How Anger Can Affect Your Sexual Connection And Love Life

By Ange Fonce

If you are a woman reading this... you “know” all too well that a man who can share AUTHENTIC intensity and “passion” in the bedroom is as rare as a natural blue diamond... and about ten times more “desirable.”

And if you're a man... what  I am about to share with you is “how” you can make your woman “feel” fortunate to have you.

I recently had a consultation with a married couple about their “sex life” and become aware of a “powerful connection” in their “relationship”… that was having a "detrimental effect" on their "sex life" that I figured out... and it was  obvious to me... yet not to them. 

From a very early age we are taught to CONTROL our “emotions”...  and an amazing number of adults “never quite learn” that “skill” of "mastering" our "emotions" and not "controlling" them... and you know who you are if that is you.

And in many... many cases in modern life it is “extremely important” to have this “ability” to “master” our “emotions”... it makes civilized communities of humans and “healthy relationships” possible. 

Unfortunately a huge number of adults got confused along the way and “learned” the wrong message... it is that word "control" that causes all the confusion.

Instead of “mastering” their “emotions”... they began to HIDE their "emotions"... especially when it comes to men... for many men... “emotions” are something to be “ashamed“ of when women show and express their “emotions”... many men are often irritated... and women are left “feeling” weak or just “misunderstood.”

So back to that consultation with the married couple...

We were talking about “relationship issues” and at one point he said to me that he never shows his wife his “real anger”... he waits for her to leave... and then once alone... he lets it out… screams... breaks something... whatever. 

In that moment I had an “insight” into their “sex life” that was causing "problems" throughout their "relationship."

I suggested to them that if they were up for some potentially difficult “truth telling”... I would enjoy giving them some coaching around their “sex life”... as they already “knew” that I do this and have a  “tribe” of readers and clients who enjoy massively better “sexual intimacy” through my personal coaching... live workshops... and published articles.

They looked at each other for a moment and then nodded in agreement.

I said to the Husband...

"I am going to go out on a limb here... yet I am thinking that the way you show up in your life... is the way you show up in bed... hiding your intensity in... your anger probably means you are playing small in bed too and I will say that your wife would love to feel more of your authentic passion and unfiltered desire in bed."

She looked at him for a moment... saw that he was “open” and not “defensive”... and then nodded fiercely and said... 


His eyes widened a bit... he  did expected that.

So I continued and said... 

"I will bet a £100 here and now...that there are things you would love to do to her... and that you are hiding or holding back because you are not sure how she would react."

He could have easily screwed me over at this point and lied... and I would have been down £100.

He thought about it a bit and then said... 

"Well... I don't know... what I want to do is what she enjoys... it turns me on to turn her on."

This is about the most "common response" I always get from men... so no surprise here.

So I said this to him... 

"What if I said to you... that what turns her on the most is when you are DOING TO HER what turns YOU on the most... she loves to feel you ENJOYING yourself... ENJOYING her?"

She started nodding vigorously again. 

So I took them through something you may have heard me say many times…

“Now... imagine that your lover is touching you or going down on you... and really doing everything they know to drive you crazy with pleasure as they do it... that would feel really  damn good... wouldn't you agree right?”

They both replied...


And I continued...

“Now imagine... that your lover is touching you or going down on you… and instead of  focusing on giving you pleasure... they are completely going crazy with desire and lust and TAKING pleasure from touching you... they are indulging their own sexual desire to have you... you would both be wanting to totally “f69k each other wouldn't you?”

Again they both agreed... 


And I “noticed” that this time they were both “looking” at each other “intently!”

I continued on...
“If you close your eyes and imagine both... you will almost certainly agree that the second one is about a thousand time hotter...  and yet MOST of us do not have the sexual confidence to just do that… to just take pleasure and treat our lover as a delicious sex object for our own indulgence... and that is exactly what our lover wants.”

And as I said this I was looking directly into the eyes of the Husband and I told him that he needed to start showing her this side of his “desire”… showing her his “authentic passion”… both in and out of the bedroom.

This is the scary bit for the vast majority of men… I told him that he ought to show her his “true masculine anger” too. 

Now obviously that does NOT mean he should “hit her” or “verbally abuse” her... there is a point where we must CONTROL our “impulses”... yet that does not mean that we need to HIDE them.

Especially not when we are hiding the “darker sexual energies... emotions” and “desires” of both being in our “masculinity” and “feminine” sensuality and “sexual energy” with each other!

Here is the email I received from her a few days later...

“Ange, Ange, Ange!”

WOW! I thoroughly loved the consultation session and will highly recommend it to others if given the opportunity. [husband] and I went home and felt more connected and in sync than ever. 

Oh and had great sex! 

You really hit the nail on the head regarding [husband] not fully expressing all of his emotions and I really needed to hear that. I’m not sure how long it would have taken me to discover that on my own. 

Your advice gave us another key piece of information to growing even deeper. 

You are brilliant. Thank you so much for your raw honesty and your fucking intensity. God! I love that about you. 

I’m really glad that we got to bond a bit more. [husband] & I are so fortunate to have you in our lives. Your words of wisdom and insight are priceless. We are definitely going to rely on you as one of our pillars of strength. 

We are always here for you to offer what we can. […] we are so in love and committed to evolving to our highest levels, individually and as one. I know that having you on our team will be a key component of our success. 

Love you Ange!"

Think it “feels good” to receive that from clients who have become friends as well?

Bet your ass it does... and it feels good to “share it” with you too in the Tribe.

The “challenge” I put to you is “growing the confidence” and the “self trust” to start “sharing” more of your “true self”... from your “emotions” to your “desires”...with your romantic partner or partners in life. 

Because having more “personal confidence” and “self trust” which grows into “powerful sexual confidence” is “exactly” what you need most to be more “authentic” and “passionate” in your "relationships." 

And this is “exactly” what Dynamic Life Development Systems is all about! 

As always... leave a man or woman all the "better" for "knowing" you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Ange is an  Author... Speaker... Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... who works with men and women on line and real world who desire to "personally develop" themselves and their "relationships" to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life and wealth!

Recommended Reading...

How to be in Masculine and Feminine Polarity For Passionate Sex‏

By Ange Fonce

Please Be Aware This Article Contains Content of An Intimate Nature!

I will start this article with a little story...

I was at the bank the other day... the woman teller said to me... 

“Lets pop that in right away.”

I smiled at her and “cheekily” replied”... 

“Yes please... that would be nice!”

And she blushed!

We then had a brief “conversation” in the bank about “sex!”

I said... 

“That a woman is m...

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