Can A  Common 3 Letter Word Screw Up Your Ability

To influence Others? 

By Ange Fonce

The answer is yes and that is not the word. 

The word that can really mess things up for you is the word..."why." 

How come... what does making use of the word "why"... can cause problems?

Because most of the time when you are wanting to influence or persuade someone to do something... you have to ask them questions and there is nothing wrong with that... that is how you find out more information that can help you by making use of... Open Questions

Because when you use the word "why" it can sometimes feel like you are questioning some ones motives... because "why" is an investigative question and most people do not like having their motives questioned or feel like they are being interrogated.

For example... 

"Why did you date that man or woman?" 

"Why did you choose to work with that company?" 

"Why did you do that?" 

On the surface these questions may not seem too bad... yet often when you put a direct question like this to someone their gut reaction is to justify the reason why they made these decisions and if you are wanting to convince them to do something else... you have just put them in the mindset of having to defend their decisions and being resistant to you and not consider your suggestions which will work against you. 

So instead of asking... 

“Why did you date that man?” 

You could frame the question as an open question... 

“What was it about that man that attracted you to him?” 

Instead of  of asking...

“Why did you choose to work with that company.” 

You can frame the question as an open question and ask... 

“How did you come to work with that company... what influenced your choice?” 

Instead of  asking...

“Why did you do that?” 

You could rephrase it as an open question... 

“What led you to take that decision?” 

By asking open questions in this way that invites a response... instead of using the investigative “why” you take away their natural instinct to defend themselves and be resistant to you... so giving you a better  opportunity of getting your ideas and suggestions across to them. 

As you want to create open and comfortable communication to persuade and influence... not resistance and conflict.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Intellectual Badass... noun

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright kick arse person who is a GEEK and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life and wealth! 

To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation  CLICK HERE

"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future!"

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