LIAR LIAR Your Pants are on Fire

By Ange Fonce

"The people that people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the people they detest the most violently are those who try to tell them the truth." ~ H L Mencken

We all know liars. 

And the truth is the vast majority of us become liars from time to time. 

Sometimes the lying seems very necessary and we lie to spare someone else hurt feelings or we lie to help someone else out of a jam or we lie because the lie is so minor that it is not going to affect anyone negatively and will affect us positively so it seems to be quite justified. 

And who is to say it is not justified? 

Sometimes we even lie because someone else is demanding information from us and we know that that person does not deserve to know the information or will use it in harmful ways once he or she gets it... so we tell that person something other than the truth

What Is Truth? 

Pilate asks Jesus and in the rock opera Jesus Christ Superstar the question is taken even further...

And what is truth... is truth unchanging law... we both have truths are mine the same as yours?"

Truth is both objective and subjective... truth can be deeply personal or something that many agree apon.

Yet there are people in this world who lie to harm... there are others who lie habitually seemingly unable or unwilling to tell the truth

Most people do their best to tell the truth as they know it and find it difficult to lie yet end up doing so when circumstances seem to demand it like when they need to save face or protect themselves from punishment. 

The first type of person is best dealt with under the topic of meanness while the second type is best left to the psychologist. 

It is the third type of lying that belongs here for that is the type that keeps you from enjoying your days for all that they are worth... an aberration in your behaviour that pulls you down and makes you feel horrible and that causes fear that was not there before and has the potential to harm relationships that mean a great deal to you.

Lying pulls us down for when we do not tell the truth we are bowing to pressure of some sort and we are no longer acting in a way that is natural to us... we are being forced by circumstance to do something that we would not consider doing. 

Worse that something is one of the things that we get upset at when people do it to us... so we start to see ourselves as hypocrites... we lose control of the situation and we are now reacting out of fear instead of responding with considered reason and we are deceiving others who probably do not deserve to be deceived. 

We are harder on ourselves than we are on others usually and when we lie we start to see ourselves in exaggerated terms and we start to see the lie as much bigger than it actually is. 

Worse still we start to focus on the lie and the action we took that was an aberration... instead of focusing on the more positive aspects of the world and people around us. 

Often we become obsessed until we come clean and admit the lie... apologize for it and start the process of putting it in our past.

Once we start fearing being found out... there is no way that we can get the most out of life as we spend and waste our time worrying about discovery and the inevitable confrontation that will expose us as people who are willing to lie and who cannot be trusted. 

Of course most people will not judge us so harshly that they will never trust us again... yet when fear enters our minds all things grow out of their realistic proportions. 

I just read an essay by a man who was remembering the time when he stole a pie as a child and then covered his tracks by lying. 

The effect on him was drastic as he had not only the theft to deal with emotionally and also the lying afterwards plus the fear of being discovered as the thief and the ensuing lies being uncovered.

I often hear people say and I say it myself that I would much rather have someone tell me a painful truth than have someone lie to me and to have me find out about the lie later. 

When we deal with children we prefer to have them tell the truth and get in a bit of trouble than to lie and get in a lot of trouble now for the original act and for the lie. 

This is because something happens in a relationship once someone lies to the other person... one person is now hiding something and the other loses trust and trust is the foundation and one of the most important aspects of any relationship... the person who is lying is bringing dishonesty and suspicion and fear into the relationship and these are all extremely damaging elements that will destroy any relationship and interestingly enough one lie leads to another as the liar tries to cover his or her lie with more lies and once the other person starts to feel the suspicion... what happens to trust? 

The person being lied to usually wants to trust the other and the liar wants to be trusted yet knows that he or she does not deserve the trust and it is a vicious circle from which there is no escape except telling the truth... a painful remedy that many people are not willing to face and they would rather have the relationship end than tell a truth that may harm them by exposing their actions and their dishonesty.

For my part I learned long ago the hard way that it is much better to be truthful from the very beginning even if the results for me are not all that positive and I also decide on actions that will not put me in a position in which I will have to lie to someone in the future. 

I know that telling the truth is widely regarded as honourable and just and I have no fear of taking responsibility for my actions and I would rather be slammed for being honest than be promoted as a result of dishonesty for though in the latter case others may feel good about me... I will feel horrible about myself. 

And how can I live life fully if I do not feel authentic about myself and conduct myself with integrity?

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Dynamic Lifer... The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist... Sexologist and Multipreneur... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

4... If you are Happy and you Know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!

To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation for what you would like help with CLICK HERE

"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future!"

Join us today and become one of The Tribe... a DYNAMIC Lifer and if you want to share with a friend a writing... please go ahead and let them know they can receive their own writings via e mail by directly joining The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers...I am sure they will appreciate your consideration of them.