Did you know that feeling sorry for yourself can actually be constructive when done in a positive way?  

"Constructive Compassion"...  is not about a failure of backbone... and courage... it is an occasion for self-compassion... and an opportunity to learn about... and become... "aware"... of  your negative thinking... which triggers an... "emotional response"... that fires of the memory of your fears... constructive compassion can be a time... where you can gain a better understanding of your triggers... and work through them. 

In fact... done correctly... a good... thoughtful wallow can help you eliminate the fear of failure that may be holding your back... yet... you have to follow the right procedure... here are 3 basic steps...

Get To Know... And Be Aware Of  Your Fear

Sure... you fear failure... just like the rest of us do on some level... the question is why exactly? 

Do you think people will judge you as overly mighty... or self involved if your ambitions are too large?
 
Do you think you will be unmasked as less competent than you present yourself? 

What does failure mean to you? 

Ask yourself these questions... and write down your answers.

Instead of hiding from your painful... and sometimes irrational thinking... get to know your own thoughts... and write them down... no matter how petty... or silly they sound. 

The more you accept these thoughts... and get to understand them... the less they will be able to control your feelings... and in turn... your behavior... if you are not sure what your fear of failure is about... take a cue from themes swirling around in your family when you were growing up.

List several... "family values"... like security... sharing... selflessness...humility... and love... that often cause many men and women to have confused... and irrational  thinking... and conflicted feelings about risking failure when they are growing more mature.

Be Compassionate To Yourself

Fear of failing... most often has its roots deep from within our early lives... so getting tough with yourself...  and giving yourself a... "hard time"... is about as effective as yelling at a crying two year old... the World is tough enough with out you "beating up"... on yourself.

Would you... "beat up"... on a child?

Showing compassion to yourself is more likely to help you overcome the blocks that stop you from taking the risks you need to reach your full potential.

Picture your fear as a... "frightened child"... with his... or her heels dug in... children who are scared need reassurance.. not ridicule... rather than mocking him or her... try to understand what has made that child worried... in understanding what that child's fears... you will gain an... "insight"... and understanding into you own fears.

Take Steady Steps Forward

Really think about your own... "thoughts"... and how they impact on your feelings... and behaviours by showing yourself some compassion... does help ease your fear of failure... and going forward.

I suggest that you take things slow... and steady as you move on from a disappointment... find the... "balance point"... that keeps you moving toward your goal at a pace that feels do-able for you... do not underestimate the effectiveness of constant... steady steps in the direction towards your goal... in the rebuilding of your confidence... by the time you get there you will be more ready to be where you want to be.

We all make mistakes... SUCCESSFUL men... and women make by far the most... the difference is... the successful learn from their mistakes... face their fears... and understand them.

And in understanding their fears... they make... "changes"... and master them.

Are you being overly... "critical"... and unhelpfully tough with yourself when you face failure?

May You Enjoy A Prosperous And Productive Day.

Yours Sincerely


Ange Fonce