Do You Know The Rule Of 3?

By Ange Fonce

Three is the key when it comes to reading someone's non-verbel body language

One of the biggest mistakes people make when they are out practicing reading non verbal language is making an assumption about one particular gesture or movement.

For example... 

If someone were to cross their arms you might assume they are bored or upset, yet crossed arms alone are not enough to give you that information... they may just be cold. 

When studying someone's body language do not make an assumption based on only one gesture or movement.

When I first started studying social intelligence, I used three pieces of evidence to support what I felt about the person's feelings.

I looked at the feet, the hands, and the head/face.

When you are trying to understand whether someone is attracted and feels comfortable with you, this same rule of three applies.

I am looking for three Indicators of Interest.

I want to gather evidence to support that the other person is interested in me.

Here are a few things I look for:

Was this person touching me more now, than they were earlier in the interaction?

Are their feet pointing towards me? 

If I move, do their feet move to follow me... like I am north, and their feet are a compass needle?

Is this person standing closer to me than they were previously?

Is this person emotionally engaged more than they were earlier? 

Laughing and smiling more, changing their opinion to match mine, more intensely focused on the conversation.

Is this person mirroring (imitating) me in small ways?

Is this person finding reasons to compliment me?

When I compliment this person, does it have an emotional impact?

If I want to move somewhere else, does this person follow along?

If this person’s friends leave, do they stay behind with me?

Is this person willing to move to a more intimate place with me? 

Like from standing to sitting on a couch?

Did this person go out of their way for me? Buy me a drink? Some food? 

Hold on to something for me while I walked off for a minute?

This person asks you, without prompting, what your name is, what you do for work, where you are from, or how old you are.

You lean back, and they lean toward you.

They change their opinion of a song, movie, or current event based on your opinion.

You make a joke, and no one in the group laughs just them.

If it is a woman you ask for their hand to lead them somewhere, they take it, and squeeze it — you can loosen your hand, to see if they hold on – an even better indicator.

Obviously, these are not the only ways that someone can show they are interested in you. 

There Are Many More.

You want to be on the lookout for them. If you are just starting to work on improving your social intelligence, make sure to write down any more indicators that you might have seen after a night out or social event.

Your goal is to become more socially aware of them.

And remember, in most cases, one gesture alone is not enough to say... 

"This person is attracted and interested in me." 

Use the rule of three so that when it is time to ask to move the interaction forward in a more social or if you are in one on one situation a more intimate direction, you can be more confident that everyone's going to be comfortable with taking it there. 

To your success.

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

Ange is an Dynamic Personal Development, Strategy and Assesment Coach who works with those men and women who want to develop their confidence, influence, relationships, health and wealth! 

To Speak to Ange and arrange a free consultation CLICK HERE

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