How Do You Handle Lifes Curve Balls 

By Ange Fonce

It is amazing how “one moment” in “time” can “change” everything... you are living your life... expecting it to continue in a particular way... then suddenly out of the blue... in the blink of an eye... with one “life curve ball” and the “choice” you make in “reaction” to that “life curve ball” and  everything can dramatically “change”... and it could seem a “good change” or it could seem a “bad change”...  and for some just the fact that there is a “big change” throws them into a tailspin.

Let us look at some examples of "positive curve ball” moments...

The love of your life asks you to “marry him”... you are called into your boss office and receive an “unexpected" promotion or raise... you "win" a competition... you close a "fantastic deal" which brings you great monetary abundance... you "experience" the birth of a baby... you "purchase" your very first home... and so on. 

We have so many “examples” every day of “positive moments” and how “one life curve ball” in the blink of an eye... “changes” the course of your life... all of the above are “life changing moments” and take your life in a “new direction”... will they be “positive changes” or will they be “negative changes”... only “time” will show the "effect" of your ”choice?" 

We can also “experience” what can be called “negative life curve balls” and they might look like this... your company down sizes and your job is unexpectedly terminated... you experience a family death... you receive a large unexpected bill that you do not have the money to pay... you are diagnosed with a serious illness... you have a car accident... one of your children have an issue with the police... and on and on... you also have to deal with what feel like “negative life curve balls”... and  once again... in the blink of an eye... everything “changes” fast.... and we are faced with "choices!"

When things are going well you “feel better" about life... even though there are always “small changes” that appear in your daily life... it is easier to "feel good" when all is going well... yet when you  have “negative curve ball” moments that suddenly appear... or if they seem to be relentless... negative hit after negative hit... you soon get upset and depressed and  “playing the victim” over your “perceived negative experiences.”

Stuff happens... every day... every week... every month... every year... throughout your entire life... stuff will happen... the simple “reality” is this... you cannot escape the “obstacles” and “problems” that present them self in your life... because that is how life is... life just “happens” and life is neither “good” or “bad”... “positive” or “negative”... life is just life... full stop. 

Yet you can “control” your “response” to a “bad experience”... when life happens and “perceived negative curve balls” come your way... it is simply “how” you “perceive” them that makes the “difference” in your response.

Whatever you “focus on” expands in its “perception”... so if you see something as a “bad” happening... you will “create”  more “pessimism” around the “experience” and thus “create” a “self fulfilling prophecy” of the same type of “pessimistic experiences.”

Why Does This Happen?

Because we are as “human beings” are greatly “influenced” by what we are “feeling” and “believing” to be “happening” to us at the “time” of the “experience”... yet if you look at the moment through the “perception” of “accurate thinking”... you would see it for what it is... a “problem” that has to be dealt with... it is not “good” or “bad”... it is just a “problem” that has occurred by a series of events... when you start to use “accurate thinking”... it shifts the entire “feeling” of “life curve balls” from an "emotional experience" to a "thinking experience" and “enables” you to “create” a different scenario... that can “benefit” you... because there is one thing "emotions" were never "evolved" to do... and that is to "rationally think" with "reason!"

Here is an example from my own life... 

I was working on a draft of an article... and as the thoughts of what to write were formulating in my mind... I was interrupted by a phone call from my solicitor that initially threw me for a loop.... I am working congenially with a housing group concerning a property that they are wanting to buy... I had agreed on the settlement and thought all was well... the money I would receive has been set aside to upgrade my present home. 

Then I got the call from my solicitor stating that the bank has the authority to take some of the settlement as security... and they wanted to take half of it... my first “reaction” was “anger”... and I found my heart racing somewhat as I "felt" this was an injustice... I thought... 

“This is not fair... this money is for my use to upgrade my present home... bloody banks will always find a way to rip you off!” 

I was justified to be a angry... do you not think?

What right do they have to take anything in the first place... let alone half of it?

Where was I at that moment?

Upset and angry at the “unfairness” of the situation... lots of  “emotions” and “pessimistic thoughts” about the bank... which “naturally” was not producing the most “productive behaviour” and "rational thinking" from me... i.e... images of blowing the bank up! 

I was “resisting” the “natural flow” of the “curve ball situation”... and I suddenly became aware of the space I was in and that I was not “thinking straight”... immediately I calmed myself  down and I “thought” about the entire situation as the solicitor explained various aspects of what was to happen. 

And I started to “think accurately”... and soon “realized” I had some “options” open to me where I could lower the amount the bank would take. 

So I “thought” though the “problem”... worked out “my options”... then took “action” by calling the bank... arranged an appointment  and was able to lower the amount substantially.

