Do You Use "Qualifying Questions" When Meeting People? 

By Ange Fonce
 
Whether it is a “business interaction”... a “personal conversation” or even “meeting up” with a stranger for the first time “social courting”... this “technique” can “transform” you into an an “authority” in a matter of minutes.
 
What is this “technique” you may ask? 
 
Keep on reading! 
 
One of my favourite methods of asking “questions” is to make use of what is called the “qualifying question”... what is a “qualifying question” you might ask? 

It is a "question" that when asked... puts the “listener” in a position where they have to “justify” to you “why” you should be “talking” to them in the first place... and why is this “valuable” to you? 

Because with one “crafted” and well delivered “qualifying question”... you can go from the one doing the “chasing” to the one being “chased”... it is a “subtle shift”... and it can really turn around the “power dynamics” to you being the “authority” to the one that you are speaking to. 
 
Let me give you a couple of examples...
 
Let us imagine you are in a business meeting and you are “speaking” to a prospect about a service that you would like to provide for them... towards the end of your presentation... you could say something like this...
 
“Prospect Name... I have talked a bit about the services that we can provide and if we decide to move forward... I think that it will be a profitable decision for both of us... and I also like to have fun with the partners that I take on... tell me... what would be fun about working with your company?”
 
Now although "fun" may not be your thing... you can replace the word “fun” with whatever you would like to “gain” from working with a particular company... and did you see the shift there? 

Now instead of being “presented” to... your prospect has to “justify” to you... to a degree... “why” they would be a “fun” company to work with... you have “switched” the “power dynamics” around... and you can do this in “job interviews” too... what is the company “offering” you?
 
Instead of you “chasing” the prospect... you are now making him or her “chase” you!
 
Here is another example... for the “mating game.” 

Imagine you are in a bar and you see a beautiful woman across the room and you find her "attractive"... you “realize” that she has probably heard every pick up line that there is... and I can assure you “beautiful women” have just about heard every “pick up” line there is... so to “stand out” to “catch” her “attention”... you will have to be "different."
 
So you approach her and at this point I want to stress... it is not just about the “verbal words” you use... it is more about the “non verbal”... HOW you "deliver" those words... you can say... in playful voice...
 
"Give me 3 good reasons why I should consider buying you a drink and let you “flirt” with me."
 
Just by saying an “opening line” like that... instantly makes you “different”... instead of the usually sausage stuff that comes from everyday sausages... like asking for her number... or telling her how beautiful she is... yawn... or saying something that she has heard a million times before... you instantly made yourself “different” and put yourself in a “position” of “authority”... where she has to “justify” to you in a playful way... “why” you should be willing to buy her a drink... and let her “flirt” with you.

There is a lot that goes on between and a Man and a Woman when they first “meet up”... and it is for the Man to “set” the “tone” right from the start... by being the Confident Masculine Authority!
 
The beauty of these “qualifying questions” is that providing they are “delivered” within the “context” of the “conversation”... they are very “natural sounding.” 
 
And although these are “simple qualifying questions”... do not “underestimate” the “subtle shift” in the “power dynamics” they “create”... to move from the one “chasing” to the one being “chased” is huge “dynamic” shift.. and it can happen with one little well crafted and delivered “qualifying question.” 
 
And just as “important” as the shift is... so is the “dynamics” of  the “psychological stance” that you “create” by asking the “qualifying question”... because when you think about it... who do we “chase?“
 
We “chase” the one who is the “authority”... the one who sets the “tone” and that is who you can become when you become “skilled” at "framing" and “asking” these “qualifying questions.”

Now... start to “think” about “qualifying questions” and where you can use them in your day to day interactions.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely



Ange is an  Author... Speaker... and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist who works with men and women on line and real world who desire to "personally develop" themselves and their "relationships" to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life and wealth!

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Any idea what these two very "powerful words" are? 

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"What if." 

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