How Anyone Can Be Genuinely Charming

By Ange Fonce

Sure... everyone knows blunt... impolite... and even rude people who are somehow extremely "successful"... I know a bunch of them.

And since we are all more likely to do "business" and build "professional" and "personal relationships" with people we like... we are naturally drawn to people who are "polite... modest... agreeable" and "kind"... in short... people who are "charming."

I know a bunch of them too... and here is "how" they do it...

1... They always show they are genuinely glad to meet you... 

When you feel someone "gets" you... "respecting" your opinion... your point of view... your experience... whatever you are "communicating"... then you naturally "feel" more "important"... the other person does not have to agree with you... they just have to show they "respect" you.

How?

They maintain "eye contact"... they "smile" when you "smile"... they "frown" when you "frown"... they "nod" their head when you "nod"... in simple... "non verbal" ways, they "mirror" your "behaviour"... not in a slavishly way... because they are "focused" on what you are "saying."

That "mirroring" feedback loop helps two people bond... and the "ability to bond" is the "essence" of "charm."

2... They sometimes show a little vulnerability...

Charming people do not try to win any "unstated competitions" with people they meet... in fact... they actively try to lose... they are "complimentary"... they are "impressed"... they are even willing to admit their own "vulnerabilities" or a "failure."

Charming people are "confident" enough to be "unafraid" to show "vulnerability"... they "know" that while some people may be at least temporarily... "impressed" by what is "artificial"... everyone "sincerely" likes and "appreciates" the "genuine." 

3... They consistently search for agreement instead of contradiction...

Many people like to "discuss"... to "challenge"... to "advocate" for the lost cause... because "exchanging opinions"... especially "different opinions"... is how we separate the wheat from the "idea" chaff... what is "useful" and what is not... "automatic agreement" does not help anyone.

Unfortunately... going "contrary" is an "easy habit" to fall into... it is easy to "automatically" look for points of "disagreement" rather than "agreement"... it is easy to "automatically" take a "different side."

And it is easy to end up in what "feels" like an "argument."

Charming people do not "actively" or "unknowingly" look to "disagree"... they look for "points of agreement"... then if it is "appropriate"... they gently share a "different point of view" and in that way... help "create" an "outstanding conversation."

4... They selectively use the power of touch...

Non sexual touch can be "incredibly powerful"... and I am very aware that "sexual touch" can be powerful too...thanks.)

Touch can "influence behaviour" and increase the use of "compliance"... making the person doing the "touching" seem more "attractive" and "friendly."

For example...

In one experiment the participants tried to convey 12 different emotions by touching another blindfolded participant on the forearm... the rate of accuracy for perceiving emotions like fear... anger... gratitude... sympathy... love... and disgust ranged from 43 percent to 83 percent... without a word being spoken.

Say you are "congratulating" someone... shaking hands or possibly better yet... depending on the situation... patting them gently on the shoulder or upper arm can help "reinforce" the "sincerity" of your words.

5... They often laugh at themselves...

Charming people willingly "admit" their "mistakes"... they do not "mind" serving as a cautionary tale... they do not "mind" being a source of "laughter"... for others and for themselves.

And they are also not afraid to look a little silly... skating in a cowboy outfit may be a little extreme... yet charming people do not mind occasionally being in a situation where they are not at their best.

And oddly enough... people tend to "respect" them more for that... not less.

When you own your foibles... people do not laugh at you... they laugh with you... and they realize it is okay to let down their own guards and meet you at a "genuine level."

6... They are masters of social manners...  

Some people have a knack for getting you to "talk openly" yourself... they ask "open ended questions"... they "sincerely" want to know what you "think"... and that makes you open up to a surprising degree... you "feel" like the most "interesting" man or woman in the world.

And you like them for making you "feel" that way.

As soon as you learn something about someone... ask "why" they do it... or "how"... or "what" they like about it... or what they have "learned" from it... charming people ask "sincere questions" that make it easy to "answer" in a "thoughtful... introspective" way. 

They make you "think" in a good way about yourself... and in the process make you "feel" charming too.

7... They always pass the waiter test... 

Some people put on a great show in certain situations... and they do not try nearly as hard when they "think" a person is beneath them... I like to call it the waiter test... if you really want to "know" how an individual treats people... take him or her to lunch... and "observe" how he or she "interacts" with the waiter is a much better "indication" of his or hers "interpersonal skills" than how he or she  "interacts" with you.

Charming people treat everyone the same way... as deserving of "respect" and "kindness."

8... They are great with names... 

If there is anything worse than that "sinking feeling" you get when you forget someones name... especially someones name you really should remember... it is realizing that another person has forgotten your name... and maybe does not even remember who you are.

Charming people "remember names" and even "small details" often to a surprising degree... the fact they "remember instantly" makes us "feel" a little "prouder" and a little "better" about ourselves. 

And that makes us "feel better" about them.

Charming people remember names and...

9... They never name drop... 

I have a friend who somehow manages to squeeze the fact he once met Cliff Richard into every conversation.

Charming people may "know" cool people... and they do not talk about it... and that only adds to their "charm."

10... They always say less... 

Charming people already "know" what they "know"... they want to "know" what you "know."

And that makes you "feel important."

Because you are! 

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely



Ange is an  Author... Speaker... and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist... Sexologist... who works with men and women who desire to "personally develop" themselves and their "relationships" to become Dynamic Lifers... "creators" of their own life and wealth!



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