Avoidance The Elusive Confidence-Drainer 

By Ange Fonce

Avoidance shows up in many forms. 

From declining invitations to not taking chances to "creating" illusory justifications of why you cannot do... be and have a better life. 

Avoidance is a sneaky thing because of the "unconscious tactics" employed to hide yourself under the rubble of "busyness"... and "excuses" of lack and limitation.

You cannot fix what you do not face.

A big tendency for many people is to always have an "excuse"... 

“I am tired not interested."

"It is not my responsibility."

"I am too busy.”

Are the common ones. 

And staying in the background and never getting on the field to play the game of life gets you nowhere and nothing... just further proof to feed your "thinking" that you are not enough.

Hiding your self and putting barriers between you and what you really want just plain sucks. 

At the core of "avoidance" again... is just "false fears" built up since childhood. 

Ever notice that most of the things that you fear and worry about... just do not happen?

Training yourself to avoid scary and uncomfortable things and situations only fortifies your insecurity and solidifies your fears. 

At the core of avoidance is the need to feel secure. 

You learn to avoid things because you have had some kind of negative experience where you were not in your power...things got out of hand and you LEARNED to be afraid. 

And there is usually NOTHING to be afraid of if you stay present and take small steps out of your "comfort zones."

When trying new things and making changes... most people try to jump too far outside of their comfort zones and end up running right back to them because it was too hard or scary. 

Eventually... you learn to just stay small and hide out in your comfort zone.

So... what can you do about it in an "empowered"... confident way?

The Hula Hoop Method

Think of your comfort zone as a Hula Hoop... which is big plastic ring shaped toy that kids twirl around their body by gyrating their hips. 

Rather than jumping way outside of your "hula hoop comfort zone" and leaving it behind... just take one step outside of it... grab hold of it and bring it with you. 

One small step at a time.

This way you are never too uncomfortable... and you make consistent forward progress. 

Set smaller... achievable goals. 

Celebrate them and acknowledge your progress and keep moving forward. 

Before you know it... your level of confidence and quality of life will be vastly improved.

The process looks like this:

Effort... Experience... Competence... Confidence... Success... Satisfaction

Mankind went to the moon... one small step at a time. 

You can stretch your "boundaries"... explore new territory and gain experience... one small step at a time... right? 

By doing so in every area of your life... in a short time you will have become much more comfortable with trying bigger and better things and more sure of yourself.

Then what used to make you uncomfortable... tense and anxious becomes easy and automatic… because you have practiced taking small steps forward and proven to yourself that you can handle it. 

That is what "confidence" is.

After a while... what previously took conscious effort and stretching yourself becomes an "unconscious competence" which is a fancy way of saying that you can do it without hesitating or thinking about it. 

It is just a natural part of how you operate.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Ange is an  Author... Speaker... and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist who works with men and women on line and real world who desire to "personally develop" themselves and their "relationships" to become Dynamic Lifers... "creators" of their own life and wealth!

Recommended Reading...

How You FRAME Your Thinking Can Be The Difference 
Between Success And Failure 

By Ange Fonce

The words you use do not just "express" what you are "thinking" and "feeling"... they also tell your brain "how to think and feel"

So "self talk" has a major "impact" of your life... you come from a "pessimistic frame"... what I call the "poverty mindset"... then that is what you will "create" in your life... "pessimism... poverty... loser."

Losers use words that make them bigger "losers"... bigger "pes...

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