How To Avoid That Esteem Crash when Courting 

By Ange Fonce

The funny thing is that most men and women out there assume that if you are good looking... you have got it made with the opposite sex... as you can tell... this just is not so. 

Good looks maybe will give you an edge... yet if there is no content in the pretty packaging... being "good looking" is not going to get you very far in the long run. 

So let us stop here a moment and ask a question?

“How many mistakes do you need to make when “courting” the opposite sex to get good?

Well... the answer is ... 43.5.

Okay... maybe it is 7.

How about 1,346?

Forget the numbers... here is “how” you have to look at your situation...

QUESTION... How many mistakes do you need to make?


You cannot quantify “attraction”... I can not distil it into an easy prescription that I can write and tell you that if you make exactly X number of “meet ups”... you will get 1 boyfriend or  girlfriend... it may take 1 mistake... it might take 500 mistakes... WHO CARES how many it takes? 

All that REALLY matters is that you MAKE those mistakes and get them out of the way and learn and grow from them... so that you can get to that warm... “happy place” we all want to get to a lot faster... that is the place where you “understand” how to interact with men and women to spark their “romantic interest”...  and that is just the START!

All that REALLY matters is the kind of Man or Woman you become in the process!

That warm... happy place that I speak of is called SUCCESS... and there is no “feeling” like it in the world... if I told you it takes a THOUSAND mistakes... would that be more than you could handle... would you give up... run off and cry... maybe just forget about it and live alone for the rest of your life? 

No... a Masculine Man and Feminine Woman would NEVER give up until they have figured it out... never would they give up!

Remember the motto from the movie Apollo 13... 

'Failure is NOT an option!'

You seem to be shocked by the fact that other men and women can sense your “insecure mindset”... of course they can sense your “feelings”... Masculine Men and Feminine Women understand “how refined” and heightened“emotions”  is to men and women who are “insecure” and lack “confidence”... they have a built in "wimp" detector... and it serves them well.

Take for instance... women grow up “interacting” in very complex and intricate “social situations” with their other girlfriends... while most guys are sitting home playing computer games... or sneaking peeks at your dads Penthouse magazines or these days... porn on the net... this refined "intuition" is how she keeps from getting hooked up with the “real losers” out there... a lot of women “practice” and refine their skills in “real world situations.” 

And what most men do though... because they lack this “real world experience”... is making the “wrong assumption” when they start reading articles about “courting”... and “women”... you assume that if there is something you do not know about yet... or a “skill” you do not have yet... that means that you have a reason to “feel inadequate”... you are reading things that point out what you need to work on... and you are only looking at the “negative side”... so  you are getting down on yourself as a result.

EVERYONE has areas to improve in... including me... no one is perfect... I personally am always seeking to improve myself in ALL ways... you can never stop learning! 

Should you be “depressed” to find out you have got more work to do?

NO... you should feel INVIGORATED... and  “energized”... more work to do means you have still  more “life to live”... that is something to be EXCITED about... not insecure... and you are the only one who can choose that interpretation... so put away your hanky and stop crying... get busy and also chill out... relax and enjoy “building your life” and let other men and women be a part of your life... the added bonus!

Get to work on increasing your Masculine  or Feminine behaviours and vibe... you want to come across as a “confident” man or woman not a man or woman who is “insecure” and “incompetent”... having a man or woman will never fulfil you if you are not a whole in the first place... you will just fall into more and more “self defeating beliefs and behaviours”... work on your own “personal development”... keep traction going everyday in your life by “learning new methods” to “improve yourself” and learn about men or women. 

You need to make a COMMITMENT to yourself to learn the “mating game” by going out and playing it... sometimes you will win... sometimes you will learn something... notice I did not say "lose"... you will make mistakes... it is the only way to “win” in the end.

I have spent a lifetime "crashing and burning"... making "mistakes" and each time it has been a "stepping stone" to greater “success”... until you slap your head and realize this “truth”... it is not how many mistakes you make... it is how many times you make a mistake and KEEP ON TRYING... EVOLVING and GROWING!

Your going to need a WHOLE lot more than just "good looks" in the changing landscape of "courting" and "relationships" between men and women... like focusing and  building a GREAT life for yourself in ALL areas of your life! 

You do have a “choice”... you can let your “pessimistic attitude” pull you down or you can be “optimistic!"
I have a simple little saying... 

"You want to be the Best you have to Invest to be the BEST!

So “invest” in yourself... have a “life”. going on... have “healthy esteem” and “confidence” and you are more than half way there to being “attractive!” 

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Recommended Reading...

Do You Bring VALUE To Your Relationships? 

By Ange Fonce

"Do not go to people with an empty cup... needing to get it filled up... Offer value!”

Let us dig a little deeper into the idea of “value” because I get the feeling a lot of men and women do not "understand" this concept to well... for instance many men and women "think"  that "value" has to do with money or clothes... superficial stuff like that... and it does not.

It also does not have to do with doing stuff for him or her... buying...

Ange is an  Author... Speaker... and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with men and women who desire to "personally develop" themselves and their "relationships" to become Dynamic Lifers... "creators" of their own life and wealth! 


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