What is my point for this example?

Once I “mastered” my “emotional reaction” and started to “think accurately” about “my options”... I was able to find the “best solution” to my “problem.”

When you are “reacting” from an “emotional place” of “fear... anger... upset” and can only see an “impending disaster”... you “actually create” the disaster because that is all you can “see”... your “emotions” are doing your “thinking” for you... and “emotions” were NEVER evolved to THINK ACCURATELY! 

And when I caught myself being in that “emotional reactive  place” and stopped “reacting” in an “angry... upset” way... and started “thinking accurately” about the situation... a “solution” appeared just like that. 

Once I let my “emotions” go... even though the situation still required the relinquishing of some of the money to the bank... I was able to “understand” the ramifications of this situation and “realize” it was not nearly as "pessimistic" as my first “emotional reactions” had IMAGINED it to be... in the end... once I let go of my “emotional reactance” of the situation... and the “emotional resistance”... I came to “understand” there would be a really “optimistic outcome” in a way that I could “control”... which could not have happened any other way... if I was all “emotional... reacting” and “resisting”... and “thinking” distorted "pessimistic thoughts" about the bank... still the “imagining” of blowing up the bank... gave some satisfaction.

What I am saying is... that me and you have “no control” over the sudden “changes” in our life... the unexpected “curve balls” if you like... what we do have "control" over is "how" we "act" and "deal" with those "life curve ball" events!

We can come from a place off "optimistic opportunity" or "pessimistic reaction." 

Often we “unconsciously” create our own “curve balls” events by not “consciously” being “aware” and paying “attention” to the “detail” of our own life... and they can back to “hit” us when we least expect them... for us to “learn” a lesson... that we “ignored” or “missed” the first time... or perhaps a “life curve ball” will hit us and “transform” our life to go in a completely “new direction.”

It is all down to a matter of “perspective” when it comes to “life curve balls”... you can either view them as “pessimistic events” that mess up you life... or a “life curve ball” could be an “optimistic opportunity” to do new things... new direction... new perspective... a time for “transformation!"

It is all a matter of your “personal perspective” as the whether it will be “pessimistic” or “optimistic?”

And if you let your “emotions” run the show... instead of employing “accurate thinking”... you usually end up all over the place and in an even “bigger mess”... because your “emotions” distort your “thinking” dramatically!

When a “life curve ball” brings something that you “emotionally like” you “accept it” much more readily... and if you do not “emotionally like” the “life curve ball” you resist and fight it... even though there could be “great benefits” to that “curve ball event.”

When you fight and resist... you tend to “create” a battleground... and when your life becomes a battleground there is only chaos... turmoil... anger... fear... pain... defeat and even death... when events become out of “control” and desperate!

And when you can calmly “accurately think” about the situation and “manage the changes”... even when they do not “emotionally feel good”... you remain in “control” and you do the “choosing” of the “options” open to you and then are able to make the “best choice” that “benefits” you the most.  

Life is just life...  and is full of ups and downs... it is nether “good” nor “bad”... and when “curve balls” come your way... see them for what they are... just “problems” that can be full of “opportunities”... and different “perspectives” you were never “aware” off before. 

Do understand this... there is always a “bigger picture” with “options”... more to what you are “aware” off in the “emotional moment” and even though everything around you appears one way “pessimistic”... you might be surprised to what the “actual reality” is... the "benefits" that can be there... when you "calmly" and “accurately think" things through and what “your options” are!

How you “perceive” those “life curve ball” solely “your choice!”

So when you find yourself in a place you did not “imagine” being before... “know” that life just happens and whether or not it feels “pleasant” or feels “unpleasant”... you always have a “choice”... you always have “options”... and that is a BIG PLUS! 

The “plus” may not be evident as you are living through the “emotional experience”... yet at some point you will start to “think”...

“What can I do to deal with this situation?”

That is when your “options” will start “opening” up to you... and you can start to take “control” to sort out the situation... and it is better to “deal” with a “life curve ball” when it first hits... with “accurate thinking”... so you can consider your “options” and take “control” of the situation... and "get it sorted"... then waste “time” wallow in “emotional self pity” with "pessimistic thoughts" of  “why me?”

You  could win  a million pounds and be happy!

You could lose a million pounds and be unhappy!

You could win a million pounds and be unhappy”

You could lose a million pounds and be happy!

It is all a matter of “perspective” and “situational awareness” and “how” you play your cards in life... “optimistically smart” or  “pessimistically dumb”... so deal with it! 

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Ange is an  Author... Speaker... and International Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Psycho Dynamic Counsellor who works with men... and women who desire to "personally develop" themselves and their "relationships" to become Dynamic Lifers from around the World!

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