Posted by ANGE FONCE on Sunday, January 1, 2017 Under: Dynamic Personal Development Men & Women
Are You Envious Of Other People And Their Success?
By Ange Fonce
Most people I know in my personal circle of friends are not envious of anything... yes they have personal goals that they aspire too and being envious is an aberration to them... I have found though in others that when one has that quality it is extremely strong and being envious often is the embodiment of dissatisfaction with them selves and with their life situation or material possessions.
The people I have have worked with as a Personal Development Consultant who have been envious... usually have been dissatisfied with almost everything about themselves and lacking in personal esteem and personal confidence and trust in themselves and others and they are miserable and resentful because of it.
Loss of love... loss of relationships... loss of friendships and loneliness... yes they may have a lot of money and material wealth.... yet they are not at peace or accepting of themselves... they are always measuring and comparing themselves against someone else.
They are never good enough in their own eyes and are always complaining and please note here...
I personally have nothing against any one who has worked hard and taken the risks to create their lives and grown wealthy... I have a lot of respect for such men and women... I usually find such people are happy with themselves are generous and confident most of the time and are grateful for what they have... and that they are likeable and charismatic and they possess what I call an Abundant Mind Set... they achieve and acquire what they set out to do and in doing so acquire their success and as I work with such men and women who want to create and achieve that success for themselves!
When somebody else has something that you want... the Emotionally Mature men and women realise that yes he or she would like to have that thing yet “oh well”... he or she does not mind and “that is that” at the present time and their mindset is...
“If I want it... I will work hard to earn the money to be able to buy it and then I will have my own... yet for now that person has it and I do not and my life goes on.”
The envious man and woman on the other hand becomes obsessed with the idea of having that something that someone else has... whether it be a new car... a new wife or boyfriend... a new dress or jacket... whatever that obsession leads to dissatisfaction with yourself because that other person has something special and you do not and you twist this envious obsession in your mind... that not having and possessing that something special makes you less of a person in your own mind... it is what I call the poverty mindset.
A person who is satisfied with whatever he and she has will not become obsessive about something that someone else has... you might admire or would like to have your own and your happiness is not defined by something you see and would like and cannot have.
Dissatisfaction comes from many sources like low personal esteem and poor self image and thoughts of inferiority and of isolation... thoughts of loneliness and being disconnected from others or painful emotions experienced at the hands of someone else or self inflicted on yourself... the list could go on and on and an envious individual lets their own self image and personal esteem be defined by a thing... person or object and becomes obsessed with the idea of possessing it or in the case of another person becoming exactly like them.
I know that if you are going to deal with envious behaviour you must first look at it as a symptom not as a trait in itself as it is easy to say...
"Thou shalt not covet and be envious."
First the question to be asked is ... what are you are envious off?
You need to examine the ideas... ideals... beliefs that the person who is envious thinks is true?
You need to look at the whole package... the cause of the envious behaviour and not just the symptoms of the envious behaviour itself!
The best thing we can do for a person who is envious is not just point out the fact that he or she is doing something he or she will ultimately end up very unhappy and unfulfilled and to help them find out why they are doing so?
If they think that people will admire them more if they were married to a certain person or driving a certain car... you need to let them know that you admire them already for exactly who they are... that they are good enough.
If you are envious of others you have to ask yourself as to what you are envying and envious off... because this envious behaviour is holding you back from getting the most out of what you already have and the life you are living.
If you feel that having a certain thing or person will affect how others view you then know that acceptance or admiration based on material looks and possessions is superficial and fleeting you may get a few comments at first... yet real admiration is based on character and respect and character is never reflected in the material or superficial.
Character is who you are and how you conduct yourself and treat other people... be you... be the TRUTH YOU ARE and be comfortable and confident with that.
Always work to personally develop what and who you are and never think that you will be better for having some thing... you are who you are for a purpose and to be the best of who you are and to be that Dynamic man and woman to the very best of your own personal ability.
Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?
I would love to hear from you.
Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!
Dynamic Lifer... The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers
1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.
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3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist... Sexologist and Multipreneur... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth!
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