Giving Value First So She Can Commit to You

By Ange Fonce

Before a woman agrees to interrupt what she is doing and spend time talking to you... you need to provide some value first.

Most men do not understand this basic principle and therefore come off as losers when they approach women and want to get to know them... they typically try to GET value... like get the woman to talk to them before displaying any value of their own.

The usual conversation will go like this...

"Hey babe... can I buy you a drink?" 

"You are so hot... what's your name?" 

"Come here often?"

Why does this rarely works for most men?

It is basic human psychology as people want to know that an investment whether it is in time... attention and money is going to be worth it BEFORE they commit to it.

What to do then?

To consistently have women attracted to you... you FIRST have to show that you have a lot going for you... that you are an attractive man with much value to add to their life THEN they will more than welcome your approach and want to know more.

WHAT you say and HOW you say it can be tweaked to display those attractive qualities in the first few seconds. 

In this article I go into how you can develop and show your value to women...

Building Your Masculine Confidence For Your Life And Connecting With Women

Now let us move onto the next step...

The First Step To Having The Best Sexing Of Your Life

The first step to having the best sexing of your life in a committed relationship is the process of getting to know each other. 

Getting to know each others bodies... preferences and what turns each other on and even learning about each others fears and insecurities.

Yet there are couples that have not managed to take this journey into discovering each other despite great communication in many other areas of their lives... so what stops men from truly knowing their own wife or girlfriend?

Fear and this fear comes from many places. 

Sometimes it is shame... the fear that SHE may get to know HIM too and that she might not like what she finds. 

Sometimes it is guilt from religion or our parents or something that happened to us as children. 

And sometimes it is just the fear that we might not measure up or that we are not sure we know what we are doing.

A lot of men think that if their wife or girlfriend REALLY knew the sexing thoughts going on in their heads that she would be repulsed or angry. 

This is generally untrue and what IS TRUE is that our fear of our own sexuality keeps us from ever really discovering the true sexing nature of our partner... we each live in our secret world of fear where we pretend for each other that we are not insecure or that we never think any sexing thoughts when we are not in bed together.

The best thing to do is to BEGIN a relationship with open sexual communication... to make communicating about sexing easy and guilt free and most importantly... free of JUDGEMENT. 

And what so often ruins and kills relationships... judgement based on myths and beliefs that are so often just plain bullshit and untrue

Common Myths That Ruin Relationships

The problem with the "you complete me" model of relationships is simple maths.

The myth trumpets that I am less than whole and with you I can be restored to whole... people think... 

'I'm half and you're half and together we make a whole." 

And human beings are not additive... we are dynamic... this kind of relationship turns into multiplication... a half times a half is a fourth and you end up with less than when you started.

This myth is completely untrue.

As a person and professional I often see the fractional fallout from that and other romantic fallacies too often and I will elaborate on a few points.

1... In much of todays marriage and relationship advice I hear two contradictory messages the first is... 

"Be careful who you marry." 

The second is... 

"Marriage is challenging with anyone so who you marry does not matter as much as who you are."

You have got to flip the order of those. 

If you take care of the first step... knowing who you are... the second almost takes care of itself... the more you are tuned into what you need... the less likely you are to partner with someone who does not make you feel good about yourself. 

Whereas if you do not know what it is like to feel good... you are much more likely to be swept up in a relationship based on chemistry and novelty and less likely to find someone who is a good match for you to connect with.

2... Lets make a deal... the barter economy marriage.

An example of this is... 

"I will stay home and watch the kids while you earn the money." 

There is nothing inherently wrong with that as long as everyone is bartering in trust and that the agreements are continually assessed. 

There is another piece like what is going on socio economically... 10 or even 15 years ago people made this deal and then all of a sudden they lost their job.... I actually think these economy hard times has done more than anything else to reveal the heart and soul of marriages... people in the 90s were distracting themselves from their marriage with hobbies and trips and creature comforts... now people cannot afford to jet set off on the weekend. 

You can learn a lot more about people when you are having a family game night when you are sitting around the table playing Monopoly like we did in the old days.  

People did not realize they had marriage problems until the economy went south... maybe the stay at home spouse is thinking... 

"This is not the deal I signed on for." 

If they picked their spouse based on that and only that then they are going to be left really questioning their choice.

You have to have the flexibility and wherewithal to really dig deep and find out what your priorities are and allow your happiness to rest on your sense of centre.

3... Why Is Being Married Important?

If there is abuse... if it was never a good match and you cannot be your best self in this marriage and your spouse cannot then divorce maybe is an option and if the marriage problems stem from the issues that reside within you... you are going to take those issues into your next relationship

It is kind of like somebody has their first marriage and it does not work out and then their second marriage and then their third... after several marriages the person asks... 

"What did all of these marriages have in common?" 

The answer is Me. 

And a simple answer to that question is...

"If you are not happy being yourself what makes you think you will be happy being married?"

No ONE individual can complete another individual.

It is an impossibility!

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Dynamic Lifer

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist... Sexologist and Multipreneur... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

4... If you are Happy and you Know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!

To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation for what you would like help with CLICK HERE

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