Becoming An Authority By Influence 

By Ange Fonce

Let me remind you of this...

Do you know that one of the steps in becoming an authority is to stop chasing someone or something and focus on becoming the one that others chase and are attracted to and to know how to use a certain type of question to change the relationship with someone so that you are the one being chased. 

One of The Tribe who is doing an exercise from a module in the Academy recently wrote to me as part of this exercise and basically asked... 

“Of all the personal development web sites out there... why should I continue to stay with you?” 

I paraphrased a little here and I love it! 

This Dynamic Lifer gets it. 

Now... if it were a serious question... i.e... they was seriously asking why should they or anybody remain in The Tribe... how do you think I should answer? 

Should I list all of the great benefits of staying in The Tribe so this Dynamic Lifer will not leave? 

Should I mention all of the valuable content that is coming in the future that they will access to and will miss out on if they leave? 

Should I do my best to persuade them or anyone for that matter to please please please remain in The Tribe

The truth is that I could do all of these things and based on what you now know about positioning if you have been reading the articles or are in the Academy... what do you think is the best way for me to respond to a scenario like this without sounding needy or chasing?

Have a think about how you would respond first to this question before reading on...

Now Read ON... 

How about this as my response...

“Dear... you are absolutely right... there are tons of personal development sites out there that you can visit at any time... as a matter of  fact I can even recommend some if you are really looking that I personally highly rate... now the fact that you bring up the idea of not staying in The Tribe leads me to think that maybe this is not the best fit for you and what you are looking for... so before I go any further can you give me 3 reasons why I should keep you in The Tribe?” 

Do you see what I have done there?

So instead of me having to justify why they should stay in The Tribe... I use their question to put the responsibility back on them to justify... why I should allow them to stay in The Tribe

Why Am I Sharing This With You? 

A... Because I do not want you to be intimidated when someone who thinks they are in a position of authority starts asking you questions and tries to keep you in the inferior position and manipulate you... hell no! 

B... I want you to recognize when someone is trying to manipulate you so that you can turn it right back around on them if you choose to. 

Now I will go over another technique to share with you...and keep you from being the chaser to the one being chased and it is called the “remind you” technique. 

At first glance this may seem very simplistic... yet do not let that fool you into thinking that this will not work... if you follow these simple guidelines... this technique is easy to pull off and can be very effective in going from the one chasing to the one being chased. 

The best way to describe this is by way of a short story... 

John was a small business owner in need of a loan from his bank... he did not want to appear needy so he came up with this idea to get the attention of the loan officer of the bank. 

Every Friday when John would come into the bank to make his weekly deposit... he would pass by the loan officers door... one day after making his usual deposit on his way out of the bank he passed by the loan officers office and said to him... 

“Hi Mr. Smith... I do not have time to get into it right now and the next time I am in remind me to ask you about a small business loan.” 

And with that he left. 

The next week John came in again and made his deposit... again he walked past the loan officers door and said...

“Good afternoon Mr. Smith... the next time I come in I want to ask you a question about a loan.” 

And with that he was off. 

The following week John walked in again and as he finished his bank transaction and began to walk out of the bank... Mr. Smith came out of his office and said to him...

“John... when are we going to sit down and talk about that loan?” 

And just like that John stopped chasing the loan officer and had the officer come to him. 

Now when you do this there are a couple of things to keep in mind... if you can make the “thing” that you are going to talk about mutually beneficial... that is obviously a step in the right direction... also you can sometimes be a little vague about what it is that you want to talk about and the curiosity will drive the desire of the other person to seek you out

In the example above there is also a bit of anchoring going on and I have talked about anchoring before in previous articles... in other words John created the association of “loan” every time he spoke to the officer to the point that when John stopped mentioning it... the loan officer took over the idea and began bringing it up himself.

That is also a great way to subconsciously plant an idea into someone elses head and it is called “seeding”... John seeded the idea of a loan which the loan officer took as his own and then asked John to make an appointment with him.

Manipulative... could be... depends on your perspective... influencing... most definitely and effective. 

Another name for this is an “open feedback loop”... and again I have talked about “loops” before in the form of “negative feedback loops” and “positive feed back loops” in this case it is an open feedback loop... it is where you start a story or explanation and purposely do not complete it and the other person takes on the story to complete it. 

The idea behind it... is that if the story that you mention is something that I am interested in... then I will want to “close the loop” or learn how the story ends... it is a need in us as human beings to seek out resolutions. 

I am not sure if I am the only one this happens to and I cannot tell you the number of times I will start watching a movie that is half way over... only to have to stay and watch the entire ending even when I have seen it before. 

It is our curiosity and that need to see things complete that drives us.

Interesting point to mention... how did I start this article? 

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Intellectual Badass... noun

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright kick arse person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation  CLICK HERE

"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future!"

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