Do You Use Your "Mistakes" to be Your "Stepping Stones" to SUCCESS?

By Ange Fonce

"Those who never made a mistake never made a discovery." ~ Samuel Smile

I make "mistakes."  

Mistakes are how I learn the best... and I have made plenty of them in my lifetime... so I naturally consider myself to be a well learned person.  

It makes sense... at least to me.  

When I have studied anything that has interested me and is a help for my own "personal development"... the easiest way for me to "internalize" something... was when someone or my own "reflective thinking" corrected me after I made a mistake.  

If I am learning something "new" I "learn" the most when I make a "mistake" and I by pulling the "mistake" apart I see the "better way" to do something through the my "error"... or I see "why" someone told me to do something a "certain way"... for I have learned the "consequences" of not doing it that way... I go and "repeat" the same "mistake" again.

The argument could be made though... and I will make it... that this type of thing could be more "effectively classified" as "error" rather than "mistake."  

In my past.. the "mistakes" are "actions" that affect me strongly in a very painful way... I would "think" about them for days... I regret them tremendously... and sometimes I beat myself up "emotionally" over them... that I had not done what I had intended to do.  

I have been fortunate in that I have not made all that many of this type of "mistake"... yet they have been there... I have wounded other people.

The important thing for me to keep in "mind" about this "type of mistake" is that it invariably "affects" other people very strongly.  

My "words" have hurt or offended others... and have taken away... if only a little bit... from the "positiveness" of their lives... their "happiness" or "peace of mind" is diminished because of something I have done.  

I have said something rude or ignorant that was better left unsaid... or I have done something that hurts someone else... or I have not taken someones "feelings" into consideration before taking an "action"... I have left someone out... or I have misjudged someone or their actions. 

A small example of what I mean... from years ago when I was very young...  

We were on a school bus... taking a field trip down to a local Zoo.  

I was sitting in the front seat... and two girls were sitting behind me... one girls name was Debbie and I do not remember who the other one was.  

Debbie started teasing me mildly and I tried teasing back and it just did not work...  she kept it up... nothing vicious and nothing mean... until I had just had enough.  

I turned around and said something to the effect of "shut up bitch"...  I was about 12 and I still had not learned the "strength of words."

The look on her face taught me about that "strength"...  she was crushed and I could see the shock and the hurt in her eyes and in her face.  

I shut her up... definitely... and had it been worth it?  

Of course not... that little scene stays in my thoughts to this day...  as a reminder when ever I have been an "idiot"... and "stupid" with my words... and I do not want to forget it... and here is why...  

I see two ways of dealing with that memory.  

First of all... I can continue to be angry with myself for having said what I said...  I can call myself names such as insensitive and rude and uncaring... and I can continue to feel bad... diminishing my own enjoyment of my life and current situations.  

And what does that accomplish... does it help me in any way... does it "benefit" me in any way?  

Not a bit.

The other "option" is the one I "choose" to take with all of my mistakes... I "learn" from it.  

I carry the look on Debbie's face with me and I carry my own "reaction"... the "what have I done" feeling... and I use them to help me "determine future actions."  

Whenever I am tempted to say something rather harsh to someone else or I have said something harsh to someone else no matter how deserving that person may seem to be of my harshness... I "think" of the "possible consequences" and I think of "how" Debbie "felt" that day and how I "felt"... I cannot take back my words... yet I can "change" the way I deal with people in order to prevent such a thing from happening again... or when it does happen to "correct" my mistake and take "responsibility" for my words and actions.  

I can be "constructive... productive" and "helpful... caring" towards others rather than vindictive... hateful and destructive.

A trivial example?  

Sort of and as an illustration of how I go about "learning from my mistakes"... a good example.  

Too often though... I see others adding "more mistakes" to their "original one"... they get angry with themselves... and they are unable to "accept" their "mistakes".... and they make themselves miserable... even sick... over things they have done that they cannot take back... and it is not worth it though.  

Learn from your mistakes and move on... and make "efforts" to avoid making them again.  

Consider your "avoidance" of such "mistakes" in the future as a "tribute" to the person or people you have hurt... and I am sure they will be more than "understanding" of you.  

If not... then that becomes "their problem"... does it not... if you have made the "efforts" to change things?

Also worth noting... though... is the fact that I learn from the "mistakes" of others.  

Growing up with a father who had "real anger problems"... I learned very early of the pain and anguish that anger issues can cause... I was fortunate... in a way to learn this early... and to work to the other side of the spectrum... although there are times my "hot buttons" are pushed and I seek to resolve the "issues" as quick as possible... I am "human" and still make mistakes. 

My brother and sister were not so fortunate 

They did not see the "results" of my fathers "actions"... even though they lived with him too... and they "adopted" the same "types of behaviour."  

If you see a person making such a "mistake" in your life... "learn" from that person... and do not make yourselves and others miserable by "adopting behaviours" that you have seen "hurts others."

You are going to make mistakes.  

You are human.  

Learn from them.  

Carry with you the lessons from them... not the "regret" or the "actions" themselves. 

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Ange is an  Author... Speaker... and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist who works with men and women on line and real world who desire to "personally develop" themselves and their "relationships" to become Dynamic Lifers... "creators" of their own life and wealth!

Recommended Reading...

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By Ange Fonce

Why is that MIGHT so often wins over what is RIGHT? 

How come the world is so unfair?

Maybe... it is because the other tribe took the time and invested the effort and took "action" to build a movement. 

They showed up every time... again and again. 

They become "organised"... disciplined and FOCUSED... and they never contemplated the "thought" that they could lose... even though they might be wrong... not as "intelligent"...

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