Why Your Feelings About Men So Often Misleads You?

By Ange Fonce

When most people think about coaching or counselling... they often assume that the coach or counsellor is going to help them get in touch with their feelings

This mistaken and common belief is that the more in touch you are with your feelings... the better your life will be. 

In some circumstances this assumption of this concept is correct... yet there are many exceptions.

When it comes to feelings it is true that what you personally feel is neither right nor wrong... it is simply how you feel... I often use the analogy of someone who is hungry. 

It would be senseless to tell someone who states they are hungry that he or she should not feel hungry... if you are hungry... you are hungry! 

Yet when it comes to relationships... your feelings and the role they play in a relationship get a lot more complex.

When a man becomes significant in a womans life... she does not just feel... she FEELS... her emotions and feelings are exaggerated... she wants to be with him constantly... she thinks about him often and she is keenly aware of when he is being sweet and when he is acting rude or indifferent. 

What many women do not recognize is that what they feel is only half of the equation... the other half is how they interpret those feelings... more importantly is how their interpretation affects them and the relationship

This aforementioned principle is a common cause as to when problems start to arise in a relationship... when your feelings for a man are extremely intense... that is usually when you are the least intuitive.  

Intuition Is Based On Knowledge

The truth is that intuition is based on knowledge far more so than on feelings

The more facts you have about a man... like his character... behavior patterns and his integrity... the more accurately you will be able to understand the motivation behind his various behaviors or actions

Have you ever known a woman who recognized that a particular man was dishonest or unfaithful and yet still chose to date him? 

The reason for this decision was probably that she believed and felt that they had a “connection" and her feelings told her that despite the negative information she knew about this man... he would be good to her and their relationship would be different. 

She had an instinctual feeling about it... if anyone disagreed with her it was because other individuals could not understand their specific “connection” which to her was markedly different from his past relationships with other women or his past behavior. 

It is not that her feelings were necessarily wrong... in fact I am quite certain that there were many wonderful qualities about such a man in this scenario. 

Yet it is important to realize that women like the one described above... who make assumptions simply based on the strength of their feelings are exaggerating the importance of what they feel which in turn... they are minimizing the significance regarding their lack of knowledge about a mans character. 

The result is often a relationship that can be very abusive or ends abruptly and then a desperate plea for help in trying to change him or in getting him back. 

And to finish up this article by mentioning that men are not immune to this too... to often men let a pretty face and hot body turn their brain to mush and leave them to discount some serious character flaws in women.

I can put my own hand up to that one... especially when I was younger... now I look a lot deeper and go past a pretty face and hot body... now I want to know the nature of a womans character first before I decide to take things any further. 

There is HUGE difference between wanting to score for sexing and wanting to find a relationship partner... because sexing you can score anytime... a relationship partner... now that is a BIG deal for long term commitment! 

Get it wrong and you have let yourself in for a truckload of pain... heartache and a wrecked life and how often have you done that based on your feelings and ignored all the evidence of the Red Flags that says just do not go there?

Yes there is a saying that...

"Love is blind."

Does not mean love has to be stupid too!

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Intellectual Badass... noun

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright kick arse person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

4... If you are Happy and you Know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!

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