Do You Give Yourself Permission To Fail?

By Ange Fonce

Dear Reader and Dynamic Lifer...

There is a quote attributed to the famous Irish playwright Samuel Beckett that gets thrown around a lot when people talk about failure...

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”

It is a good line... such words to always keep in mind.

Indeed whatever it is you are striving for... the right extra income stream... the right investment... the right trade even the right partner... this idea of failing repeatedly is an important one.

And it is important for two reasons...

In todays article I would like to share my thoughts with you about failure because I will be truthful... I have failed many times and yet I count my failures as stepping stones to ultimately succeeding in what I have set out to do.

I see failure as part of the deal to succeeding and the first important point is that it reminds us that it is okay to fail... that “no matter” is there for a reason.

It is okay... failing in and of itself is not a destructive thing... providing you learn from it and do not make the same mistakes again then it can be one of the best ways to learn in being constructive in what ever you are developing and making better in what you are  working towards acquiring and achieving.

Yet in the meantime there is the real problem about failure...

So often the one thing stopping us from acquiring and achieving something is not the money needed... the resource required or time we must invest... it is the idea that you could fail and not the actual action of failing that is the problem... the real problem is the idea in your mind of failing that blocks you from succeeding.

Just think for a minute of the last time you thought about trying something new... whatever it may be and did not go through with it because you thought you might fail.

Got something in mind?

Okay... now hold that thought for a moment...

Because I am willing to bet that the reason you did not go through with it was not actually the fact that you might physically fail because the truth is failure is just an every day event in life


The Act Of Failure Itself IS NOT The Problem.

The act of failing is so common... we all fail constantly in some small way on an almost daily basis... if you had seen me attempting to redecorate my conservatory this past weekend... you would have seen a series of almost slapstick failures and of course behind closed doors those failures do not matter... the only person that sees the failing is you and you are soon able to laugh about it and it is soon forgotten.

No... the act of failing itself is NOT the problem.

The problem is how you think and feel your peers and the public at large will perceive your failure... it is the reflection of your failure in other people that often holds you back from trying something at which you might fail... you have a problem with personal esteem in how others perceive you!

This is an important distinction to understand between the act of failing and the perception of a failure... now you may think and feel this is a bit crude in what I am going to say next and frankly I do not care.

Above my desk in my old office that I am moving out off I have printed on a piece of paper this saying...

"The true definition of CONFIDENCE is... lovingly not giving a F69K!"

It is important because if you can remember that the failure itself is not the problem and is in fact simply an exercise in learning then you will be much more confidently be able to dismiss any destructive perception others have of you... like whenever you are met by mockery or cynicism towards a failed attempt at something... take a moment to identify who it is dishing out the mockery and destruction... they may not be the best person to have around in your life and if the person you feel embarrassed to fail in front of is a loved one... a family member or someone you respect and that respect is the very reason you are scared to fail in front of them... then my advice is to tackle it head on.

And as the second part of my saying goes...

"The true definition of LOVE... lovingly giving a F69K!"

So talk to the person and explain that you would like to try to launch a business idea for example and because you have respect for their opinion you are concerned that they might think it is a silly idea or would think less of you if you fail.

I guarantee that the person will hear you out and most likely support what you are doing and rather than worrying about failing them... you will now be motivated and committed to focus on succeeding instead and you most likely have their full support because contrary to popular belief... loving and generous people really do like helping others to succeed... it is the selfish and envious ones with the attitude of "what is in it for me"... you are to avoid like the plague.

So the first important point to think about here is separating the act of failing itself from the reflection of your failure in others.

Give yourself permission to fail and forget about what others think... it does not matter... what matters is what you think and feel about yourself first!

The only exception I would make to that rule... is listening to a successful mentor who has succeeded themselves... their wisdom could be invaluable to you... do not listen to Tom... Dick or Debbie who has zilch success to their name... what the hell do they know... all they have is their opinion and does that matter?

If it could benefit you in what you are doing... then give it serious consideration... if not... forget it.

As for the second key point I would like to discuss is from Becketts quote... 

It is the idea that it is in fact constructive to fail and that each time you should “fail better.”

The Wright Brothers crumpled glider no 2 wrecked on Hill October 10 1900

And as I remind myself and share with my clients one of my own sayings...

"Learn to crash well so you can quickly go flying again and improve your ability to be able to fly better!"

The Wright Brothers did not learn to fly in a day... they experimented with various ideas and each failure was a constructive step forward to developing the design that worked and they flew and created history by man being able to take to the skies by sustained powered flight instead of just gliding on the wind.

Their success was built upon a whole sequence of constructive failures by themselves and others who were attempting the same thing... man being able to master the ability to fly by powered flight.

And they were the ones who succeeded first by developing a workable design that did the job!

No it was not perfected by a long way... yet it did the job and it worked and the refining of that basic design has been an ongoing development process ever since... getting better and better all the time... just like personal development!

So to wind up this article with some final thoughts from me...

1... Avoiding a problem with foresight and good design and planning is an effective and highly leveraged way to do your work in developing your success.

2... Extinguishing a problem before it gets expensive and difficult is almost as good and far better than paying a premium in time... money and resources when there is an emergency.

3... Fretting about an impending problem... worrying about it... imagining the implications of it... the but and maybe... all of this is worthless.

Now "what could happen if..." is a constructive way of thinking and would be very valuable and of benefit to you!

Dynamic Lifers are DOING IT all the time!

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Intellectual Badass... noun

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright kick arse person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

4... If you are Happy and you know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!

To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation for any problems you would like help with CLICK HERE

"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future!"

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