How To Build Your Trusting Relationship Foundation With a Man 

By Ange Fonce

"You attract what you are... not what you want... that is why I am always interested in the men you have courted... it tells me something about you." ~ Ange Fonce

I want you to imagine something for a moment...

I want you to imagine a "relationship" with a man that is so secure that you never have to worry about saying something that he will take the wrong way and pull away... just because you told him exactly how you "feel."

I want you to imagine not needing to dissect everything about your “relationship”... imagine not needing to ask your friends to decode what he is saying because the level of “communication” between you and your man is so honest and free flowing... that there is no need to go outside the “relationship” for validation.

Imagine how “confident” and “loving” you would “feel” if you had this?

If you want this then you should know that it all starts with “knowing” exactly “how” to “communicate” with a man so that...

A... He understands YOU and he can hear you and your needs.

B... He feels understood by you... so that you can speak with him in a language he will truly "get"... to the point where he cannot imagine being with any other woman.

Okay... now let me ask you a question?

What are the most critical things that all “great relationships” have in common that makes them so "loving" and lasting?

Great question.

I will share these with you in a special way.... by taking you through a simple exercise I have been sharing with women over the years that instantly helps them... do not worry... it will only take a few seconds. 

Here is “how” it will work... I am going to ask you to imagine a few special moments and situations that come about in “relationships”... once I share these special moments with you...  I want you to tell me if these are something you are interested in finally experiencing with a man.

Sound good?

Okay... let us get started... here we go...

Imagine for a second these amazing moments being a part of your “relationship”... and that your “relationship” has a rock solid and incredibly stable FOUNDATION to it because there is nothing you and the man in your life CANNOT SAY to each other and still be “loving” and “truly listen”... there is an underlying TRUST that you “feel” with the man in your life... this “trust” makes you more “confident”... more carefree and more fun to be around than you can ever remember before

You do not ever have to “think” about “how” to say what you REALLY FEEL ever again... or worry if it will derail your “relationship” somehow by saying it... the man in your life is aware that when he pulls away it is hard on you... and instead he opens up about what is going on for him... while still considering ”how” it will make you “feel” and its impact on your “relationship”...  you never have to “feel” that completely "disconnected feeling” again that makes you "feel" alone and in the dark... and instead you always feel that “strong connection” with the man in your life on a “deep physical” and “emotional level”...  you finally do not have to wonder where your “relationship” is going or “how” your man is “feeling” because YOU KNOW since he checks in with you on a regular basis and shares his "love" and "affection."

Okay... those are the situations and moments... now let me ask you...

Did you find any situations or moments here that you “know” are parts of a “great relationship” that you want to experience?

And more importantly... did you find that many of these situations or moments are things you “know” you WOULD like to be experiencing in a “relationship” when things are GOOD... and you have yet to get to that kind of place in any of your “relationships?”

If so... I have got good news... I am going to share with you how to talk to your boyfriend... husband and connect about “how” you are both “feeling” in a way that he will not only respond to... and I am also going to show you how to have him WANTING MORE connection and “communication” each time you talk with him... because it leaves him “feeling” so good and so close to you.

You already know how "intimate" it is when you and a man finally "connect" on that deep personal level... here is the thing... I do not want you to let this be a rare situation... when there are a few simple yet powerful tools you can use to make sure you and your man “connect” on this deeper level daily.

If you want to find out “how” to have your guy coming to you and “feeling” excited and inspired to talk and share now and for the rest of your “relationship.”
 


THE LANGUAGE OF CONNECTION 

Hidden Secrets

I want to share a powerful way of seeing and being in your “relationship” that has the power to INSTANTLY transform the quality and security of what you "share" with a man... this is something that took me years to put my finger on... and this powerful method is... that women “think” of their “relationship” as some clearly defined "thing" that is either "good" or "bad" or troubled at a given time.

In other words... they like to "think" of a “relationship” as one individual definable thing... and the REALITY is that a “relationship” is not one definable "thing"...and  to put it simply... no a "relationship" is not this way.

So what IS a “relationship” then? 

I will tell you...

A “relationship” is actually a collection of hundreds or thousands of MOMENTS and “connections” and “feelings” that you and a man “share”... these are what make up your “relationship”... you probably see where I am going with this now... the "truth" is that since your “relationship” is not one single thing you can put your finger on and is a collection of lots of little special moments and “feelings”... I want you to consider this important question... if you want to "create" real and lasting CHANGE in your “relationship”... what is more likely to work?

1... Getting frustrated at the "thing" you think of as your “relationship” and trying to force change on that one thing by sheer will or by force?

2... Recognizing that since your “relationship” is just a collection of unique and special moments and “connections” and “feelings”...and choosing to create NEW MOMENTS that are of the “quality” and type that you are looking to experience more of in the first place?

Now that you “know” what a “relationship” is really made of... which one of these is more likely to work?

I am sure you see that “1” is the losing battle lots of women become trapped in... and that “2” is the answer that works by using the power of what a “relationship” is to your advantage... if you are a more "spiritual" person... another way to “think” about this is...

If you want more “love”... the surest way to “create” it is to “feel” and “share” more “love” to begin with... you have the power to “create” what it is you seek... you just have to take the first step... to make the invitation of “love” to your partner.

Okay... you still with me?

Good.

Now that you know all that... I want to help you really "get" what I am talking about here so you can put it to work in your “relationship” and "feel" the amazing benefits of getting more of what you want back in return.

Ready? 

Great...

You know “how” it “feels” when you and your man “feel connected”... right?

