Do You Ask Questions Or Make Assumptions?

By Ange Fonce

One of the beautiful things about the human brain is that it can run on autopilot. 

And I am not just talking about your heart beat... your respiratory system and all of the other systems that run without conscious control. 

Even when it comes to skills that we learn as we grow up... things like tying your shoes... getting dressed... even something as complex as driving a car is mostly automatic habit once you have been doing it for a while.

And there is a very good reason why the brain is built like this. 

Because if we had to make those decisions "conscious" for every activity that we participated in... the amount of decisions would be mind boggling just to get through the day. 

I mean can you imagine having to relearn how to wash your face... brush you teeth... shave or put on make up everyday? 

You would never get out of the house! 

So overall I think it is a great thing that a lot of the activities that we do become automatic and do not require a lot of conscious thought... yet at times this can work against us. 

For example... 

Have you ever started driving in your car and got lost in your head and suddenly you were at a destination that you did not intend to go to? 

That is the downside of automaticity. 

This can also limit our ability to influence and persuade others too. 

For example... 

When you are trying to find out what makes someone tick... do you ask questions or make assumptions and draw conclusions? 

Asking questions can open up conversations... drawing conclusions from assumptions... not so much. 

A friend of mine is a financial planner and he shared with me a story about one of his clients. 

This man came into his office and my friend said that he looked like a homeless man... he was not dressed very well... was scruffy looking and carried a duffel bag in with him that looked like it might contain all of his worldly possessions. 

This man began asking what types of services my financial planner friend offered and my friend explained respectfully explained all of his services. 

After speaking with the man for an hour my friend asked him... 

"So what kind of money were you looking to invest?" 

The "homeless" man then opened up his duffel bag and proceeded to dump £300000 pounds cash onto my friends desk. 

Needless to say my friend was a little taken aback and he said that the only reason that he earned that clients trust was because he took the time to ask good questions and turned off that automatic part of his mind that wanted to label the man as a "homeless guy" just because the gentleman appeared to be homeless. 

So you want to learn how to ask better questions and find out what it is that really motivates someone... so that you have the best possible circumstances of influencing and persuading them and creating an opportunity that can benefit you both.

In other words... you create the WIN WIN for you both.

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Intellectual Badass... noun

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist... Sexologist and Multipreneur!... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

4... If you are Happy and you Know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!

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