Meanwhile on the mens side... there is a deep seated fear of being branded a "player" often easily rooted out by a few well placed questions from a woman on a first "date?"

Myself... personally... I much prefer the French word... "gigolo" then player... it has more panache and style to it.... plus it is a very different Mind Set!

So Where Does All This Fear Lead To? 

Most men and women tend to date one person at a time... sometimes for months or even years... only to ultimately decide that the person they are with is not... The One.

So my question is a simple one. 

How in the world is a man or woman... supposed to effectively figure out what he or she even really wants from "Mr. or Miss. Right"... when he or she is burning so much time hanging out with "Mr. or Mrs. Maybe?"

And can we change our collective mindset to one where "courting" several people at once is not only acceptable... it is preferable?

For starters... I think it is time to broaden your perspective... I think it is time for a real live re evaluation of exactly what "dating" is to be for.

Now... first of all... let me clarify what dating should not be... 

It must not necessarily be "practice marriage" especially not on the first "date" or shortly thereafter... when you are looking at every date as a potential "marriage interview" I am not surprised you run into frustrating awkward moments out there.

Second of all... dating does not have to be placed in a box with a particular label on it and be a "formula approach" to everyone you meet... not by any stretch of the imagination... when you are into high pressure formal mood killers like "Ye Olde Dinner And A Movie" allow me to teleport you to the 21st century. 

Social Courting... is more interactive... FUN... with plenty of opportunities to ACTUALLY get to KNOW each other... after all... let us face it here... unless you are trying to intentionally limit your potential "mating pool" to people you work with or those whom your mother and father sets you up with.

The... "getting to know you"... part is going to be paramount and crucial for further down the line... a potential "committed" and "intimate" relationship. 

And with literally everyone jumping on the online  and real world dating bandwagon these days... who in their right mind is still relying on "dipping their pen in the ink" to find out if the "pen" can actually "write"  with the ink on the paper?

There Are Approx 3 Billion Members Of The Opposite Sex Out There.

And many of them are single... so what about courting? 

Consider this...

When you meet someone you have been talking to online... cannot even really be considered as dating if you think about it... you are just "talking" on line... yet how many men and women consider themselves to be "dating" or even in a "relationship" with someone they have not even met for REAL in the REAL LIVE world?

You will be amazed how many men  and women are "living" this fantasy as being real!

After all... you must be meeting a man or woman "socially courting" to figure out if there is any basic "attractiongoing on there to build on first... that is it... no stress... no strain and certainly such meetings are without the necessity that any sexing is going to be taking place.. right there in Starbucks. 

Now if the "attraction" is be it... my point is that this is not even really "courting" you are just "meeting up" and beginning to get to KNOW each other as REAL PEOPLE!

And how about if there ARE sparks... should there be instant wedding plans... it sounds silly to even contemplate... right?

And yet that is EXACTLY what is going on in the minds of many men and women who are lost in a fantasy world off... INSTANT RELATIONSHIPS... the "I want it now" syndrome... based purely on animal chemistry! 

Ultimately... I would recommend LOTS of courting with lots of meet ups with many different men or women before entering into an exclusive relationship with someone.

There Are 2 Great Reasons For This.

First... life is too short to evaluate potential partners one at a time... "social courting" and interacting with numerous people gives you an opportunity to find out what your real preferences are when it comes to either sex... as opposed to your pre conceived ones. 

And amazingly... it is uncanny how having several options when it comes to your mixed company social life begets amazing CONFIDENCE... you do not cling so desperately to each individual "opportunity" and therefore you become so much more attractive to others in general... nothing succeeds like success... right?

Second... exclusive relationships should be meaningful... why cheapen the experience by giving sex away so quickly... as so many men and especially women do! 

Invest the TIME to get to know someone fully before selecting that person to the exclusion of all others... make exclusivity really count... if you choose to love one SPECIAL man or woman... be sure you genuinely do LIKE them and LOVE BIG.

Explain your philosophy to anyone you are "courting" who appears to be pressuring you into exclusivity too quickly... be honest with the men and women you meet along the way and rest assured that it will typically result in real respect and even heightened attraction.

Now that sounds to me like the path of men and women with real depth... awareness... authenticity... and maturity of any age.
And I do not see any downside to that... do you?

May you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic Day!

Yours Sincerely

Ange is an  Author... Speaker... and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life and wealth! 

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