How One Simple Question Can Transform Your Life

By Ange Fonce

How much can one simple question really affect your life? 

Maybe not at all or maybe a certain question could have a profound effect. 

Especially if the question is one of those sneaky "assumptive" types. 

Have you heard of the “Making A Murderer” show on Netflix? 

I will not spoil it if you have not seen it yet and if you are into murder mysteries... it is a fascinating show and there is a ton of controversy around the show right now. 

The story revolves around a man who was falsely imprisoned for 18 years and after he gets out from serving his sentence he is accused of another crime with an accomplice and throughout the series you get to hear some of the real life interviews that were conducted by the police and other detectives. 

At one point 2 detectives are questioning a 16 year old and after going round and round with him one of the detectives asks one of those sneaky "assumptive" questions. 

“Which one of you shot her?” 

Now this may not seem like an unusual question to ask especially during a police interview... yet up until that time if I recall correctly... the fact that a victim had been shot had not been established. 

So let us look at this seemingly innocent question and take it apart. 

First... it assumes that someone has been shot. 

Which may not seem like a big deal unless of course you are going on trial for murder and you are the main person of interest. 

Second... it assumes that a gun was involved. 

The investigators did not say anything about a bow and arrow or any other means that the victim could have been shot... so the gun is the logical assumption. 

Third... either the 16 year old suspect shot the victim or his accomplice did. 

I mean the police were looking at 2 people and if this kid did not shoot the victim then it must have been his partner. 

Later the defense attorneys would look at this interview and say that it was not a confession as the 16 year old did not bring up the idea of “shooting” anyone... that that idea came entirely from the police. 

Now assuming that you are not on trial for murder... do these types of questions ever come up in other real life examples? 


I mentioned some sneaky types of questions to ask... this particular type of question that I used in the example was an "assumptive question." 

When I worked as a youth worker I used this type of question all of the time as many of the clients that I worked with were addicts and of course they did not think of themselves as addicts. 

And when I first started out... I focused on asking the wrong questions. 

For example... 

Back in the day I would start an interview with a question like this... 

“Are you currently using any drugs?” 

Guess what 99% of the answers were? 

“Absolutely not.” 

Which in 98% of the cases was a complete lie. 

That question was quickly discarded and replaced with this... 

“What are you using now?” 

This question assumes that they are using drugs and the question simply asks them to narrow down what they are using. 

You can see questions like this in the business world as well. 

"How much money have you committed to this project?" 

Assuming that the prospect has committed any money at all. 

"Did you want to meet on Tuesday or Thursday?" 

Assuming that the person you are speaking with wants to meet at all. 

"Would you prefer the red sports car or the blue one?" 

Assuming that the person is interested in purchasing or test driving a sports car in the first place. 

Here is what you have to watch out for when you answer a question like this... you are going along with the assumption and if that assumption is in your best interest... then go for it... if it is not... then do not fall into this trap. 

For example... 

Suppose someone is trying to set up a face to face meeting with you so they ask... 

"Would you prefer Tuesday or Thursday to sit down and talk?" 

If you are not sure that you want to sit down with them... let them know that without feeling pressured into one of the two choices that they gave you. 

"Thank you... unfortunately I am not at the stage where I need to sit down and talk about anything right now and if you have any more information that I can read up on that would be great." 

Just because someone gives you a choice does not mean that you have to choose based on the limits that they set. 

Especially if you get the feeling that they do not have your best interests at heart. 

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Intellectual Badass... noun

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright kick arse person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

4... If you are Happy and you Know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!

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