Influence Is Power To Persuade

By Ange Fonce

How do you get others to do what you would like them to?

Using no arm twisting... emotional blackmail... threats... or other slimy tricks.

There is a lot to becoming a Mastrer Persuader and Influencer... and getting people to do what you want? 

You too can be... all it takes is "learning... practice" and "desire."

I know this from personal experience... I have learned a lot of things over the years about people... especially the men and women I work with.

They are mostly "brilliant"... they are "creative" and "articulate"... accustomed to living literally "independently"... they are for the most part... "outsiders"... they are "self motivated... self directed"... and not inclined to go with the flow... or else they would be average... they are "individualistic" and can be a handful. 

And here I am... Coaching them... for them to follow my lead.... and sometimes to set aside their strongly held opinions for the good of the Coaching process.... I could not do that... if I had not learned a few things over the years about "how" to get men and women on my side.

So here are... 10 Simple Ways To Influencing Absolutely Anyone 

1... Give then the power of really... LISTENING...

Even if you already know what people are going to say,... and even if there is no way you can do what they want... start by "listening"... being "listened to" is one of the things they want... that is true of just about everyone.

2... Give them the power of open questions to build... RAPPORT...

Not only because everyone wants to be "listened to"... careful "questioning" will help you determine what people really want... which is often very different from what they say they want... it will also tell you what they have to offer.

3... Give them the power in building the human-to-human connection of... SHARED EXPERIENCES...

Look for ways to "connect" that have nothing to do with the issues at hand... maybe they have children the same age as yours... or they live somewhere you have vacationed... or you share the same hobby or interests... even if none of that is true... you can still make lots of "connections" on the basis of "universal experiences." 

4... Give them the power of being... HUMAN...

It is always tough to know just how much of your personal life it is okay to "share" in any context... many people err on the side of caution by sharing little or nothing about themselves... instead... decide what you feel comfortable having other people know... and then give them a few details... you will make other people feel safer and engage their human side... I personally have no problems sharing my "vulnerabilities"... as "empathy" is a very powerful tool in the "persuasion" and "influence" process. 

5... Give them the power off... THANK YOU...

Think hard about who has helped you or put him or herself out in helping you... and make sure to thank him or her... that makes it much likelier he or she will put him or herself out again to help you next time.

6... Give them the power of... APPRECIATION...

Most of us never get enough "praise" for the things we work hard to do... so if you want to "influence" someone... make sure you let them know what he or she has done well and how he or she has contributed to your organization or your well being... "genuinely appreciate" what they have done for you... and give them recognition it in public if you can.

7... Give them the power of... APOLOGY...

If you hate "apologizing"... get over it.... an "apology" is one of the most "powerful tools" you have for "winning" people to your side... if a decision you made caused someone inconvenience or upset... take "responsibility" for your "actions" and "apologise"... an "apology" lets him or her know that you "care"... that is true even if you do not regret the decision itself.... only the harm it caused him or her.

A word of caution here... do not ever "apologize... praise" or "thank" unless it is "authentic" and "sincerely how you feel"... people can tell when you are faking it... and your "credibility" and "trustworthiness" will be trashed

8... Give them the power of... SERVICE...

In LEADING others... you SERVE others... strive to give people what they want.

Obviously... this is not always an option... and if you can figure out what people really want or need... make sure they get it,.. they will be that much more likely to "reciprocate"... and give you what you would like from them in return

9... Give them the power of...  RESPECT...

Sometimes you know that someone would be disastrously bad at something he or she wants... do you say so? 

Unless you are giving him or her feedback with a view to his or her "growing" and "personal development"... do not... "constructive criticism" is helpful... destructive criticism is just that... destructive... you would be wiser in giving that person a more palatable out... where their "confidence" and "self esteem" grows.

10... Give them the power of your... TIME...

Pick up the phone... better yet... use the PERSONAL TOUCH!

Do you find yourself getting and making a lot fewer phone calls than you used to... and actually speaking to people face to face?

With email... text... social media... business... I sometimes do... and there are times when a phone call or face to face "communication" makes a big difference... one of those is if you have disappointing news to deliver... another is if you are asking someone to take on a bigger role or added responsibility.

On the phone and face to face... you can "answer any questions" he or she has... or "listen" to any venting he or she may need to do in real time... you have stepped away from your other duties to spend time with him or her... that lets him or her know you "really care" about whatever you are calling for... it is a powerful way to make him or her care too.

These are very simple methods for building your own "personal influence" and in turn being able to "persuade" others... there is a lot more to "person power" and "influence"... start using these very simple methods and see the change in how other people perceive you... and "how" you can "persuade" them... to a WIN WIN situation for you  both.

As always... leave a man or woman all the "better" for "knowing" you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely


Ange is an  Author... Speaker... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... who works with men and women on line and real world who desire to "personally develop" themselves and their "relationships" to become Dynamic Lifers... "creators" of their own life and wealth!



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