Focused Optimists Become More Successful In Life Then Pessimists 

By Ange Fonce 

How your "thinking" and "personal attitude" in processing failure... determines whether you will "succeed" or not in the future.

It has long been known to psychologists and now neuroscience is providing the evidence... that stressful situations trigger the primal drive of  “fight...flight” response within our brain... this is useful in life threatening situations were your instinct is to survive... not so useful in relationship and business situations...  where a cool head and "calm thinking” works best in a crisis.

The “fight...flight” response tells your brain and nervous system to take immediate physical action... when you are in a “threatening situation” to your survival... this response can also be triggered when you are experiencing “emotional flooding”... by “feeling” threatened. 

At home or at work... that is most likely to manifest itself via an emotional explosion or storming out of the room... these reactions only make a bad situation worse.

In other words... a “fight...flight” response in an “emotionally charged” situation is a failure to appropriately gauge the seriousness of a situation... your brain is releasing chemicals intended to save your life during an attack of some kind... when all that is really happening the vast majority of the time... is complete “miscommunication” and lack of “understanding” of what  is being said or happening.

A more open... calm... optimistic... and “listening” attitude makes it less likely you will jump into “fight... flight”...  because you are less likely to interpret a situation as a dire disaster. 

The way you explain setbacks... mistakes... and disappointments to yourself can dramatically affect your outcomes... whether your thoughts are pessimistic or optimistic will affect the choices you make and actions you take.

It is therefore in your interest to cultivate an optimistic attitude about failure... because it reduces your emotional need and will reduce your stress of a “fight... flight” reaction... this frees you to make better decisions... especially when things are happening quickly.

To cultivate an optimistic attitude about failure... you must change your inner dialogue with yourself so that it characterizes failure as impersonal... impermanent... avoidable... and limited rather than personal... permanent... inevitable... and pervasive.

So let me share with you... 5 basic tips to handle failure with a “positive” and “optimistic” attitude and save yourself a lot of negative stress in the process.

1... Do not take failure personally

Pessimists tend to take failure personally... they think that the problems are the result of who they are rather than what they did... often thinking about them selves... 

"I am a born loser."

Optimists tend to take failure far more philosophically... and as part of the process towards acquiring “success”... they see problems as puzzles they must solve and “learn” from to succeed in the future... they will think... 

"What must I do differently?"

2... Treat failure as a temporary event

Pessimists tend to see failure as permanent... they convince themselves that trying after you have failed is beating your head against a brick wall... 

"That did not work, so why bother?"

Optimists tend to see failure as temporary setback... a “challenge” to overcome...  they think that failure is a signal to try a different approach based upon what they have learned... 

"That did not work... yet me try this approach."

3... Take responsibility for your failures

Pessimists blame their failures on fate... karma or whatever... they think their failures are the inevitable result of some outside force that they cannot control... 

"I always have bad luck."

Optimists focus on what they could have done differently... they think that failure results from their mistakes within the context of what they are doing possible... 

"I understand where I made my mistake."

4... Keep failure in perspective

Pessimists blow their failure out of proportion to what actually happened... their failure seems so huge to them that everything else in life becomes unimportant... their failure becomes their focus for everything... 

"Why do these things always happen to me?"

Optimists see failure as being limited in scope in consideration of the BIG picture... if anything they take failure as an “opportunity” to “learn” from... on their road to success. 

"I learned a tough lesson... now it is time to move on."

5... Encourage optimism in others

Pessimists secretly want optimists to fail... because misery loves company... pessimists resent those who reject their negative spin... 

“This sucks!"

Optimists openly want pessimists to succeed... they work for the WIN WIN... they know negative thinking makes things worse... so they work to cheer pessimists up... 

"Maybe it is not as bad as you think."

And to close this article... here is a thought for you...

Men and women who possess a more optimistic... positive personal attitude to life are seen as far more "attractive"... confident... likable... dynamic...and yes "sexier"... then men and women who are pessimistic in their personal attitude and put a "negative" spin and "downer"  on everything.

The "optimist" have it... when creating success! 

As always... leave a man or woman all the "better" for "knowing" you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Recommended Reading...

How You FRAME Your Thinking Can Be The Difference 
Between Success And Failure 

By Ange Fonce

The words you use do not just "express" what you are "thinking" and "feeling"... they also tell your brain "how to think and feel."

So "self talk" has a major "impact" of your life... you come from a "pessimistic frame"... what I call the "poverty mindset"... then that is what you will "create" in your life... "pessimism... poverty... loser."

Losers use words that make them bigger "losers"... bigger "pes...

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