Dealing With Negative Polarity Humans

By Ange Fonce

Though you cannot always avoid those who are only able to see the "negative" side of the coin... you can make certain... that they do not bring you down with them.

There's no question that being "positive... confident" and "optimistic" both cushions the blows of adversity,,, means you will deal with "problems"... and makes it easier to notice... and take advantage of "opportunities" when they come your way.

And staying "positive" and "optimistic" can be difficult if you have to deal with men and women  who only see the "negative" side of the coin all the time... and bitch... and bitch... and bitch... a category that unfortunately includes a large percentage of the population.

Here is a very simple methods... that you can use to ensure that the complainers... and wingers... do not bring you down... to their level.

1... Avoid them when possible...

This probably goes without saying... and is such a simple fix... and the absolute best way to deal with "negative" men and women who complain and winge all the time... is to cut them out of your life.

At work... do not hang out with them at the water cooler or sit next to them at lunch... uninvite them to any meeting at which their presence is not absolutely required.

If they are customers that you cannot avoid... stay cordial... professional... and friendly... and do not get sucked into a deeper "relationship."

If you are online... do not read the comments sections... on political blogs... or anywhere else that people vent anonymously... that is like drinking... "verbal diarrhoea"... from a virtual sewer.

And in your "personal life"... and "relationships"... WHY... even go there?

2... Do not go all Bright Eyed and Bushy Tailed on them...

When you must deal with "negative" people... the worst thing you can do is get... all bright eyed and bushy tailed...  that is like pouring petrol on a fire... you are going to get burnt.

Your display of "positivity" will not cheer them up... quite the contrary... they will see you as a challenge... and amp up their "negativity" to... "melt you down" mode.

Being "optimistic" around a "pessimist" is like painting a target on your forehead... a target at which the "pessimist" will aim his or her hatred and unhappiness... you do not "think" so... just Google... "I hate optimists"... and read some of the spew. 

Negative people are invested in their "negativity"... it is their... "comfort zone"... you are not going to jolly them out of it.

3... Agree... then weaken their "negativity" by reframing...

Negative people express themselves using "negative" and "emotionally charged" words... such as hate.. sucks... crap... useless... stupid... and so forth... because such words are loaded... they make the "negative" person more miserable and "negative"... it is a classical... self reinforcing...  feedback loop.

The only way to help "negative" people out of that loop is to edge them out of it by putting yourself on their side... using "negative rapport"... to reframe... to "positive rapport"... to do this... you immediately agree with every "negative" statement that they make... then... as part of that agreement... you rephrase what they said using words that are less loaded.

Examples...

Debbie... "I absolutely hate it with a passion when..."

You... "Yes... it is irritating when that happens..."

Debbie... "This totally sucks."

You... "So true... there are some real challenges here."

When you do this... you will notice that the "negative" person... in this case... a woman... will actually change her physiology... her body straightens... her glowering frown lightens up.

Do this long enough... and you can actually erode a persons "negativity"... to the point where she can take off the crap-coloured glasses.... it can take a long time though... yet when you know... and understand... "persuasion" and "influence" methods... you can turn a person... to your way of "thinking"... FAST!
 
4... Clear your head after ward...

Dealing with "negative" people taxes and drains your... "mental" and "emotional" energy... I have been working with such people for years... yet every now and then... an individual... will leave me "wiped out!"

So... whenever you have to deal with such men and women... it is well advised... to take time afterward to recharge your "mental" and "emotional" batteries... the best thing to do after dealing with... Debbie or Don downer... is to call or visit a kindred friend... who shares your basically "positive attitude."

If that is not possible... go for a walk with Nature... Nature has an... "amazing"... energy to recharge your energy level... listen to some music... that will lift you and get you moving and again... it is a method I use personal... get my body moving... and vibing again... after a "negativity" attack... read something inspirational... do something... anything... that creates a "mental" and "emotional" break.

Failing to do this is like failing to wash yourself... or change your clothes... after wading through foul smelling mud... if you are not careful... and "aware"... other men and womens "negativity"... can and will "invade"... you.

In fact... that is one of the reason that "negative people" are "negative"... it is a "learned behaviour." 

After all... most children are "natural optimists"... until adults educate then other wise!

There is a CHOICE... you can "choose"... to be DIFFERENT... and do things... handle even "negative situations"... in a POSITIVE WAY.

WIN WIN!

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely


Ange is an  Author... Speaker... and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with men and women who desire to "personally develop" themselves and their "relationships" to become Dynamic Lifers... "creators" of their own "life" and "wealth!" 

To CONTACT Ange CLICK HERE



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