Do You Do What You Think Is The "Right Way"
Or Do You Do What Is True For You? 

By Ange Fonce


A legitimate and... indeed... a powerful question to ask is...  
 
How do you become a man or woman... who lives from their "deepest truth?" 
 
How do you even begin to FIGURE OUT what that "truth" is for you?  

And how do you make that "truth" WORK... in your life when the rest of the world seems content to just do what they "think" and have been "conditioned" to do... is the "right thing?"

Let me share a story with you about "how" one man failed... and what it might cost YOU if you do not know how to answer:

How Doing The "Right Thing"... Lost.
 
Recently I have shared time with an extraordinary group of friends... over the past 7 years... since I started Dynamic Life Development Systems proper... in other words went as a full time business.

I have accumulated a group of friends that are extraordinary... and I am so privileged to share my life with this "amazing" group of people.
 
It was a few hours past midnight and we were sitting in a small group on the floor... lounging on pillows and talking softly about what was important to us in the future.
 
One of my long term friends...  Jenny spoke up and she said... 

"I have a question for the men?"
 
It is worth mentioning that Jenny is one of the most powerful women that I know...  she is gorgeous... sexy... amazingly intelligent... vibrant and runs her own consulting firm... and she has a "huge heart"... so when Jenny has a question... we men pay attention.
 
She asked us... 

"When you are with a woman... how do you MAN?"
 
She briefly explained that she was using "man" in this context as a verb.  

"How do we do your "man thing" when in the company of a woman...  what are you doing that sets "you apart" with a woman...  how do you express your masculinity... sexually... socially... romantically?"
 
And so we went around the circle... each man... talked for a few minutes about how he "manned" for a woman....  the answers were beautiful... deep... and powerful.
 
Now there is a "twist" to this "situation" that added a little bit of "human drama" that made this episode... "difficult" for me.
 
An ex girlfriend of mine was there with her new boyfriend.
 
Obviously that could create some "strangeness" in some circles... and I... and all of my friends were committed to making him feel like a welcome part of the family...  and that was not hard to do because he was a "cool man"... a really decent person who was easy to talk to... successful in businesses... generous with his time and attention... an "intelligent" man who was always eager to help the "up and coming" on their way.
 
And when he answered the question.. he said something truly profound... deep... sensitive.. and worthy of a man.
 
And yet I found myself put off a bit...  there was something that felt not quite right to me... something was "off."  

And I gently chided myself for what I thought must be my own feelings of competition with him since he was "courting" an ex girlfriend.
 
When my turn came I answered as truthfully... directly... and "authentically" as I could... and described what I "thought" and "felt" to be the "core truth" of how I "man" for a woman...  and it was the most truthful answer that I could come up with.
 
And when I had finished... I looked up and noticed that my ex was hurrying out of the room... with what I thought was a tear in her eye...  though later everything seemed to be fine... and she and her new boyfriend were laughing and having fun together.
 
The next morning I was talking to one of my friends sharing a coffee... who was in the group the previous night and he asked me... 

"Did you see that... "my ex"... was crying and she left after your answer?"
 
I acknowledged that I did... and that I was not sure anyone else had noticed.
 
"I think she misses the way you..."'man!"

He said to me... and then of course... we talked about how her new boyfriend had answered the question... I said... 

"Well... he certainly said all the right things." 
 
My friend replied...

"That is the problem Ange...  he answered "right"... said the "right thing" instead of "true"...  when Jenny asked the question... we all thought deeply about what was "most true for us as men"... and he took it more as a competition for the "best answer"... like a question from the teacher at school... where everyone is looking for the 'right' answer that will please the teacher."
 
And as I reflected... I realized that my friend was right...  that is why I had that "off" feeling when he gave his answer... as it turns out... ALL US MEN had recognized the difference... so had Jenny and my ex... who a few weeks later sabotaged her relationship with him.
 
This is the way it is for most men... and yes... women too.  

So many men and women... are so busy trying to "get it right"... that they never manage to ask the "deeper question"... of "what is true?"
 
And both men and women build their whole lives around trying to say and do the "right thing" so that they will be accepted... accepted professionally... socially... romantically.
 
So Do You Do The "Right Thing"... Or Are You TRUE To You?

It is a powerful question to ask yourself...
 
"How do you "Man" for your woman?" 

"How do you "Woman" for your man?"
 
Do you try to figure out the RIGHT thing to do... the thing that is supposed to work... the answer that the teacher is looking for... the thing that is "acceptable to your social group"... and then do that... you will be accepted?
 
Or do you live from your "authentic deepest truth"... always working to figure out what is "real and true" for YOU... whether you are accepted or not?
 
Most people have a lot of trouble "figuring out" what they are doing... and WHY?  

And if your friends like to think of themselves as "counter culture... anti government... or anti authority"... or some kind of "alternative" in some way.

Then "pretending" that you are doing things "intentionally" against what your parents would have approved of... or being a "non conformist" so that you can say... 

"Yeah... I don't give a F69k!" 

Is actually trying to do things the "right way" in your social group.
 
If you are not "loving the life" that you are currently leading... if you are not "filled with intimacy"... in your friendships and romantic relationships... then probably you are still trying to do things the "right way."

There is NO "right way"... there is only the way of YOUR AUTHENTIC TRUTH!

The question is...

Do you live your TRUTH... AUTHENTICALLY?
 
Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely


Ange is an  Author... Speaker... and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with men and women who desire to "personally develop" themselves and their "relationships" to become Dynamic Lifers... "creators" of their own life and wealth!

Recommended Reading...


Thinking Or Feeling How Do You Make Decisions And Choices? 

By Ange Fonce

Now we are going to look at two different ways of making decisions.  

Thinkers feel and feelers think...  we have a “natural” tendency to lean one way or the other when it comes to making “decisions” and “choices”... some of us decide with the “head” and “think” things through before “deciding” and “choosing”... while others will run things through their “emotions”... before deciding and cho...




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