How To Troubleshoot Your Personal Development

By Ange Fonce

Ready to troubleshoot your Personal Development and work on the problems that seem to block you?

Here are the steps...

1... Learn to Learn

The most important skill you can have in personal development and in life... is to know how to learn.

If you are going out every day and doing the same thing over and over... just hoping one day that it will start working... then you have not learned this skill... it is like bashing your head against a brick wall... over and over... hoping that eventually it will give way.

Know what... it will not... all your do is hurt your head and go round and round in circles going NOWHERE FAST!

Instead take a step back... look at the wall... look at the environment around the wall and then either climb over it or walk around it.

So in personal development terms... if you practice... then do... always assess the results and then figure out what you did well and not so well and then actually improve next time until you are doing it well and it is natural to you... then you are well on your way to mastery.

Below are a few pointers for training your inner coach.

How Long Does It Take?

There is no specific amount of time it is going to take you to master your personal development.

The reason is because everyone is starting from a different place... for some people it may be a few months... for others a few years.

And because you are breaking down the way you socially interact with other people and how you intimately act with yourself and rebuilding it... it is likely that for some of you... your personal development may get worse before it gets better... it is like cleaning a house... at some point in the process your house is messier than it was before you started cleaning... yet in the end your house will be excellent.

For me it is a continue life long process as I am constantly learning to do things better and refining to acquire the level of natural excellence of operating at my peak... for some depending on what the want to personally acquire and develop it takes less time... for others more time.

No matter where you are starting from... a few of you may have to work harder than others and overcome more of your limiting beliefs and behaviors to get there.

So do not be impatient or try to be perfect... this is not a productive way of thinking

As long as you are learning and improving and refining your personal development... you are doing fine. 

You are learning a new skills and acquiring goals that can have a long learning curve and there are no shortcuts.

Know Thyself

Ancient wisdom from the Oracle of Delphi... Know Thyself.

This is another one of the most valuable skills you can possess.

Those who are overly confident in their own perfection and believe that they are right all the time DO NOT LEARN.

Those who beat themselves up every time something goes wrong and take things personally are just as bad... THEY DO NOT LEARN.

One of the best assets you can have is the ability to look at yourself objectively and absorb any feedback or constructive criticism... it is essential not to respond DEFENSIVELY... the demons that are the cause of most of our problems are FEAR and INSECURITY... work to abolish them at all times... the other secret to being light and carefree in this world is to NOT take things personally.

Once you have been given advice or feedback... you must process to it with an open mind... free of the traps I mentioned above... then you will be able to accurately filter it. 

There are three categories to file the advice and feedback in...

A... Yes... 

Does it apply to you? 

Could it help? 

If so incorporate the lesson and see what happens.

B... Maybe... 

Are you not sure about the feedback? 

Perhaps it is worth trying... test out the new behavior or idea and see if it fits and works for you.

C... No... 

Be very sure before discarding advice... yet if it is a bad idea coming from a bad source that shows little understanding... you are free to ignore it... yet if the same advice keeps coming at you from different sources you may want to reconsider the idea as well as your own view of yourself and your responses to others.

The more you filter the better your instincts become... until one day your instincts will be better than most peoples advice. 

For most of us that day is a long way away... others who are not doing the work you are will never get there. 

The key is to enjoy the journey.

Instant Replay

When I was first learning personal development... my mentor told me I had one trait that most people did not use... it is called REFLECTION.

This was the ability to replay events in my head... identify the sticking points and trouble areas and then come up with a solution for next time... without taking it personally.

Every time you make a choice and plan to do something and it does not go according to plan... you are responding with INSECURITY if you blame it on the other person.

My attitude is... if someone else has done it or can do it... then it must be possible.

So every time a goal or project does not end up with the outcome you would like... it is movie time... at some point at your leisure replay the entire event in your head... then figure out what YOU could have done to make the outcome more successful... if you cannot figure it out for yourself... post the details to myself and ask for help.

Then next time you find yourself in a similar situation... you will know exactly what to do.

Do not forget that knowing is different than doing... it is easy to know what to do and it takes practice to do it well.

Where Did It Go Wrong?

Here is a rule of thumb... if something goes wrong at ONE stage in the plan it generally means you made a mistake in the PREVIOUS stage of the plan.

That is assuming you are following the structure and material you have planned or have been given.

For example... 

Kobo Abe the Japanese writer once said that all his work is about the same thing. 

It is that one of the biggest problems of modern living is that we are made for a tribal existence and people are still not used to the idea of encountering a stranger who is not an enemy.

While this may be both truth and exaggeration... let us say what this means for you is that when you meet a man or woman... it can only take as little as ONE warning sign or error and he or she may back away from a future interaction with you.

If you give off one creepy or desperate signal it is often enough to turn a man or woman off who is well socially calibrated and in the case of women... most women are and men not so well socially calibrated... that is bad news if you are a man wanting to interact with women and visa versa.

The good news is that if you can figure out what those negative or warning signs are that you are giving off... you can eradicate them from your behavior and nearly all of your interactions will be successful.

Here is the secret to eradicating bad behaviors... become self correcting.

Know what you are looking to change and transform... then whenever you catch yourself doing it... fix it or stop it.

Yet how do you know what to change if you cannot figure out for yourself during the interaction or during movie time after?

This is one of the reasons it is important to work with a mentor because it is not always easy to see yourself as others see you.

Another way to do this is to talk to the man or woman... when I was learning... I would ask people to honestly explain their mental process and reasoning for their decisions... this way I received feedback that I could then filter and use if applicable to improve myself.

Other times I would purposely experiment with a new idea or way of behaving to see if it worked better than what I was typically doing.

You are never failing if you are learning.

So remember... 

Learn to learn... to know thyself... learn from your successes as well as your mistakes and whatever may happen do not take it personally.

If the game is personal development then we are all in it for life.

So learn to play it well and to the best of your ability.

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

 Intellectual Badass... noun

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist... Sexologist and Multipreneur!... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

4... If you are Happy and you Know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!

To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation for any problems you would like help with CLICK HERE

"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future!"

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