There is nothing that can pull you apart... and even if bumps in the road come up... it is not hard to ride right over them without a hitch.

Well... one of the most powerful tools you can use in your “communication” is to use the incredible power of CONNECTION during those conversations where you are most likely to become DISCONNECTED.

Hint... "connecting" and using the power of “connection” when you “communicate” has a lot more to it than just WORDS... sure I can and will give you the WORDS to use in the most critical and important situations that come up with men in “relationships”... and that is just the SURFACE STUFF.

If you do not know how to “create” the CONNECTION that is the “emotional” part that underlies the words you speak and share... then no matter how badly you want to “create” the foundation for "truly honest" and "loving communication” in your “relationship” all the "right" words will not help you... look at it this way... have you ever seen or heard “how” men "think" that there are "pick up lines" that work to "attract" a woman to them?

Well... the sheer fact that a man “thinks” he needs the exact perfect set of words to say to a woman and then she will magically become physically “attracted” to him is laughable... just “thinking” this is “how” things work shows that a man has a huge misunderstanding about women... and more importantly about human nature and “communication.”

It is not his words... it is what he is saying indirectly about himself... and whether or not he is able to “connect” with a woman on a personal "emotional" level... that would spark any interest or “attraction” in a woman... see what I mean?

It is never the words themselves that "create" the CONNECTION... it is the EMOTIONAL energy that is "created" in the words that builds the CONNECTION.

Okay... so here is the thing... there are no "perfect words" for you with a man in your “relationship” either... their are no "pick up lines" for you either... your words are just part of “how” you initiate and “create” a special moment and a “connection” that grabs a man by his heart and pulls him to you... all the words in the world cannot help you if you are not “creating” that special CONNECTION when you are talking to the man in your life.

Why?

Because there is "something else" going on underneath the surface when a man and a woman talk... and it is this other thing that is the REAL REASON why a man either “connects” with you and wants to stay “connected” to you... or he does not and he pulls away and is distant... so if words are not the thing that matter most... what does matter most?

I am glad you asked.

I want you to enjoy the “freedom” and “confidence” and “love” that comes from not just knowing “how” to stay CONNECTED in your “relationship”... and I want you to start GETTING BACK the love and care that you put in your “relationship”... see when you finally “know” how to press a few of those simple buttons that keep you and a man "connected" and allow you to talk completely openly and honestly something amazing happens... the man in your life is TRANSFORMED by the power of the “connection” that you SHARE as well.

That is the beauty and the challenge of any “relationship”... that the level of “love” and “connection” you SHARE can only rise to the level at which BOTH partners are... which means... if you do not know “how” to use the power of CONNECTION to draw your man even closer to you and open him up... and IF your man is not being “open” or engaged with you EMOTIONALLY... then you are going to have a hard time getting your “relationship” to be anything better than what the "disconnected man" in your life can bring to the table.



YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE

Now... there is a catch here... you cannot just take on the task of trying to transform a man and make him a better “communicator” just because you want to... you cannot just say to a man... 

"Hey... I need you to show up emotionally and be better at listening and talking and paying attention to my feelings."

That will not cut it.

What DOES WORK is by completely removing yourself from any attempts to talk to a man about HOW he “communicates”... and instead DRAW HIM IN to the kind of “powerful communication” you “create” with him.

Hint... powerful and authentic “communication” is CONTAGIOUS.

You really can "create" the strong... “positive” solid foundation you need for a “relationship” that  you want and desire... when you “know” and “understand” how to COMMUNICATE to build the EMOTIONAL connection with a man.

And to finish up this article here are a few "communication secrets" and what they "mean" when a man says something to you. 

When he says...

"Nothing is wrong."
 
What this really means.... I have a problem and I want to figure it out for myself... I do not want you to tell me "how" to resolve it... because if I have to ask for help... that means I am a failure... and I want to solve this for myself.

When he says...

"I do not know." 

What this really means... there is no right answer for me... especially when you ask me a question that gets me in trouble no matter "how" I answer it... like when you ask me... 

"Do you think she is pretty?"

I "know" that this is a loaded question and no matter which way I answer it... it is going to get me in trouble... and you will pick a fight with me. 

When he says... 

"What is wrong?" 

What this really means... he does not want to "know" all the details... he is asking for just enough information so that he can help you fix what is bothering you... he is "listening" not to "empathize"... he wants to "help" you resolve the problem. 

When he says...

"I love you." 

What this really means... now this depends on when it is said and the "context" of when he says it... if he says it after a couple weeks... he wants "sex"... if he says it after 6 months... he is "thinking" of being far more "committed" and "exclusive" to you... and a word of caution here... it does not mean he wants to be in a "committed relationships" with with you... it means he is "thinking" about it... when he turns up with the "engagement ring"... that is a sure sign he wants you in his life and has chosen to be with you.

When he says...

"You look great or fantastic... etc." 

What this really means... again this is about context and his "compliments" are always "sincere" if he "initiates" it and if the "compliment" is not followed by a "request"... such as... 

"You look fantastic... would you like to get naked?" 

Unfortunately... there are men who actually say things like that... it is "false flattery" to get something from you... mainly "sex."

A Genuine Man will give a Genuine Compliment because that is "exactly" what he means and he is saying it to you. 

And one last thought for you...

Genuine and Authentic Communication... "creates" and "builds" a Genuine and Authentic Relationship.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely


Ange is an  Author... Speaker... and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with men and women who desire to "personally develop" themselves and their "relationships" to become Dynamic Lifers... "creators" of their own life and wealth! 


To CONTACT Ange CLICK HERE



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