How To Deal With Your Fears In Acquiring Your Goals


By Ange Fonce


"I do the very best I know how - the very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so until the end. If the end brings me out all right, what is said against me won't amount to anything. If the end brings me out wrong, ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference." ~ Abraham Lincoln

I used to think that successful people had it all figured out.

If they wanted to make something happen they knew exactly what to do.

If they created a new product or a new venture it would be instantly popular and profitable.

They knew all the right people... hired the right help... set all the right prices and pulled all the right strings of the many moving parts of their business to make it all work perfectly... had they attained some kind of career Nirvana a place in which they did not need to struggle and worry and fail any more?

It is a pretty nice story... this notion that success puts an end to fear and uncertainty and it is a lie.





The Truth About Insecurity...


You know those freak outs you have about whether your new venture will fly or the new man and woman in your life will be cool whether you will make enough money next month and how people will judge your latest efforts?

You know how sometimes you cannot sleep because you are not sure about your retirement or are nervous that Customer X will demand a refund or your partner is not being faithful to you?

You know those fears that people will decide that you are a phony or un cool... those thoughts that you will not be able to do that big thing that is on the horizon?

Well get used to those fears because they are never going to go away... I have met enough of the stars in this life of mine to know that "the ultra confident and never uncertain successful person" is about as realistic as the tooth fairy... no one has it all figured out!

Every one of them has the occasional periods of doubt of feeling that their next big thing might be their next big flop... all of them put their pants on one leg at a time... head to their work spaces and proceed to worry about most of the same things as every other human being.

Not one of the people you look up to is confident all the time... they do not confer upon themselves the same degree of "expert status" that the public has conferred upon them... they do not feel they are infallible.

I myself experience times when the "monsters of self doubt" have run rampant.





Everyone Has Insecurities...


The difference between people who do big things and those who have the same ideas and do nothing is not that successful people are more capable or fearless.

The difference is that successful people feel the uncertainty and they freak out a little or a lot about how what they are about to do could fail or make them look stupid or invite ridicule or kill their profits for the month or bust their relationship... then they do it anyway.

Whether you succeed or fail  and whether you continue to succeed or continue to fail... you are human... you are going to be uncertain about things... you are going to be afraid... that is not a bad thing because the times when you are uncertain and fearful are the times you grow... do not fear uncertainty... use it... Master it.

If you can make uncertainty your ally and your friend a world of amazing things awaits you.





How To Become A Master Of Uncertainty...


Tony Robbins one of the Worlds Top Coaches has a catch phrase that he says all the time... 

"The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably live with."

Uncertainty is going to crop up anyway... would it not be nice to find a way to comfortably live with more of it?

Here are 6 ways you can make that happen...




1... Embrace Uncertainty...

Certainty is a cage.

Sure we all like that warm feeling that comes from knowing where we are and what is coming next yet that is not the way life is every 24 hours... let alone every week or year.

And uncertainty helps us to grow and become more as people and growth is always preceded by something novel and uncomfortable... you cannot evolve without new and challenging experiences.

You know that expression...

"If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten"? 

It is true... if you keep on doing the same thing and keep getting the same results then change what you are doing and try something different... because Human Beings are such creatures of habit... you want success then YOU HAVE TO CHANGE to become successful!

Uncertainty is your friend because without it you will stagnate and you will begin to die a little at a time.





2... Uncouple Fear From Uncertainty...


The knee jerk reaction to uncertainty is fear.

If you are fearful about money about love... that fear comes from an uncertainty as to whether or not you will have enough money or you are worthy of loving or being loved... if yo are afraid of your business failing... what that really means is that you do not know whether what you are doing will work or if it will fail... it is the same for personal relationships.

Even a fear of the so called dark is just a reaction to being unsure about what might be in the dark rather than a certainty that a particularly scary thing is lurking in it... even though uncertainty often brings fear... uncertainty is not the same as fear.

Make sure you see the difference.





3... Acknowledge Fear And Hear What It Is Trying To Tell You...


Look your fear square in the eye.

Do not try to pretend you are not afraid because as psychiatrist  Carl Jung told us...

"What we resist persists."

Fear is not bad... it is there to warn you... it is saying...

"This might happen so plan accordingly."

And this is key... make sure you do not think fear knows more than it does about the future... no one knows the future as a certainty... we make the future by what we do NOW!

It is not assuring you that something bad will happen... prepare and do your best to mitigate any potential peril... then let fear go... once you have heard the message and have prepared as much as you are able... do not let it keep screaming in your ear repeating its prophecies of doom.




4... Do Something...

Action is the antidote to fear.

If you are uncertain and afraid the worst thing you can do is to simply wait to see what happens... do something... do anything.

If you are worried about money go plan and get your budgets sorted out... if you are worried about your future... then sit down and really think about how you can make your future happen and if you cannot do it yourself then consider working with a good coach who can help you define what you want and where you want to be in the future... and how to take the action to achieve success in what ever YOU want to do.

If you do not know what you want... how can you know where you are going and where you want to be... develop your plan and do what you can to refine it... remember how I said that uncertainty and fear are the keys to growth? 

Well this step is where it happens... do not just experience fear... use your fear.

Chuck D. from Public Enemy said...

"When I get mad, I put it down on a pad - give you something that you never had." 

He does not just get angry... he gets angry and uses that anger to write lyrics. 

Fear works the same way.

It can cripple you or it can inspire you to do something awesome even if that awesome thing just feels like a way to escape fear at the time you do it.





5... Be Courageous...


Think that brave people are fearless and are able to do the things they do because they are not afraid of doing them?

Not at all... doing what is not frightening is not bravery... it is rational everyday decision making... people who have courage are those who feel uncertain and afraid and proceed anyway.

Mark Twain said...

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear." 

Do not think you are doing it wrong if you still have fear... fear is natural... proceeding in the face of that fear is the courage you need in order to grow and to become more.





What Fear Did For Me...


Personally I have felt a lot of fear and I am glad for it. 

Fear is the reason I have been able to build the life I have today which is honestly pretty amazing.

If a serious financial crash had not scared the pants off of me a few years ago... I never would have tried building my business.

If I had not seen enough uncertain situations I would never have realized that there is no safety net... it is just an illusion... that life throws "curve balls" and has no respect for where it throws them or who at!

Without uncertainty and fear I never would have figured out that things really do seem to happen for a reason and that reason is... that if you do not exercise some control and have Mastery over your own life and have a sense of purpose... life will stomp all over you... life is unfair so get use to it and stop bitching... if you are often unsure how things are going to turn out and if that really scares you then I say...

“Awesome... you are on the right track!”

If you face your fears... track them down and then find a way to use them the way Muad Dib faced his fears and then rode the big scary sand worms in the sci fi classic Dune then congratulations... you really do have it all figured out... you have figured out that the key to a great life is being okay with not having it figured out at all.

You have found the wisdom in uncertainty... you have realized that the key to being amazing is doing the things that frighten you... keep it up... deal with your fears about uncertainty and forge on in spite of them.

I would close by saying to not be afraid... yet that would kind of be missing the point.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely




INTELLECTUAL BADASS!

Intellectual Badass... noun

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright "kick arse" person who is a GEEK and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life and wealth! 


To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation  CLICK HERE





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