Are You Constantly A Victim Of Self Sabotaging Behaviour?

By Ange Fonce

Are you having trouble gaining any form of success in your life?

Are you going for what you want and yet you keep feeling like you are constantly meeting an invisible wall?

Are you constantly finding yourself not doing some of the things you know you should be doing and what can you do about it? 

Read on for some advice on how to deal with your worst enemy... YOURSELF!

Problem 1... Constantly focusing on what is not working

and not right or missing from your life...

Notice how often you speak and think about what is not working and not right or missing from your life... this kind of thinking only attracts more of the things you do not want to happen... instead ask yourself a new and different questions like...

"What is going right?" 

"What IS working?" 

Begin to notice all the things... no matter how small they may seem to you... that are working well... my advice is to always keep a journal and at the end of each day write down everything about your day and I do mean everything... that is working well for you and you will start to focus more on what is working for you and less on what is not working well... you have to start to retrain your thinking patterns.

Problem 2... Being stuck in fear...

Do you worry a lot about the future and what is going to happen or might happen?

Are you thinking about your fears so much that you are paralysed and take no action because of the fear of what might occur?

It is time to put your focus on the present... you cannot control... predict the future or other people's behaviours... all we can control is our self own... in the present and work to create the future you would like to live... ask yourself this question...

"What is the worst thing that could happen to me?" 

Then... let go and know that rarely do the scenarios we create in our own minds occur... take a moment to put things into perspective by writing down the things you can not change and then the things you want to change. 

Problem 3.... Feeling you have no value...

Do you forget all your accomplishments and lack pride in who you are and what you have accomplished? 

If you obsess about the past or your lack of success or lack of achievement,.. then you will be stuck in noticing how much you lack as a person... if you often criticize yourself or cannot accept compliments... it is a definite sign that you have fallen into this trap.

You can choose to notice what you do that is good and the things you can be proud of... no matter how small they may seem... each day keep a log of what you are grateful for about YOU... when you hear your mind chattering about what you have not done right or well... turn down the volume and turn up the volume to hear the voice that knows the TRUTH about who you are and how you add value to the world... acknowledge yourself for at least 5 things each and every day that you did well.... each day compliment yourself on something you did that you feel good about... notice your small successes and accept the compliments others give you.

Problem 4... Comparing yourself to others...

Do you constantly compare yourself to others and then feel badly when compared to them? 

Comparison does not motivate you to do more... be better... instead it makes you feel you will never be good enough and that you are not right now.

Write out the 5 qualities you like best about yourself... then write out what you value most in your life... when you go to a place of comparison notice how similar you are with the other person vs. what is different... begin to create a list of adjectives that describe you... at least 25 positive words about your greatness... whenever you notice yourself in a comparison mode... think of some of the adjectives that describe YOU.

Problem 5... Self Sabotage... getting what you want and then losing it...

Do you not think that you deserve to have what you want? 

When you get what you want... why do you often lose it or mess it up... what is the true story underneath...  maybe that you think you are not good enough to have it?

List all the things you have accomplished that faded away... simply notice these things and do not place any judgement on the fact they disappeared... how did they bring you satisfaction... how did they make you feel... what is the limiting thinking that you have that tells you inside why you cannot have what you want? 

Be quiet... be still and listen to it.

Write down how you felt when you had what you wanted... write down how you feel now without it... then write a... "bridge thought"... a thought that feels better than what you now think... each week create a new bridge thought that you can act on.... by using these bridge thoughts as stepping stones you will shift your limiting thinking and be on the other side of the bridge and able to maintain it because you will have a new thoughts going inside of your mind.

Problem 6.... You chase away relationships...

Do you always feel something is missing in your relationships or find fault with the other person? 

Perhaps you are afraid of intimacy... underneath this is usually a fear of abandonment or exposure that causes you to distance yourself from others.

Create a list of the qualities you value in a relationship and the qualities you want to attract in your partners... express what you want and do not want to the other person and allow them to express the same to you... create time to acknowledge the other person on a regular basis... notice when you feel afraid... do not try to push the feelings away... know that the feelings are there and that is fine... then in that moment focus on what feels good about the relationship.

Problem 7... Having no purpose...

Do you feel you have no purpose in life? 

We all have some purpose for being on the planet and it is time to notice yours.

Write down all the things that are important to you... the thing you want to create in your life... then write out what you want to contribute to the world... from your writing... create a statement of purpose for yourself that you can read each and every day.

Then stop worrying about not knowing your purpose and start creating what you desire now... it does not matter what you want in the future... so start creating something you want in your life NOW... this action will ultimately put you in alignment and bring you closer to your overall purpose.

These are simple methods... and when you practice them every day... the accumulating effect over time will start having an impact of you and you self sabotaging behaviours will be replaced with  productive behaviours that benefit you... and you will start to become more happy... productive... and more successful in what you want and do in life. 

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Intellectual Badass... noun

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright kick arse person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation for any problems you would like help with CLICK HERE

"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future!"

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