"I saw a beggar leaning on his wooden crutch, He said to me, "You must not ask for so much." And a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door, She cried to me, "Hey, why not ask for more?" Taken From... "Bird On A Wire" ~ Leonard Cohen
The answer to this took me a while to realize... because it is so obvious... that many people are far more comfortable with "no."
The easiest... and safest option is to accept what you have been "given"... fate... karma... destiny... or what ever you want to call it... to assume that you are unchangeable... and the cards you have been dealt with... are all that are available to you.
When you assume this... all the responsibility for outcomes in your life disappears... and you can relax... fool yourself that somehow... some kind of... "magic"... will sort everything out for you.
You can be lazy... and not responsible for your own life... love... wealth... and happiness... and when things do not work out... the is always something... or someone else to blame.
Never you... the RESPONSIBILITY... never rests with you... the invisible friend is always there to... "kick"... and blame.
When I meet men... and women who proudly tell me that they do not read... their term not mine... "self-help"... books or listen to their CD... Ipod programs... because they are fully set... and know it all... or some kind of... invisible friend"... has it all under control... I am surprised.
First... because all help is self help... except... perhaps... for any type of major surgery... and the woman... or possible man these days... at the make-up counter of your major department store.
Yet even this sort of help requires that you show up for it.
Mostly... though... I am surprised because there is just so much evidence to the contrary.
Fear... once again fear... is always the driving force here.
If you accept the results... the outcomes you have experienced before... when you hold on to them tightly... then you never have to face the fear of the void... of losing what you have got.
Because really what have you got... you have got a lot of... "make do"... accepting what you have been given.
You have traded in your success... for your failure.
And if you want to do this to yourself... accept... "make do"... well... I guess this is your choice.
Yet do not do it to others.
Do not do it to your children.
Do not do it to your students.
Do not do it to your co-workers.
Do not do it to your friends.
Do not do it to the people in underprivileged neighbourhoods... or entire countries.
And most of all... do not do it to your lover who has invested themselves in being in a relationship with you.
Better is difficult... better does involve hard work... better does involve overcoming unfair barriers... better does involve taking RESPONSIBILITY for yourself... and better is definitely possible.
And the trust that better is possible is a beautiful gift.
So do not steal away another's gift... because you have accepted... make do.
When you are striving for BETTER... you owe everyone around you not just the strongest foundation you can afford to offer... also the optimism that they too can reach a little higher... to write off people because you do not think getting better is comfortable enough for you... is sad indeed that you will steal away their beautiful gift... it makes you the... destroyer of other peoples... better!
Better is not only a worthy personal goal to acquire... it is a worthy goal to enable others to acquire too.
You do not have to make do.
Always go for the WIN-WIN.
You Win and others Win with you... or no deal.
Never accept... make do.
May You Enjoy A Prosperous And Productive Day!
Yours Sincerely
Ange Fonce
