Are You creating The WRONG Type Of Rapport

When Social Courting? 

By Ange Fonce

You know that I used struggle with creating too much "rapport" with women... I was great at building a "connection" with a woman and not very good at "creating" any sort of "sexual tension."

The "problem” was...  that I created way too much "deep rapport”...  and did not create any "wide rapport.”

Deep rapport is when you go “really deep” on a “specific topic” that you both find interesting.  

Wide rapport is when you find “commonalities” on many “different” topics.

Deep rapport is the "complete opposite" to what you want... when you want to create “attraction” and “sexual tension.”

Deep rapport can come later on... if you want to move into a more "personal courting" level on a "one to one" basis.

Let us use the example of musical preferences.

Talking about music can be VERY DANGEROUS... especially for "introverts"... because "introverts" usually like to go "deep" when they are talking... the reason talking about music can be dangerous is because you can build “deep rapport” and nothing else... and the two of you can get complete “lost” in the subject. 

Now imagine you are talking to a man or woman and you find out that their favourite band is Sublime... and it just so happens that you own every single Sublime album... have a big poster of Bradley on your wall and even named your dog Lou Dog... you would “think” that would be a good thing right?

Well no actual... what usually happens is that the two of you spend the next hour or two talking about your favourite Sublime songs... how much you would like Bradley to be still alive... and bitching about how there is “no good music anymore."

That conversation never ends good... trust me... I have had it many times... you are in the “friend zone”... you are a “nice guy” or a “nice girl”... once the Sublime talk runs its course... you are left standing there in awkward silence without any sort of “real attraction” or “sexual chemistry.”

And I am sure you have had this happen to you many times... so what is a better way to handle it?

Being "skilled" in the "art" of "small talk!"

You should mix in some "wide rapport" to keep the “focus” of the “conversation” on the two of you... that you two are ALWAYS to be the “centre of attention.” 

So... using again the above example of music...  let us say you are talking to a man or woman and you find out that you are both really big fans of Sublime. 

Here is a better way to handle it...

You share a “few minutes” talking about Sublime... and then quickly move the "conversation" along...  picking out “points” where you have made other “connections”... I will carry on with the example of Sublime. 

Now understand I do not live in the USA... yet I know Sublime was from Southern California... so you can talk about California... and by “listening” to “what” the other person is “sharing” with you... what I call “intelligence gathering”... you can “pick” other “points” to take the “conversation” in a “different direction”... say you have “picked up” that you have both travelled... now you can “lead” the “conversation” into the two of you “sharing” wild travel adventures... the more “intelligence” you gather... the more you can “lead” the “conversation” into different areas. 

For example...

You can turn the “conversation” towards a sport you both enjoy... like motor racing... or skiing... and you may rise your eyebrow at motor racing... there are a lot of women who get “turned on” by “speed”... or you could carry on with the music theme... you can make a game out of naming all the famous dead rock stars you would love to have seen in concert... or would have had “sex” with.

See where the “conversation” has lead to... “sex” has been brought into the “conversation” in an “innocent” way... and you can “lead” the “conversation” of “sex” in all sorts of ways... you have brought “sexual tension” into the “conversation”... the ground has been laid for “flirting” and “seduction” and building “sexual tension!”

The “idea” is to find a bunch of “different commonalities”... and use them as a springboard into creating a “sexual vibe” between the two of you... building the “sexual tension” is ALWAYS more “important” than the “topic of conversation.”

That way you are not going to end up as a “nice guy” or “nice girl” and ending the “conversation” with “been nice talking to you” and you are firmly in the “friends zone.”

You are going to be the Man or Woman the other person WANTS to “connect” with again... because the “sexual vibe”... the “attraction”  you “created” is there! 

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Recommended Reading...

Do You Jump Right In To Break The Ice When Social Courting? 

By Ange Fonce

Breaking the ice when “social courting” is a lot like jumping in a cold pool... it is the “thought”... the “build up” that builds your anxiety...  circling around the pool... dipping your toe in...  trying to “psyche” yourself up to take the plunge... and when you do... the first few seconds in the pool might be a little uncomfortable... and sometimes the pool is too damn cold and you got to get your ass ...

“If you are a successful... quality... sharp dressed Man and Woman with their life together... 
then there are way fewer of you than average men and women... it is a matter of supply and demand!”

Ange is an  Author... Speaker... and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life and wealth! 


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