It Was Not Her It Was Me All Along 

By Ange Fonce

"The Management Assumes No Responsibility For What Is Found." ~ Abraham Maslow.

There are many occasions when we would like to blame somebody... the wife... the husband... the children... our parentor the boss for "the management" for our "feelings."

When we get frustrated... overworked... or angry... we want somebody else to take "responsibility."

In truth... each of us has his or her own path and is "responsible" for his or hers own "feelings" and "thoughts."

One of my male clients said to me recently in a coaching session... that living alone made it clear to him that his wife was not "creating his feelings" and "stress"... he was! 

When he realised that he stopped holding his wife "responsible" and blaming her.

This blaming and not taking "responsibility" kept him in the role of being a "victim"... and eventually the ruining and ending of his "relationship" with his now ex wife.

When you accept the difficult message that your "feelings" and "thoughts" are yours to deal with and no one elses... "personal development" and "personal awareness" begins.

You begin to walk the difficult and "self respecting" path of "personal growth."

You can do something about what hurts and what you "feel is unfair."

Personal development is a continuing process of growing "personal awareness."

The first step is to take "personal responsibility" for your self and deal with the "realities" of your own life.

And develop that inner Trust and Confidence that you are more than capable of being "responsible" for yourself... and the direction and conduct of your life.

So What Do You Really Want?

Let us say... you are going on that three month vacation that you have been planning for over a year. 

You have been marking off the days on your calendar.

Your imagination take you to the sights... sounds and smells of this special place. 

You have been planning every detail... making sure that everything is taken care of. 

Nothing is going to get in the way of you getting on that plane.

Your Vacation Or Your Life?

Planning your vacations is usually easy for you... and yet you have a harder time figuring out "what" you "really want" to do in life. 

When it comes to your life... you do not ask yourself many "questions" about what you "really want" and "how" you desire you life to be.

You are usually somewhere between Shanghai La and Never Never Land.

Why Is That?

Because it means you taking RESPONSIBILITY for making your own life HAPPEN... and for many men and women... that is really scary! 

You do not "invest" as much "time energy" and "attention" into "defining" your goals... "designing" your life to be HOW you want it to be... so nothing ever really turns into "reality"... and you just make do with what comes along and HAPPENS to you. 

The way you make your desires REAL... is by constantly asking yourself "questions" that "clarify" your "wants" and "ultimately" bring you closer to your "ultimate life vision." 

You first have to see "your target" of where you want to be before you can hit it. 

Hitting YOUR Target... 

Drying the sweat on your palms... you have the target in your sights... there is no way you are going to let this clown mouth off one more second... he is going in the water. 

Your friends are counting on you... none of them were able to dunk that clown.

Everything around you goes silent... your "mind is focused"... all you can see is the red dot at the centre of the target... you take a deep breath... wind up and let the ball fly. 

You "knew" before you let go of the ball... that this time that clown was going to get wet. 

You are hoisted up by your friends in celebration of your victory.

Do you "trust" you would have hit your target with your eyes closed? 

Maybe... and not likely. 

What is "important" that you realize though... is that before you even let go of the ball... you had "selected" something to hit. 

You "focused your mind"... telling it what you wanted to hit and you hit it.

The clearer target you have... the more likely it will be that you will hit it. 

The more you "define" your goals... the more you "know" your desires... the more you "structure" your projects... the easier it will be for you to "acquire" them. 

The First Step And What To Do Next...

Start by asking yourself the most obvious question of all... 

"What do you really... really want?"

Write it out... carry it around with you... paste it on your bathroom mirror... make it so you are always "reminded" of this everywhere you go. 

What Happens Then? 

As "time" is "invested"... your "real desires" get clearer... the path "forward" opens up to you. 

Your words may change over time... yet your "thoughts" will always be "focused" on what you want... and that makes it "incredibly powerful." 

Your first answers may be pretty fuzzy... they usually are at the beginning. 

Here are some "questions" to help you bring your "real desires" into "focus"...

  • If you could have what you want... just the way you want it... what would that do for you?
  • What would be the best part about it?
  • How could you make this goal more specific or measurable?
  • What would you do... if you were certain that you could not fail?
  • Can you do it... do you possess the ability?
  • Is it the right time for you to achieve this goal and fulfill this desire?
Life is what you are living... and your life is constantly "transforming" and "evolving"... moving along and we all have to deal with that. 

At any unexpected turn... things may change... you may change... it is part of life. 

Your goals and desires are therefore always subject to change... and that is just fine... it is the way it should be... for any Dynamic man and woman! 

A constant "evolution" of "personal development" and "personal awareness" and "creating" your life as you want it to be. 

Defining what you want is something that you will work on for the rest of your life.

It is a "dynamic process" where you will constantly... define... refine... understand and clarify what you need to do in order to get what you really want.

That is the "natural focus" of a DYNAMIC man and woman!

Creating the LIFE you want to live.

As always... leave a man or woman all the "better" for "knowing" you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Ange is an  Author... Speaker... Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... who works with men and women on line and real world who desire to "personally develop" themselves and their "relationships" to become Dynamic Lifers... "creators" of their own life and wealth!

Recommended Reading...

How Do You Handle Lifes Curve Balls 

By Ange Fonce

It is amazing how “one moment” in “time” can “change” everything... you are living your life... expecting it to continue in a particular way... then suddenly out of the blue... in the blink of an eye... with one “life curve ball” and the “choice” you make in “reaction” to that “life curve ball” and  everything can dramatically “change”... and it could seem a “good change” or it could seem a “bad change”.....

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